Top 100 Quotes About Ogden Nash: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Ogden Nash

#1. To keep one's marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up. - Ogden Nash

Meg Cabot

#2. I have an idea that the phrase "the weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. - OGDEN NASH

Daniel G. Amen

#3. Where there is a monster, the wise American poet Ogden Nash told us, there is a miracle.

Neil Gaiman

#4. When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
~ Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

#5. Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.

Ogden Nash

#6. Hark to the sky of a seagull!
He cries because he's not an eagle.
Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull?
What would you say to your she-gull?

Ogden Nash

#7. The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Ogden Nash

#8. There was a young man of Herne Bay
who was making some fireworks one day:
but he dropped his cigar
in the gunpowder jar.
There was a young man of Herne Bay.

Ogden Nash

#9. Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children.

Ogden Nash

#10. I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Ogden Nash

#11. Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.

Ogden Nash

#12. I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues.

Ogden Nash

#13. Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Ogden Nash

#14. A Caution to Everybody
consider the Auk.
Becoming extinct before because he forgot out to fly and could only walk.
Consider Man, who may well become extinct,
Because he forgot how to walk and learned to fly before he thinked.

Ogden Nash

#15. Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature ... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.

Ogden Nash

#16. Senescence begins
And middle-age ends
The day your descendants
Outnumber your friends

Ogden Nash

#17. A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Ogden Nash

#18. Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.

Ogden Nash

#19. Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

Ogden Nash

#20. Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

Ogden Nash

#21. I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?

Ogden Nash

#22. The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Ogden Nash

#23. Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

Ogden Nash

#24. Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

Ogden Nash

#25. Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures
take them, George, they're yours!

Ogden Nash

#26. He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.

Ogden Nash

#27. I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Ogden Nash

#28. Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.

Ogden Nash

#29. When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

Ogden Nash

#30. Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren't consumeful or produceful..

Ogden Nash

#31. Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

Ogden Nash

#32. Miranda in Miranda's sight is old, gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty.

Ogden Nash

#33. Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

Ogden Nash

#34. To love is an active verb.

Ogden Nash

#35. The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder.

Ogden Nash

#36. The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Ogden Nash

#37. When I ponder my mind I consistently find It is glued On food.

Ogden Nash

#38. Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Ogden Nash

#39. To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Ogden Nash

#40. Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Ogden Nash

#41. Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Ogden Nash

#42. There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Ogden Nash

#43. A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Ogden Nash

#44. Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Ogden Nash

#45. I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Ogden Nash

#46. Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Ogden Nash

#47. Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.

Ogden Nash

#48. Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

Ogden Nash

#49. The oboe's a horn made of wood.
I'd play you a tune if I could,
But the reeds are a pain,
And the fingering's insane.
It's the ill wind that no one blows good.

Ogden Nash

#50. There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful,
And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Ogden Nash

#51. A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash

#52. It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,
That all sin is divided into two parts.
One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very
important

Ogden Nash

#53. How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Ogden Nash

#54. Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Ogden Nash

#55. He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

Ogden Nash

#56. I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.

Ogden Nash

#57. All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Ogden Nash

#58. A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.

Ogden Nash

#59. Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

Ogden Nash

#60. Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

Ogden Nash

#61. The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Ogden Nash

#62. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Ogden Nash

#63. Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.

Ogden Nash

#64. Home is heaven and orgies are vile,
But I like an orgy, once in a while.

Ogden Nash

#65. Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Ogden Nash

#66. The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.

Ogden Nash

#67. Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup; I So, presently, must I.

Ogden Nash

#68. The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!

Ogden Nash

#69. How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

Ogden Nash

#70. We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.

Ogden Nash

#71. God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

Ogden Nash

#72. I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

Ogden Nash

#73. Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

Ogden Nash

#74. Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Ogden Nash

#75. Celery, raw,
Develops the jaw

Ogden Nash

#76. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Ogden Nash

#77. They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

Ogden Nash

#78. No, you never get any fun
Out of the things you haven't done.

Ogden Nash

#79. One rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it/Never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

Ogden Nash

#80. Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

Ogden Nash

#81. I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Ogden Nash

#82. Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.

Ogden Nash

#83. I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Ogden Nash

#84. Too much Chablis can make you whablis.

Ogden Nash

#85. I am tarred and feathered with Time.

Ogden Nash

#86. Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.

Ogden Nash

#87. Don't Cry Darling, It's Blood All Right

Ogden Nash

#88. I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

Ogden Nash

#89. Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.

Ogden Nash

#90. Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Ogden Nash

#91. Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

Ogden Nash

#92. And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

Ogden Nash

#93. Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.

Ogden Nash

#94. Either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you to the butcher tomorrow

Ogden Nash

#95. At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station
And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Ogden Nash