Top 37 Scifi Humor Quotes
#1. Frankie runs a sex moon and has kids. My head hurts just thinking about it. You still keep up with her, too, then?"
Ryelle's face took on a hunted expression. "She sends me coupons, Declan.
Michelle O'Leary
#3. Goodnight baby, sleep in peace. After you kill that bitch!"
"Goodnight mom!
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#4. Don't worry about it. If I'm wrong, Security is monitoring me every second."
"That just means they'll know who to charge with your murder," said Forrice.
"Are you always this optimistic?"
"I have to be an optimist," explained Forrice. "I won't have anyone to tease if they kill you.
Mike Resnick
#5. Is this neuro-bot really supposed to be her, this creature, this thing, compiled of the ghosts of human data, the replicas of their past?
Bremer Acosta
#6. She feels a little sad. Is she sad? Helen considers an alternative: She is dehydrated.
Meg Howrey
#7. Oh get over it Cecilia! You are no longer human. Such decorum doesn't exist amongst our kind
Eve Masters
#8. ...You can always tell a Party Girl by her foot tattoo...
Inejiro Koizumi
#10. Ari to Fleur:
"I made plans for your glorious self."
"Do they require nudity?"
"Extensive. Prolonged."
Fleur's smile was so wide he thought her jaw must hurt.
Patricia A. Knight
#11. My whore of a brother has done it again." "Then, as always, orders me to clean up the mess." "I think I hate him." Poseidon to his brother, Zeus.
Yelle Hughes
#12. Hey this is terrific!" Zaphod said. "Someone down there is trying to kill us!
Douglas Adams
#13. The Chairman glared across three hundred and eighty thousand kilometers of space at Conrad Taylor, who reluctantly subsided, like a volcano biding its time.
Arthur C. Clarke
#14. They left Puonvangi at the 303rd in the company of a riotous party of Binlisi conventioneers. The Birilisi were an avian species and much given to excessive narcoticism; they and Puonvangi were guaranteed to get on. There was much fluttering.
Iain M. Banks
#15. We always had the greatest arguments over sex and fishing.
Douglas Adams
#16. Your hair is like butterflies," Sebastian said, giggling like a child.
"That's nice," Firen said impatiently. "Keep moving."
"Fantastic. I always like my days better with a touch of insanity," Gabriella quipped.
Laura Kreitzer
#17. May they run free forever and grow back their limbs!
Henry Mosquera
#18. Gabrielle chuckled, her dark eyes twinkling. "So he's been after you, has he? Poor Etta, pursued by a sun priest offering to pleasure - "
"Every nook and cranny," Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.
Michelle O'Leary
#19. Feeling extremely foolish, the acting representative of Homo sapiens watched his First Contact stride away across the Raman plain, totally indifferent to his presence.
Arthur C. Clarke
#20. The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams
#21. They're only askin' you to do one thing. From what Rogue says, you ain't exactly reluctant."
"F**k myself into a coma. Sure, I can do that. Then what?"
"Uh, wait an hour?
Michelle O'Leary
#22. The only thing altruism will get you here is a boot stomping on your head.
Henry Mosquera
#23. I'm not bipolar, I've just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.
Daniel O'Malley
#24. SciFi: When there's a serious problem and everyone decides to solve it sensibly.
Elaine Greywalker
#25. You know what, Michael? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship of loathing.
Meinos Kaen
#26. Solutions sometimes present themselves after a reset.
Les Lynam
#27. Slowly, Jimmy held up his outstretched hands. Men had been arguing for two hundred years about this gesture; would every creature, everywhere in the universe, interpret this as "See
no weapons"? But no one could think of anything better.
Arthur C. Clarke
#28. Three more awards received in 2017
Gold for Seb Cage Begins His Adventures
Gold for The Time Slipsters
Silver for The Deaduction Agency
Terry Tumbler
#29. This is the Rock, sweetheart," the owner added. "There's no tragedy you can't profit from.
Henry Mosquera
#30. I think we have different value systems." - Arthur
"Well mine's better." - Ford
Douglas Adams
#31. Drainage tubes ran out of his belly and side, and there was a catheter the size of a pencil coming out his penis. Nothing particularly hurt, so he had to assume he was on pretty nearly all the narcotics there were.
James S.A. Corey
#32. This world was no place for anyone with access to another.
Joe Haldeman
#33. What's with savage humans always wanting to cannibalize us?" Jaden asks as she runs past Summer to check for any more of the Tainted around the corner.
"They want to suck your blood," Rob says in a Romanian accent.
Jaden snorts. Too bad humor won't help them out of this mess.
Laura Kreitzer
#34. ORN!" Variel shouted.
"Yeah yeah, kill us all. I got it," the dwarf grumbled.
Sabrina Zbasnik
#35. Gods take whoever designed this crawlspace and jam them inside a sardine can. Then put that sardine can inside a pill box and shoot both into a black hole. Ugh, and I am having a very long discussion with Orn and his habit of throwing old candy sticks through the grates!
Sabrina Zbasnik
#36. Traveling through space is for the birds. I'm bored ... should've brought the wife.
Poseidon, the Okeanos Pantheon.
Yelle Hughes
#37. It looks like you are trying to escape utter annihilation. Would you like some assistance?" - WEST
Sabrina Zbasnik
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
