Witty Comments Quotes

#1. It almost takes people by surprise when I'm not a big talker. Because I'm known as being sort of a loud mouth. I have a lot to say. But I try to be more thoughtful with my comments or reactions, unless it's something witty or hysterical that I just can't keep myself from blurting or tweeting!

Natalie Maines

#2. Talking to them was like being placed into conversational purgatory, with no hope of being released without significant damage to one's self-esteem.

Elizabeth Eulberg

#3. It's impossible to escape from religion anywhere you are in the States.

Josh Jones

#4. What are you - Secret Service?'
'If I were, I wouldn't admit it.'
'And you're not admitting it, I notice.

Robert Goddard

#5. Troubleshooters?" Michael asked.

"When there's trouble," I told him, "they shoot it.

Jim Butcher

#6. It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.

Lemony Snicket

#7. I'm not sure I've turned your Commander inside out, but I can assure you if that iron skillet was empty, I would bring him down a peg or two.

Julia Mills

#8. They made comments about the women's legs, but, as they were not witty, their remarks had no finesse. Since their emotion was not torn by any point, they quite naturally skidded along on a stagnent ground of poetry.

Jean Genet

#9. I know you are incredibly bright, because when you are not being a smartarse your comments in class are very insightful, and when you ARE being a smartarse you are witty and clever and you make me laugh even when I want to slap you.

Amy Harmon

#10. Don't forget that in pushing policemen into duck ponds the follow through is everything.

P.G. Wodehouse

#11. I wasn't happy, exactly, but I was remembering how happiness felt.

Karen Joy Fowler

#12. We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'

Sinbad

#13. I get lost, sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart.

Peter Gabriel

#14. Knowledge is prior to any particular knowledge, and exists not in the previous state of the individual, but of the race. It is potential, not actual, and can only be appropriated by strenuous exertion.

Plato

#15. It is monstrous that custom should force us to display our faces ostentatiously, however worn and wrinkled and mean they may be, whilst carefully concealing all our other parts, however shapely and well preserved.

George Bernard Shaw

#16. What? Corpus. Body. Corpse. Good idea the Latin. Stupifies them first. Hospice for the dying. They don't seem to chew it; only swallow it down.

James Joyce

#17. I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.

Carl Sandburg

#18. If you deal with every customer in the same way, you will only close 25 to 30 percent of your contacts, because you will only close one personality type. But if you learn how to effectively work with all four personality types, you can conceivably close 100 percent of your contacts.

Rod Nichols