Vintage Humor Quotes

#1. I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield

#2. ... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines!

E.A. Bucchianeri

#3. I say, when you tell the truth, you never offend nobody, particularly if you do it with dignity.

Pat Cooper

#4. I was watching a collection of vintage '80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes.

Ernest Cline

#5. Classic of '43. Don't knock it. A Vintage year.

Keith Richards

#6. If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it's something we can all laugh at.

Tracy Morgan

#7. I started mountain-bike riding two years ago, which is much better than riding a stationary bike in the gym. Mountain biking is a total body workout.

Samantha Stosur

#8. But the absolute worst was when people asked if I was okay. Because then I had to admit that it was real, it happened, and we weren't together anymore.

Susane Colasanti

#9. And I'd have you know, through all of it, I still had perfect nails! Because I am completely swell.

Sarah Scheele

#10. Many in America, as one social historian wrote, 'believed implicitly that New York's social leaders went to bed in full evening dress, brushed their teeth in vintage champagne, married their daughters without exception to shady French counts, and arrayed their poodle dogs in diamond tiaras.' ...

Greg King

#11. It should be a crime to make a profit off somebody being sick.

Michael Moore

#12. To me, it didn't matter where I played, I just wanted to play well.

Ronnie Lott

#13. The tone of his remarks filled me with a burning desire to kick Mr. Horridge; but that being impracticable, I should certainly, if left to myself, have told him to go to the devil and forthwith walked out of the house.

R. Austin Freeman

#14. I dare anyone to find me a lovelier day!

Maud Casey

#15. It was crushingly disappointing as a fan of The Simpsons to discover that it's just you in a room speaking into a microphone. I thought I was going to become friends with Homer Simpson, but unfortunately none of them are real.

Russell Brand

#16. And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow.

Paul Simon

#17. The library was like a stone quarry where no rain had fallen in ten thousand years. Way off in that direction: silence. Way off in that direction: hush. It was the time between things finished and things begun. Nobody died here. Nobody was born. The library, and all its books, just were. We

Ray Bradbury

#18. I feel like comedy had a boys'-club label when we were starting.

Abbi Jacobson

#19. I'll email you, he says as if he's asking me into the cellar to taste his vintage champagne.

Poppet

#20. He cracked his crooked smile that made all women swoon except the ones who wanted to slap him. Faye was a fence-sitter on the subject.

Sarah Scheele

#21. Poetry must be human. If it is not human, it is not poetry.

Vicente Aleixandre

#22. Because women have been marginalised, they're more likely to behave like immigrants and continue to push themselves forward in order to avoid falling through the cracks, but I don't think a happy ending comes from matriarchy.

Hanna Rosin