Top 100 Wanda's Quotes
#1. If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
#2. It really is, to see that this kind of music is still so popular.
Wanda Jackson
#3. I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
#4. Writing can make life enjoyable, write your dreams....
Wanda Smith
#5. Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.
Wanda Sykes
#6. I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
#7. I'll be writing as long as I can hold a pen in my curled, crimped arthritic hands and then I'll dictate it, if it comes to that. They'll have to pry my pen out of my cold, dead fingers - and even then, I'll fight 'em for it. Guaranteed.
Wanda Lea Brayton
#8. OTTO. Apes don't read philosophy.
WANDA. Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it.
John Cleese
#9. You could have a hit in California that no one had heard of in Oklahoma.
Wanda Jackson
#10. My truest desire is fellowship with good friends, the love of a caring family, and a close relationship with God.
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#11. Sleep deficit and an anemic pocketbook dictate my erratic lifestyle.
Wanda Coleman
#12. I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
Wanda Sykes
#13. Thanks, Jeb," Kyle said.
"Shut the hell up, Kyle. Just keep you fat mouth shut. I'm dead serious about shooting you, you worthless maggot.
Stephenie Meyer
#14. Ian squeezed my hand and leaned in to whisper through all the hair. His voice was so low that I was the only one who could hear. 'I held you in my hand, Wanderer. And you were so beautiful.
Stephenie Meyer
#15. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached.
Stephenie Meyer
#16. I never kissed a bear, I've never kissed a goon, but I can shake a chicken in the middle of a room.
Wanda Jackson
#17. The minute you become something they don't want to look at, they stop looking at you. It's that simple. You join the void. That much I'm sure of."
Ford, G.M. (2012-07-17). Who In Hell Is Wanda Fuca? (A Leo Waterman Mystery) (Kindle Locations 2431-2432). AmazonEncore. Kindle Edition.
G.M. Ford
#19. For the surface, I'm not interested in painterly convention. It's more interesting if it looks like it painted itself.
Wanda Koop
#20. But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
#21. What is behind you is forgotten. You can't remember danger and difficulty when it is behind you
Wanda Rutkiewicz
#22. All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
Wanda Sykes
#23. I'm very interested in how colour and shape are perceived.
Wanda Koop
#24. It's always better to be kind. I'm glad I know why. -Wanda
Stephenie Meyer
#25. I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
#26. If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Wanda Sykes
#27. I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
#28. Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do.
Wanda Sykes
#29. It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
#30. I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
#31. Avoid getting wrapped up in things - especially status purchases - as these often come at the expense of people and relationships.
Wanda Urbanska
#32. I learned so much about recording and about singing on records from Ken Nelson.
Wanda Jackson
#33. As if channeling Robbe-Grillet, who strove to establish 'new relations between man and the world,' Sesshu Foster's electrifying prose poems tenderly examine then fiercely weave stark-and-broken realities into luminous dream-like narratives on the game of life.
Wanda Coleman
#34. Many have referred to [Lewis] Carroll's rhymes as nonsense, but in my childhood world - Los Angeles in the '50s - they made perfect sense.
Wanda Coleman
#35. I know
Okay, Sorry. I am.
Look, I'm human. It's hard to be fair sometimes. We don't always feel the right thing, do the right thing
Stephenie Meyer
#36. Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
Wanda Sykes
#37. This was not just any urn. It was a cremation urn, housing the powdered remains of Mrs. Pule's mother Wanda, a woman so mean and nasty that she had it put in writing that upon her death she wished to be cremated and have her ashes scattered over people who had annoyed her.
Gerry Swallow
#38. Took out Skinny Minnie, Long Tall Sally, and Short Fat Fanny, but I'm kinda fonda Wanda.
Neil Young
#39. Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
Wanda Sykes
#40. Ready to be humiliated, Wanda?" Wes taunted. "You may have taken the planet, but you're losing this game.
Stephenie Meyer
#41. They're dressing like in the 50's when they come out to the shows, and many of them have vintage cars.
Wanda Jackson
#42. I don't understand why people really get upset about something that doesn't affect them at all.
Wanda Sykes
#43. If something pops in my mind and it's easy, I write it.
Wanda Jackson
#44. Woman's fatal weakness is to desire sympathy and comprehension.
Wanda
Ouida
#45. What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
Wanda Sykes
#46. There's an assumption that because I'm an artist, I've got all the time in the world.
Wanda Koop
#47. The house of the Lord doesn't filter out the flock - Wanda Lovell
Britney Spears
#48. You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
#49. I did films with Wanda Ventham, Benedict's mother, and we lived in the same area, in Kensington. So I'd be out with my pram and Wanda and I would be talking and there was poor little Benedict, who I suppose was about four, standing there while we were gossiping in the high street for hours!
Una Stubbs
#50. I can scare the pants off the holiest ghost.
Def Leppard
#51. I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
#52. There have never been so many women in the music industry, but they're doing ballads and pop. Where's the new Joan Jetts and the Wanda Jacksons and the Debbie Harrys, all these strong women? I wanna be the woman that rocks.
Imelda May
#53. And Dad's to celebrate Christmas Eve. It was going to be a happy time - her and Martin's first Christmas together. No! No! No!
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#54. When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
Wanda Sykes
#55. Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
#56. Investing in Chicago property is just Wanda's first move into the U.S. real estate market.
Wang Jianlin
#57. But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
#58. I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Wanda Sykes
#59. There are just so many more laws and rules that apply with marriage that do not come with domestic partnership and also to me it's the commitment.
Wanda Sykes
#60. So, it's nice to know that you've inspired someone to do their life's work.
Wanda Jackson
#61. And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
Wanda Sykes
#62. I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
Wanda Sykes
#63. I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
Wanda Sykes
#65. None of the other guys in the band really sang, so that's when I brought Roy Clark in.
Wanda Jackson
#66. We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I've told them, 'Mommy's boo-boo is much better now.'
Wanda Sykes
#67. I've come to realize that the only way to deal with life's problems is to walk close to the Lord.
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#68. You ever date a man that's so feminine you start to think you're a lesbian?
Wanda D. Hudson
#69. I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
Wanda Sykes
#71. I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
Wanda Sykes
#72. It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
#73. Sometimes black people really want to hold onto our oppression - 'This is ours! This belongs to us.' You can't just talk about equality for somebody else. Let's pass it on. Let's pass it on to somebody else. At the end of the day, it is all about inequality.
Wanda Sykes
#74. Life is full of disappointments, but we have to take some risks. None of us can predict the future, for only God knows what's to come.
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#75. It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
#76. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
#77. I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
Wanda Sykes
#78. He's a mean, mean man, but I love him all I can.
Wanda Jackson
#79. They're monsters."
"That's what Edward thought."
"Oh, yeah? He a friend of yours?"
"No, Miss Librarian. Just a main character in a wildly popular vampire series.
Shannon Delany
#80. No amount of money or recognition could fill the void in a person's heart the way Jesus' love did.
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#81. It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.
Wanda Sykes
#82. People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
Wanda Sykes
#83. Confession Who knows more of Wanda, the wan, than I do? And who knows more of Terry, the torn, than I do? And who knows more than I do of Ziggy, the Zap, fleeing the rap, using his eyes and teeth to spring the trap, than I do! Or did. Good Lord, forbid that morning's acre, held in the palm
James Baldwin
#84. I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
#85. The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
Wanda Sykes
#86. There's no single company in the whole world that has a big-scale production base and at the same time has screening and distribution channels. Wanda Group is the first one in the world.
Wang Jianlin
#87. If I did a talk show, this would allow me to speak on what's happening at that moment. I can be current, and I get to flex my stand-up muscle but stay at home without doing the traveling.
Wanda Sykes
#88. Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
Wanda Sykes
#89. If Wanda can control more than 20 per cent of the world's three most important film markets - the United States, Europe and China - then it will have an empire with great voice in the industry.
Wang Jianlin
#90. I'm shy. I am. I mean, if I get around, you know, in a room of a bunch of people especially I - you know, I don't know or - it takes me a while to warm up. I'm - and the real me, I'm not as witty as, you know, as the comic Wanda. The comic, she's had time to work on some things.
Wanda Sykes
#91. I feel today's society is so judgmental.
Wanda Sykes
#92. Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
Wanda Sykes
#94. You know, no one steered people's careers in those days, I don't think, like they do today.
Wanda Jackson
#95. So when you do your family tree and Margaret Cho does hers, and ... Wanda Sykes and John Legend ... we're adding to the database that scholars can then draw from to generalize about the complexity of the American experience. And that's the contribution that family trees make to broader scholarship.
Henry Louis Gates
#96. Wanda's sole interests are getting high and getting laid. I can't picture her wasting valuable stoner hours on murder.
Josh Lanyon
#97. Acquiring Sunseeker deepens Wanda's international influence and represents an important step forward for the development of the business.
Wang Jianlin
#98. You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.
Wanda Sykes
#99. She's her mother's daughter - full of courage, determination, and strength she doesn't even know she has.
Wanda E. Brunstetter
#100. I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.
Wanda Sykes
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