Top 100 Quotes About Discworld
#1. 'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.
Terry Pratchett
#2. In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper.
Terry Pratchett
#3. You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.
Terry Pratchett
#4. The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when people have a really big series they franchise it, which I thought is a bit of a no-no, so I thought what I'd do is I'd franchise it to myself.
Terry Pratchett
#5. Only elves and trolls had survived the coming of Man to the discworld: the elves because they were altogether too clever by half, and the trolley folk because they were at least as good as humans at being nasty, spiteful and greedy.
Terry Pratchett
#6. Racism was not a problem on the DIscworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.
Terry Pratchett
#7. Many worlds are iron, at the core. But the Discworld is as coreless as a pancake. On the Disc, if you enchant a needle it will point to the Hub, where the magical field is strongest. It's simple. Elsewhere, on worlds designed with less imagination, the needle turns because of the love of iron.
Terry Pratchett
#8. Tolkien is eminently filmable, I think. 'The Lord of the Rings' is intensely ... landscaped. But 'Discworld' is about dialogue, which is one reason why it might be hard to film.
Terry Pratchett
#9. Map-making had never been a precise art on the Discworld. People tended to start off with good intentions and then get so carried away with the spouting whales, monsters, waves and other twiddly bits of cartographic furniture that the often forgot to put the boring mountains and rivers in at all.
Terry Pratchett
#10. As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.
Terry Pratchett
#11. Middle Earth. Vulcan. Pern. Arrakis. Magrathea. Discworld, Mid-World, Riverworld, Ringworld. Worlds upon worlds.
Ernest Cline
#12. I think I work much harder on the children's books. I suppose I enjoy that. I find it interesting that although there are more than 30 books in the Discworld series, it is the four that were written for children which have won the awards. I've never been quite certain why this is.
Terry Pratchett
#13. Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.
Terry Pratchett
#14. There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.
Terry Pratchett
#15. As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was.
Terry Pratchett
#16. I think it does Discworld good if I don't write about it all the time: sometimes you have to get it out of your system.
Terry Pratchett
#17. Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.
Terry Pratchett
#18. Ah, I know that," said Tiffany, as the boat rocked on the swell. "Whales aren't dangerous, because they just eat very small things ... "
"Row like the blazes, lads!" Rob Anybody yelled.
Terry Pratchett
#19. The street was full of animals, milling around uncertainly. When animals are in a state of uncertainty they get nervous, and the street was already, as it were, paved with anxiety.
Terry Pratchett
#22. It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.
Terry Pratchett
#23. History was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders.
Terry Pratchett
#24. There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it.
Terry Pratchett
#25. We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience
Terry Pratchett
#26. On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
#27. Nanny Ogg gave this the same consideration as would a nuclear physicist who'd just been told that someone was banging two bits of sub-critical uranium together to keep warm.
Terry Pratchett
#28. Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.
Terry Pratchett
#29. If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
Terry Pratchett
#30. But William felt in his bones that you couldn't run a city on the basis of what the Watch liked. The Watch would probably like it if everyone spent their time indoors, with their hands on the table where people could see them.
Terry Pratchett
#31. Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Terry Pratchett
#32. He had died for his beliefs; chief among them was the very Hugglestonian one that bravery could replace armour, and that Klatchians would turn and run if you shouted loud enough.
Terry Pratchett
#33. The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.
Terry Pratchett
#34. I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts,
Terry Pratchett
#35. I thought dwarfs loved gold," said Angua.
"They just say that to get it into bed.
Terry Pratchett
#36. You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
Terry Pratchett
#38. A camel in distress isn't a shy creature. It doesn't hang around in bars, nursing a solitary drink. It doesn't phone up old friends and sob at them. It doesn't mope, or write long soulful poems about Life and how dreadful it is when seen from a bedsitter. It doesn't know what angst is.
Terry Pratchett
#39. News is unusual things happening - And usual things happening [ ... ] But news is mainly what someone somewhere doesn't want you to put in the paper - Except that sometimes it isn't [ ... ] News, [ ... ] all depends. But you'll know it when you see it.
Terry Pratchett
#40. Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.
Terry Pratchett
#41. Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice
i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.
Terry Pratchett
#42. Then there is the dress. It has been owned by many sisters as well and has been taken up, taken out, taken down, and taken in by her mother so many times that it really ought to have been taken away.
Terry Pratchett
#43. Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words.
Terry Crowley
#44. It's not gambling to play
against someone who's no good. It's common sense.
Terry Pratchett
#45. Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.
Terry Pratchett
#46. Silverfish looked down.
"Oh. Are you a dwarf?"
Cuddy gave him a blank stare.
"Are you a giant?" He said.
"Me? Of course not!"
"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.
Terry Pratchett
#47. In front of her the cat Greebo, glad to be home again, lay on his back with all four paws in the air, doing his celebrated something-found-in-the-gutter impersonation.
Terry Pratchett
#48. Welcome to fear, Moist said to himself. It's hope, turned inside out.
Terry Pratchett
#49. What we're going to do is keep the peace. That's our job. We're not going to be heroes, we're just going to be ... normal.
Terry Pratchett
#51. I'm sure it's all journalism [ ... ] It means it's true enough for now.
Terry Pratchett
#52. Colon looked awkward, as if the bunched underwear of the past was tangling itself in the crotch of recollection.
Terry Pratchett
#53. He sat down on the turf, relishing the breeze through the gorse bushes and sucking in pure fresh air. Whatever you thought about goblins, their cave had the kind of atmosphere about which people say, I should wait two minutes before going in there, if I was you.
Terry Pratchett
#54. Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
Terry Pratchett
#55. All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.
Terry Pratchett
#56. She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she couldn't quite bring it to mind.
Terry Pratchett
#57. I assure you I will not kill you," said Inigo.
"I know that," said Vimes. "But will you try?
Terry Pratchett
#58. A dollar for a human bought a loaf of bread that was eaten in a few bites. The same dollar for Wee Mad Arthur bought the same-sized loaf, but it was food for a week and could then be further hollowed out and used as a bedroom.
Terry Pratchett
#59. Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal.
"Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed.
"Yes."
"One of your soldiers said he bit a man's nose off."
Vimes shrugged. "He's got a very pointed look if I don't use the sugar tongs, I know that.
Terry Pratchett
#60. Then Tak looked upon the stone and it was trying to come alive, and Tak smiled, and wrote All things strive.
And for the service the stone had given, he fashioned it into the first Troll, and delighted in the life that came unbidden.
Terry Pratchett
#61. Tiffany found her mind filling up with an invisible gray mist, and in that thought there was nothing but grief. She could feel herself trying to push back time, but even the best witchcraft could not do that.
Terry Pratchett
#62. Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.
Terry Pratchett
#63. It was a Guild of Assassins, after all. Black was what you wore. The night was black and so were you. And black had such style, and an Assassin without style, everyone agreed, was just a highly paid arrogant thug.
Terry Pratchett
#64. Tiffany thought of the little spot in the woods where Granny Weatherwax lay. Remembered.
And knew that You had been right. Granny Weatherwax was indeed here. And there. She was, in fact, and always would be, everywhere.
Terry Pratchett
#65. In Ankh-Morpork even the shit have a street to itself," said Detritus, awe and wonder in his voice. "Truly, this a land of opportunity.
Terry Pratchett
#66. A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
Terry Pratchett
#67. Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you."
"Sir?"
"It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority."
"Sir?"
"That's practically zen.
Terry Pratchett
#68. My Lord ... what is Death like?" called the old man tremulously.
"When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know," came the faintest of modulations on the breeze.
"Yes," murmured the Loremaster. A thought struck him. "During daylight, please," he added.
Terry Pratchett
#69. Several times he had to flatten himself against the shelves as a thesaurus thundered by. He waited patiently as a herd of Critters crawled past, grazing on the contents of the choicer books and leaving behind them piles of small slim volumes of literary criticism.
Terry Pratchett
#71. ...she was definitely feeling several twinkles short of a glitter...
Terry Pratchett
#72. where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed self-evident wisdom*
*Made it up
and extrapolated from associated sources** **had read a lot of stuff that other people had made up, too.
Terry Pratchett
#73. You're not suggesting that Vetinari tucks into a nice rat every day?" said Angua.
"I've heard he uses rats as spies, so I don't think he'd use them as elevenses," said Carrot.
Terry Pratchett
#74. It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?
Terry Pratchett
#75. Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.
Terry Pratchett
#76. Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up.
"I've always wondered about his name," said Nobby, turning and waving. "I mean ... Legitimate?"
"Can't blame a mother for being proud, Nobby," said Colon.
Terry Pratchett
#78. There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load behind him and bickering over trigonometry. Moist tried not to listen; he got lost when maths started to get silly.
Terry Pratchett
#79. There was a hell for blasphemers. There was a hell for disputers of rightful authority. There were a number of hells for liars. There was probably a hell for little boys who wished their grandmothers were dead. There were more than enough hells to go around.
Terry Pratchett
#80. Esme Weatherwax hadn't done nice. She'd done what was needed.
Terry Pratchett
#81. Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!
Terry Pratchett
#82. The barricade was taking some while to dismantle. Chair legs and planks and bedsteads and doors and baulks of timber had settled into a tangled mass. Since every piece belonged to someone, and Ankh-Morpork people care about that sort of thing, it was being dismantled by collective argument.
Terry Pratchett
#83. You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.
Terry Pratchett
#84. Never ask the tight-rope walker how he keeps his balance. if he stops to think about it, he falls off
Terry Pratchett
#85. You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [ ... ] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.
Terry Pratchett
#86. A dwarf who can't get the hang of metal? That must be pretty unique."
"Pretty rare, sir. But I was quite good at alchemy.."
"Guild member?"
"Not any more, sir."
"Oh? How did you leave the guild?"
"Through the roof, sir. But I'm pretty certain I know what I did wrong.
Terry Pratchett
#87. Well, you know Esme. She wasn't one for that kind of thing - never one to push herself forward*
* She hadn't ever needed to. Granny Weatherwax was like the prow of a ship. Seas parted when she turned up.
Terry Pratchett
#88. When new students tried an experiment that was particularly successful in terms of explosive force, the result was often a cross between a major factory refit and a game of Hunt-the-other-Kidney.
Terry Pratchett
#89. If you must know, he said 'my goodness me, a walking potato
Terry Pratchett
#91. I'm not a natural killer! See this? See what it says? I'm supposed to keep the peace, I am! If I kill people to do it, I'm reading the wrong manual!
Terry Pratchett
#92. Are you staying with us? It could be dangerous,' said William, realizing that he was saying this to a vampire iconographer who undied every time he took a picture.
Terry Pratchett
#94. No-one likes being told it's their lucky day. That sort of thing does not bode well. When someone tells you it's your lucky day, something bad is about to happen.
Terry Pratchett
#96. The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.
Terry Pratchett
#97. It had, however, been declared by his own physician to be a case of natural causes. Bentzen had gone to see the man and explained that falling down a flight of steps with a dagger in your back was a disease caused by an unwise opening of the mouth.
Terry Pratchett
#98. The Great God Om waxed wroth, or at least made a spirited attempt. There is a limit to the amount of wroth that can be waxed one inch from the ground, and he was right up against it.
Terry Pratchett
#100. And Tiffany knew that if a witch started thinking of anyone as "just" anything, that would be the first step on a well-worn path that could lead to, oh, to poisoned apples, spinning wheels, and a too-small stove ... and to pain, and terror, and horror and the darkness.
Terry Pratchett
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