Top 100 Sloane Crosley Quotes

#1. As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #3434
#2. You just don't notice the time line of your own metamorphosis. Until you do.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #14646
#3. I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #38205
#4. Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members is in the shower. No one knows why.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #57341
#5. Our culture's obsession with vintage objects has rendered us unable to separate history from nostalgia. People want heart. They want a chaser of emotion with their aesthetics.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #72568
#6. It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #73708
#7. How can we not still be rooting for the younger versions of ourselves as if they actually exist, playing catch-up in time? Who wouldn't like to implant their current brains into a scenario from the past?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #75063
#8. Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #96325
#9. Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #97548
#10. The question is never "Should I be annoyed?" but "How annoyed should I be?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #106405
#11. I was the youngest of my entire family so you are tap-dancing to try to get the attention of your older cousins. I really hit my social stride in 6th grade, but before that I was a pretty big dork. You learn how to be amusing and how to work for it.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #106431
#12. Sometimes we don't know what we want until we don't get it.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #132579
#13. Why do people always want to put their hands on vulnerability? I sped up.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #152636
#14. I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #153153
#15. I don't understand how you can be a decent writer and not know people.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #168573
#16. People tend to be more tofu-like, able to absorb whatever environment they're dropped into. But where does the adaptability end and your actual personality begin?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #178903
#17. Extremists and their supports cause you to align yourself with something you're not in order to get as far away as possible from the something you're really not.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #184763
#18. There's just no concept of layering a thick-sleeved sweater under a coat in L.A. A coat is more of a gesture than a necessity. You know, in case the temperature goes down to 55 degrees.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #185092
#19. Were they making the Kool-Aid in breathable form these days?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #188153
#20. I write on weekends, on vacation, and, really - on deadline and on my floor. Both terrible for the back.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #212713
#21. Perhaps if I'd had God in my life growing up I would have been able to understand the total and complete unfairness of the universe rewarding mean girls

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #217585
#22. I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #224565
#23. I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #230278
#24. The way the floors of the library became progressively less social as you worked your way up. The first floor was a meat market. The top was monkish.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #243254
#25. In New York and L.A., there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something. You end up having a conversation with how the world receives your work, especially if you are writing narrative, not fiction. Sometimes it is an awkward conversation. It's like group therapy.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #255009
#26. For a long time I wanted to draw, but I could never get the proportions right. My still life sketches were the artistic equivalent of someone who has misjudged the space constraints of a postcard, the handwriting shrinking uncomfortably at the bottom.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #279103
#27. Everything in New York seems to merit preserving. If it's not historical, it's personal. If it's not personal, it's cultural. But you can't. You can't save everything. You just have to pack it up in your brain and take it with you when you go.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #317789
#28. I thought I was going to write fiction but I fell backwards into non-fiction. It started when I got locked out of two apartments in one day and I told the story to some friends, one of whom worked in the 'Village Voice' and asked me to turn it into an essay.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #330332
#29. Its remarkable the logic we build around a misapprehension.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #339103
#30. Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #362142
#31. In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #367267
#32. Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #377185
#33. Being a writer is an endless study in human transition and lessons learned or forgotten or misapplied.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #383275
#34. If I could just get my partner to see me how she used to - to fall in love with me all over again - everything would be okay. Every morning I would vow to work harder, and every morning something would go wrong.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #414099
#35. I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #414478
#36. When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn't exist, Elijah was God's invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon and If I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #417034
#37. I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #430048
#38. Claude handed her the bag. "Madeline, you seem interested in jewelry."
"I am," she said.
Was this not obvious? Why else would she be standing here?
"In which case, you should consider a career in jewelry.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #440582
#39. Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I'm always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off one's glasses during the day and, as I have grown older, what I don't see has become increasingly pronounced.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #450202
#40. Personal technology has given us the freedom of being able to do whatever we want - and in the case of celebrities and athletes, whomever they want. But it can also serve as a humiliation jetpack.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #450606
#41. Some of the writers I admire who seem very, very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind, as does David Sedaris. When they write, the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #474958
#42. The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it's a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled, life-or-death situation and their fundamental behaviours are exposed, the scrim is taken away and the motivations behind each personality come out to play.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #480058
#43. I felt like I wasn't doing justice to either side of my life. It wasn't pronounced. Publicity is an awkward thing to do. It is awkward to call people up all the time and ask them for things on a very basic level.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #490828
#44. And some of the people i knew were contemplating our circumstances. our circumstances being poorly paid jobs if we worked in the arts, two hours of sleep if we worked in money, and a newfound sense of intellectual inferiority if we worked in publishing.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #492175
#45. I have never pictured my own wedding. I do want to get married. I think it's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos
you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of your life..

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #493860
#46. No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #504163
#47. I love giving people advice on what to do with their books, but I don't really know how a Kindle Single gets covered.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #505519
#48. Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #508329
#49. The last thing we wanted to do was offend you."
"The last thing you wanted was for me to take offense.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #518873
#50. Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #532448
#51. I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesn't plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: I've never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #543118
#52. I definitely rediscovered reading for pleasure by devoting such a large swath of my time to sitting on airplanes. I am now painfully adept at removing my shoes so as to have the least amount of foot surface area touching an airport floor.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #555829
#53. I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #573238
#54. Going to a museum is one of those inexplicably tiring things. You're not actually doing anything, more shifting your weight from room to room than walking. And yet it is one of the more tiring things one can do, no matter how thrilled you are by the exhibits.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #603312
#55. The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I'd write if I didn't have to worry about offending.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #607292
#56. I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot's body.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #609459
#57. The "pass" was a normal-sized key with a wooden block the size of a brick attached to it. This was meant to broadcast the administration's lack of faith in our ability to hold on to small objects.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #624499
#58. I need new ones of these. Victor pushed his glasses up the Sisyphean slope of his nose.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #669615
#59. I find that anything culturally significant that happened before '93 I associate with the decade before it. In fact, Oregon Trail is one of a handful of signposts that middle school existed at all.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #681518
#60. You should never wear anything you can't afford to lose.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #683081
#61. After a breakup, I'll conduct the normal breakup rituals. I'll cut up photographs, erase voice mails, gather his dark concert T-shirts I once slept in and douse them with bleach before I use them to clean my bathtub.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #709586
#62. There's already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk - except they all apply to you, and all at once.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #727015
#63. It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #739612
#64. My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #740917
#65. Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #759810
#66. I am starting to like L.A., but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn't have to acclimatize as much as I did to L.A.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #763886
#67. My A-number one visceral fear is speed. More than knives or snakes or confined spaces. Speed. I won't even go on a motor boat if I can help it.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #789872
#68. It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #796244
#69. I am the proud indentured servant of a brilliant art adviser who may or may not have purposely stapled my index finger to a manila folder

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #798405
#70. You can't fall away from something if you were never there in the first place. It's the difference between jumping off a cliff and passing out where you stand.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #800880
#71. I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #831587
#72. A lot of people are lonely. A lot of people are lonely even when they're surrounded by other people.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #835252
#73. As we grow up, it feels like you should either invite people into your life or not. There should be fewer and fewer instances of friends you 'can only take in small doses.'

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #875625
#74. Normally, I am a vocal advocate for 'looking both ways' and 'knowing the size of one's own body.' But working, socialising and simply running errands in Manhattan, means I am bound to break my own rules on occasion.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #904688
#75. A human being can spend only so much time outside her comfort zone before she realizes she is still tethered to it.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #910806
#76. But now my problems had been set loose. They could be anywhere at any time and I was just like everyone else I knew: almost positive that there was something profoundly and undiagnosably wrong with me.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #913310
#77. Americans love that, no? To think of jewelry as a dead thing. This is why you keep the Hope Diamond next to your dinosaur bones.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #925539
#78. I think the rule of thumb should be this: if you preface a sentence about a friend with the phrase, 'I love X, but ... ' more than once in any conversation, you should stop hanging out with them.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #940905
#79. Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #949359
#80. I think husbands are like tattoos
you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of your life instead of just wandering into a tattoo parlor on some idle Sunday and saying, 'I feel like I should have one of these suckers by now.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #955756
#81. People who just had sex had an annoying habit of assuming everyone around them had just had sex. Which was also, coincidentally, what people who were not having sex assumed.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #977012
#82. The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with the next thing one sees, one generally does.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #984857
#83. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #984898
#84. It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #993145
#85. [He] is the worst kind of asshole they make - the kind who is completely oblivious to how he sounds, the kind who is impossible to argue with because he doesn't allow for a worldview outside of his own.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1003434
#86. Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1027988
#87. There are little elements in a person's life, minor fibers that become unintentionally tangled with our personality. Sometimes it's a patent phrase, sometimes it's a perfume, sometimes it's a wristwatch.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1028682
#88. When you have a steady and lifelong group of girlfriends, chances are the person you're telling the story to is actually part of the story.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1060964
#89. I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1069571
#90. The mortality rate among sea horses is not to be believed. Because the difference between a dead sea horse and a living sea horse is imperceptible, selling dead sea horses would make a very good pet store scam.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1072224
#91. Because this is the beauty of strangers: we're all just doing our best to help each other out, motivated not by karma but by a natural instinct to help the greater whole.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1085208
#92. Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1090373
#93. I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1097085
#94. Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One mathematically insignificant day, you stop hoping for happiness and become actually happy.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1097875
#95. I thought of the past and how one should have respect for it, like the elderly.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1110460
#96. There's an 'Everything must go!' emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn't there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we're not 'ready?' You don't feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1114138
#97. The good news was that "biology" turned out to be the magic password for working at the Museum of Natural History, just the way "art history" would at the Met or "trust fund" at the MoMA.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1119335
#98. Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1121023
#99. I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1141334
#100. It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.

Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley Quotes #1154814

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