Series Of Unfortunate Quotes

#1. There's a series of children's books called A Series of Unfortunate Events, which is like an incredibly dark version of Roald Dahl. I hope to start directing it.

Barry Sonnenfeld

#2. At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.

Lemony Snicket

#3. Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword
Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

Lemony Snicket

#4. In any case, this is how all our stories begin, in darkness with our eyes closed, and all our stories end the same way, too, with all of us uttering some last words - or perhaps someone else's - before slipping back into darkness as our series of unfortunate events comes to an end.

Lemony Snicket

#5. But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter. A series of unfortunate events can happen to anyone, no matter what they want.

Lemony Snicket

#6. Those two Quagmires will whisk and whisk until they are simply whisked away.

Lemony Snicket

#7. They are stupid, aren't they?" Dr. Orwell agreed, as though they were talking about the weather instead of insulting young children.

Lemony Snicket

#8. Hello?" Violet said finally.
The telephone said nothing.
"Hello?" Violet said again. "Hello? Hello?"
The telephone did not answer.

Lemony Snicket

#9. Listen to this, Sunny," she said, when her sister opened her eyes. "'Once a subject has been hypnotized, a simple hmmm word will make him or her perform whatever hmmm acts any hmmm wants hmmmed.'"
"Hmmm?" Sunny asked.
"Those are the words I don't know" Violet explained.

Lemony Snicket

#10. The accident," she said finally, "happened because Klaus was hypnotized."
"What your brother does for a hobby is none of my concern," Sir said.

Lemony Snicket

#11. Tra la la, Fiddle dee dee,
Hope you get well soon.
Ho ho ho, hee hee hee,
Have a heart-shaped balloon.

Lemony Snicket

#12. -the phrase "lion's share" here means "the biggest part" and has nothing to do with lions or sharing-

Lemony Snicket

#13. Life is a conundrum of esoterica.

Lemony Snicket

#14. As I'm sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we're doing.

Lemony Snicket

#15. What are your names?"
"You know our names," Violet said curtly, a word which here means "tired of Count Olaf's nonsense." "That wig and that lipstick don't fool us any more than your pale-brown dress and sensible beige shoes. You're Count Olaf.

Lemony Snicket

#16. I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

Lemony Snicket

#17. Hee hee hee!" Nero said. "You children are like three clowns!"
"Ho ho ho!" Count Olaf said.
"Ha ha ha!" Violet said, who was beginning to feel queasy from faking all this laughter.

Lemony Snicket

#18. You're not a receptionist!" Violet cried.
"I certainly am," Shirley said. "I'm a poor receptionist who lives all by herself, and who wants very much to raise children of her own. Three children, in fact: a smartypants little girl, a hypnotized little boy, and a buck-toothed baby.

Lemony Snicket

#19. But that battered word, truth, having made its appearance here, confronts one immediately with a series of riddles and has, moreover, since so many gospels are preached, the unfortunate tendency to make one belligerent.

James Baldwin

#20. What can I do?" Klaus asked.
"You can pray this works," Violet said, but the Baudelaire sisters were so quick with their tasks that there was no time for even the shortest of religious ceremonies.

Lemony Snicket

#21. ...bravery often demands a price.

Lemony Snicket

#22. Count Olaf: You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family.
Violet: We didn't lose our family. Only our parents.

Lemony Snicket

#23. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do.

Lemony Snicket

#24. Their adventure would be exciting and memorable lie being chased by a werewolf through a field of thorny bushes at midnight with nobody around to help you.

Lemony Snicket

#25. The Suitors Ball is fast approaching and it's a nasty reminder that my suitor will be chosen shortly. I feel sorry for the poor unfortunate guy, whichever one of them it happens to be.

Siobhan Davis

#26. I'm afraid the engine is quite dead," Mr. Poe called out.
"And before long," Stephano muttered to the children, "you will be too."
"I'm sorry," Mr. Poe said. "I couldn't hear you.

Lemony Snicket

#27. Velocity!" Sunny shrieked.
I know we have to hurry!" Klaus cried.

Lemony Snicket

#28. Is the elevator out of order?" Violet asked. "I'm very good with mechanical devices, and I'd be happy to take a look at it."
"That's a very kind and unusual offer," the doorman said.

Lemony Snicket

#29. When you have only know someone for a few hours it is difficult to now what they would like to hear.

Lemony Snicket

#30. Life is a series of decisions that cuts off infinite possibilities at every turn. Most people look at that as a sad unfortunate fact of life. Successful people see it as a source of tremendous power.

Mark Joyner

#31. But that's another error in the note," Klaus said. "It doesn't say unbearable, with a U. It says inbearable, with an I."
"You are being unbearable, with a U," Violet cried.
"And you are being stupid, with an S," Klaus snapped.

Lemony Snicket

#32. Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.

Lemony Snicket

#33. Inside these letters, the eye will see
Nearby are your friends, and VFD.

Lemony Snicket

#34. Aunt Josephine had been so careful to avoid anything that she thought might harm her, but harm had still come her way.

Lemony Snicket

#35. I'll tell you why I'm Shirley," Count Olaf said. "I'm Shirley because I would like to be called Shirley, and it is impolite not to do so.

Lemony Snicket

#36. But happy moments came rarely and unexpectedly in the Baudelaires' lives, and the three siblings had learned to accept them.

Lemony Snicket

#37. The next name on the list is Ed Valiantbrue, which doesn't have an O in it anyway."
"O!" Sunny shrieked.
"O!" Klaus agreed.
"O!" Sunny insisted.
"Oh!" Klaus cried. "I see what you mean! If it doesn't have am O in it, it can't be an anagram of Violet Baudelaire.

Lemony Snicket