Graham Parke Quotes

#1. Just before I look under my bed, I always get a little cold feeling, as if part of me expects to find something staring back at me.
I've probably seen too many Hollywood movies to have any hopes of ever cultivating a healthy relationship with the underside of my bed.

Graham Parke

#2. Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

Graham Parke

#3. Sometimes I'm so smart, I almost feel like a real person.

Graham Parke

#4. The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn't even check for traffic. There wasn't any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.

Graham Parke

#5. I make sure to always have some spinach between my teeth so people are disinclined to bother me.
Survival strategies for the 21st century.

Graham Parke

#6. Sadly, my socks are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.

Graham Parke

#7. I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.

Graham Parke

#8. My Zombie apocalypse plan is simple but effective; I fully intend to die in the very first wave.
Seems more logical than undergoing all kinds of hardships only to die eventually anyway (through bites/malnutrition/or terminally chapped lips)

Graham Parke

#9. Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.

Graham Parke

#10. I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.

Graham Parke

#11. I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg.
I felt dirty and stupid.

Graham Parke

#12. I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually.

Graham Parke

#13. Every once in a while you come across a novel that reminds you why you think you enjoy reading in the first place.

Graham Parke

#14. I'm not sure my belly button is exactly in the middle. I wonder what that means..

Graham Parke

#15. It's finally happened; scientists claim to have discovered the very first person in history who doesn't like french fries.
Just imagine the implications!

Graham Parke

#16. Do you ever feel that everything would be okay, if only you had an Irish accent?

Graham Parke