Swatter Quotes

#1. The next person who tells me something like, "Squiggle-fuck the rightwise cock-swatter with a starboard jib," is going to get a knife to the throat.

Scott Lynch

#2. If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don't use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.

Ann Landers

#3. Teddy Roosevelt ... once said, 'Speak softly and carry a big stick.' Jimmy Carter wants to speak loudly and carry a fly swatter.

Gerald R. Ford

#4. You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

Jeff Foxworthy

#5. You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

Jeff Foxworthy

#6. The fly lands on the swatter.
The movie runs backwards
and catches fire in the projector.
This species apes us well
by talking only about itself

Billy Collins

#7. I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

Demetri Martin

#8. It is best not to swat at the fly's starting position, but rather to aim a bit forward of that to anticipate where the fly is going to jump when it first sees your swatter.

Michael Dickinson

#9. The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter.

Georg C. Lichtenberg

#10. The Doktor took a fly swatter and hit it hard. 'Bang!' it went. But it didn't go splat! The roach just shook its heads, hissed at him, and staggered off with two minor headaches.

Christina Engela

#11. The life of man in this world is like the life of a fly in a room filled with 100 boys, each armed with a fly-swatter.

H.L. Mencken

#12. The worst happens, and life still goes on.

Alan Weisman

#13. Our Christian enthusiasts are evidently too stupid, as well as too insecure, to appreciate this. A revealing mark of their insecurity is their rage when public places are not annually given over to religious symbolism, and now, their fresh rage when palaces of private consumption do not follow suit.

Christopher Hitchens

#14. The thing I always try to remember is that feet are attached to the leg, and that you must prolong the silhouette. The shoe elongates the leg and does it discreetly. The goal is to get people to look at a woman's legs. It's all about the leg. No, it's not about the leg. It's about the woman.

Christian Louboutin

#15. I do not love money to chase it.

Lailah Gifty Akita

#16. Sometimes you have to take a shot in the dark to discover the light.

A.D. Posey

#17. Many people use the word God to describe it; I often call it Being. The word Being explains nothing, but nor does God. Being, however, has the advantage that it is an open concept.

Eckhart Tolle

#18. It's a joyful, humbling feeling to be in different places around the planet, and people have seen shows that I'm proud of being a part of, that do have things to say about the human condition, the planet, and who we are and where we've come from, that will sustain.

Scott Bakula

#19. But that day Spot just sat in the tub and let me wash him. He never moved at all. I didn't like it. It was like . . . like washing meat

Stephen King

#20. Technology advances at exponential rates, and human institutions and societies do not. They adapt at much slower rates. Those gaps get wider and wider.

Mitch Kapor

#21. Candle needs darkness to show its talents. Good shines only beside the bad; it disappears when the bad disappears. Where there is no darkness, candle is forgotten.

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#22. You have to wait for people to program you. The only difference is the amount of people that you're going to reach but that's going to even out in the next two or three years anyway. Computers are being bought faster than televisions right now.

Chuck D

#23. During the desperate depression of the 1980s, there were no oil and gas companies without net operating losses.

George Kaiser

#24. How was it they had cut to Hollywood Boulevard for a fluff piece and ended up with Gangs of New-Fucking-York?! Bonnie looked to her co-Anchor. He was wearing a good mouth for cooling soup.

David Louden

#25. I like listening to my playlist on the iPod. I don't want radio with commercials.

Paul Dano

#26. The choice is not between violence and nonviolence but between nonviolence and nonexistence.

Martin Luther King Jr.