Andy Zaltzman Quotes

#1. To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want?

Andy Zaltzman

#2. A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.

Andy Zaltzman

#3. New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'
Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.

Andy Zaltzman

#4. Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family

Andy Zaltzman

#5. Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.

Andy Zaltzman

#6. Nice mix of Tory MPs saying this issue shouldn't be used for petty political pointscoring, & Tory MPs trying to score petty political points.

Andy Zaltzman

#7. Yes, freedom is good, but arguably, grammar is better.

Andy Zaltzman

#8. If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales

Andy Zaltzman