Ya Comedy Quotes

#1. You're ... a demon hunter?'
'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.

Maureen Johnson

#2. Selecting and discarding one's possessions is a continuous process of making decisions based on one's own values.

Marie Kondo

#3. My clothes have always been expensive. Even though I have had a few lower-priced lines over the years, little by little everything I do tends toward the luxury market.

Jean Paul Gaultier

#4. I wondered if this was how it felt to sell your soul to the devil. I bet there were awesome cookies in hell, too.

Lisa Brown Roberts

#5. It's hillbilly urine; we had better get home before they come to eat us. Kevin said pointing towards home proving if there was ever any doubt that he had no acting ability at all. (The Children of Ankh series)

Kim Cormack

#6. This stupid infatuation had to stop. I was Trina Clemons, future valedictorian of Sky Ridge High. I had plans. Plans that didn't involve any detours with slacker party boys who wore shoelaces in their hair.

Lisa Brown Roberts

#7. I gulped. But, I mean, everyone bends the truth sometimes to be friendly. What's really weird is that I'm the only one who seems to get in trouble for it. Anyway, what could possibly go wrong this time?

Sue Wyshynski

#8. There ya go, end of the universe, butterfingers.

David Tennant

#9. I'm angry at Chris. I'm hurt. Well, you know what I fear? This is my fear. This moment when, once again, you shut me out
and I'm alone. If you were going to leave me alone, you should have walked away before now, when I still knew how to breathe without you.

Lisa Renee Jones

#10. Normally I didn't attend my father's funerals unless I was scheduled to sing, but it wasn't every day Dad buried a rock star.

Linda Budzinski

#11. Despereaux thought that he might faint with the pleasure of someone referring to his ears as small and lovely. He laid his tail against the Pea's wrist to steady himself and he felt the princess's pulse, the pounding of her heart, and his own heart immediately took up the rhythm of hers.

Kate DiCamillo

#12. Our culture has the expectation that the memories of a happy childhood will somehow ground you and prepare you for adult life. But what about the memories that cut, that wound, that won't heal?

Laurie Halse Anderson

#13. Nice driving, ya doomed fucks!

Daniel Younger

#14. I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.

Roald Dahl

#15. When feminists become saints, we will become their pupils.

Peter Kreeft

#16. Carpenter: "Call Shen Te, someone! She's good!"
Shui Ta: "Certainly. She's ruined.

Bertolt Brecht

#17. Many large corporations are actually modeled on hell,' Brother Frank added. 'The policies and organization are almost idential. Hell, of course, is much worse.

Maureen Johnson

#18. So now you know where to shop. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. Stop wasting your money on conspicuous consumption. As a first step, work less, earn less, accumulate less, and "consume" more family time, vacations, and other enjoyable activities.

Jonathan Haidt

#19. My mother didn't believe in germs but I did. Germs are something they made up to distract people from what they should really be worried about, she said. Germs are natural. It's the things people do you have to worry about.

Joyce Maynard

#20. Twas a still, calm night and the moon's pale light
Shone over hill and dale
When friends mute with grief stood around the deathbed
Of their loved, lost Lily Lyle.
Heart as pure as forest lily
Never knowing guile,
Had its home within the bosom
Of sweet Lily Lyle.

Flora Thompson

#21. When Dad was a kid, he wanted to be a lumberjack, but unfortunately he'd been cursed with the build of an accountant and the brain of an astrophysicist. These qualities had combined to make him the third-most-visited orthodontist in northern New Jersey.

Kieran Scott

#22. He wanted to break up with me in the cafeteria? Fat chance. I leaned toward him and touched his arm in a girlfriend sort of way. "If you planned to stage a public breakup with me, you can forget it."
Amusement showed in his hazel eyes. "Think you can stop me?

Chris Cannon

#23. We could use all the blessings we could get. The impact of what we were about to do hit me like an anvil on Wile E. Coyote's head. We were heading out to stop Satan's son and save the world from certain destruction.
Piece of cake.

Terri Clark

#24. --'What did Mum want?'
--'She said not to give away the milk for free.'
--'You're not livestock. Go out with me?'
--Not two sentences I've ever heard used together before.

Emily Evans

#25. Yes, Trina. Really, I'll show up to help you. Really, I'll bring a friend. Really, I'm not a total dick. I just play one on TV.

Lisa Brown Roberts

#26. It's a rare thing to find somebody you can work with, work off of, and have fun with.

Matthew Ashford

#27. When I was really little, I wanted to be a taxi driver or a bus driver; I loved the fact that I could play my own music when I wanted. But I can't imagine actually doing that now; I think I'd get bored.

Eliza Doolittle

#28. Costume, hair and makeup can tell you instantly, or at least give you a larger perception of who a character is. It's the first impression that you have of the character before they open their mouth, so it really does establish who they are.

Colleen Atwood

#29. With his blond hair, broad shoulders, and perpetual tan,
Bryce looked like a California underwear model. Not that I'd thought about him in his underwear.
Much.

Chris Cannon

#30. I don't know why Kate was trying to impress him, as far as I could see the guy had all the allure and social grace of a psychotic slug with halitosis and a bad head cold.

Sharon Sant