Top 100 Yankovic Quotes
#1. I know more polkas than Frankie Yankovic. I grew up next door to the Polka Tavern in Milwaukee. I can sing some polkas. And proud of that.
Al Jarreau
#2. Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
Al Yankovic
#3. It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.
Al Yankovic
#4. My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.
Al Yankovic
#5. I don't watch a lot of other people's parodies because I don't want to be unduly influenced.
Al Yankovic
#6. It becomes more important to me as time goes on to make every album the best thing I've ever done, so it's a lot of self-imposed pressure that also kind of slows me down a bit.
Al Yankovic
#7. My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.
Al Yankovic
#8. Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.
Al Yankovic
#9. I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got
Could see all kinds of things other people could not!
So then why get upset if somebody like me
Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?
Al Yankovic
#10. I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.
Al Yankovic
#11. I mean, I hate to gloat, but I'm extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.
Al Yankovic
#12. Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.
Al Yankovic
#13. That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up.
Al Yankovic
#14. As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
Al Yankovic
#15. There aren't that many superstars around anymore.
Al Yankovic
#16. I'm obviously not a rapper, and I don't have any claims to be one, really.
Al Yankovic
#17. I have a long-standing history of respecting artists' wishes.
Al Yankovic
#18. The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.
Al Yankovic
#19. When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
Al Yankovic
#20. How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?
Al Yankovic
#21. I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, 'OK, this is what I'm going to do for a living and I'm going to be Weird Al.'
Al Yankovic
#22. If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.
Al Yankovic
#23. A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.
Al Yankovic
#24. I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Al Yankovic
#25. Pop culture's gotten much more disposable.
Al Yankovic
#26. That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
Al Yankovic
#27. In the '80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV. Now with internet culture it seems like everyone is doing music parodies. And they're not all good!
Al Yankovic
#28. I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits - and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!
Al Yankovic
#29. Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
Al Yankovic
#30. I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.
Al Yankovic
#31. In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
Frank Yankovic
#32. He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
Al Yankovic
#33. I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.
Al Yankovic
#34. A lot of rap songs don't usually have a lot of melody per se.
Al Yankovic
#35. I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
Al Yankovic
#36. I'm very analytical, I'm very precise.
Al Yankovic
#37. Why of course it's unlikely!' I said. 'Oh, by far!
The awesome-est things in the world often are!
Al Yankovic
#38. By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.
Al Yankovic
#39. People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
Al Yankovic
#40. I enjoy all kinds of music. But it is kind of strange when I do parodies, instead of setting up drums and guitar amps.
Al Yankovic
#41. I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it's very difficult to figure out where I fit.
Al Yankovic
#42. I'm an ugly girl,
My face makes you hurl,
Sad I have it,
I should bag it.
Acne everywhere,
Unwanted facial hair.
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.
Al Yankovic
#43. I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.
Al Yankovic
#44. People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
Al Yankovic
#45. You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
Al Yankovic
#46. I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.
Al Yankovic
#47. It fit pretty nicely into my schedule because we'd pretty much finished the bulk of promotion for Mandatory Fun and were just getting geared up for the World Tour so this was a nice time for me to be working on it.
Al Yankovic
#48. I like to think that I've gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it's stayed the same.
Al Yankovic
#49. Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
Al Yankovic
#50. Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
Al Yankovic
#51. One of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my career is keeping my material topical even though I only release albums every three or four years.
Al Yankovic
#52. You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
Al Yankovic
#53. Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
Al Yankovic
#54. I'm a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, "How am I going to screw this up?" [Laughs] If I'm really actively trying to think of a parody, then I'll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.
Al Yankovic
#55. Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.
Al Yankovic
#56. Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
Al Yankovic
#57. I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that's more my personal taste.
Al Yankovic
#58. I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
Al Yankovic
#59. As a wise man once said, "April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads."
Al Yankovic
#60. I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children's book was something that I'd been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career.
Al Yankovic
#61. It's hard to say, I picked one of my favorite articles for the MAD vault. Which is one of the features of the Magazine so they don't have to actually pay artists or writers to come up with new stuff.
Al Yankovic
#62. I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.
Al Yankovic
#63. The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
Al Yankovic
#64. There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
Al Yankovic
#65. So I'm one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on 'The Simpsons,' which I'm very flattered by.
Al Yankovic
#67. You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes.
Al Yankovic
#68. I've always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it! Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I'd just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
Al Yankovic
#69. I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
Al Yankovic
#70. I've done a movie and a TV series, and someday I'd like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.
Al Yankovic
#71. I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.
Al Yankovic
#72. Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.
Al Yankovic
#73. I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
Al Yankovic
#74. Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
Al Yankovic
#75. It's hard to force creativity and humor.
Al Yankovic
#76. I'd like to be able to be more topical and timely and more of-the-moment and I think the way to do that is, instead of waiting until I have twelve songs to release all at once, just to release them as I come up with them.
Al Yankovic
#77. If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
Al Yankovic
#78. My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.
Al Yankovic
#79. If I could find the right kind of property, get tied in with the right movie, I'd love to be involved, but I just find it hard to be motivated to do another screenplay right now.
Al Yankovic
#80. Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.
Al Yankovic
#81. I don't think there are any new media I'd like to cover.
Al Yankovic
#82. I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
Al Yankovic
#83. I'm watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
Al Yankovic
#84. As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.
Al Yankovic
#85. At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad ... it's meant to be a tribute.
Al Yankovic
#86. You don't need to be defined by your job.
Al Yankovic
#87. People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it's more like having a gallbladder operation.
Al Yankovic
#88. What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
Al Yankovic
#89. I don't like to label myself. I know I'm very hard to pigeonhole.
Al Yankovic
#90. Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really.
Al Yankovic
#91. My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
Al Yankovic
#92. So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
Al Yankovic
#93. Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.
Al Yankovic
#94. You still have Top 40 radio now, but it's 40 different stations. There aren't many hits that everybody knows, and there aren't many real superstars.
Al Yankovic
#95. I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I'll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points, and then I'll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.
Al Yankovic
#96. It was difficult to get into my friends' rock bands when I was a teenager. They somehow didn't see the need for an accordion player. That's when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.
Al Yankovic
#97. As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun.
Al Yankovic
#98. When I started out, I didn't feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I'm accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.
Al Yankovic
#99. When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
Al Yankovic
#100. I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
Al Yankovic
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
