Top 100 Quotes About Klune
#1. I thought I was mad, but I also thought I was really turned-on.
T.J. Klune
#2. There is beauty in the written word.'
-Kevin
T.J. Klune
#3. You follow your heart because one day, it'll lead you home.
T.J. Klune
#4. I'm a dragon, and maybe if you're lucky, I'll be dragon my balls across your face later.
T.J. Klune
#5. I want Otter to run back to San Diego and go back to the stupid fucking boyfriend, who Ive never met but cannot stand.
T.J. Klune
#7. He was hard lines, chiseled flesh, bronzed skin. I was a marshmallow melting in a cup of cocoa.
T.J. Klune
#8. I squeeze his hand and give him fifteen words that mean everything. It's okay to sleep now, Dad. I know that one day, we'll be together again.
T.J. Klune
#9. We crashed and collided in ways I didn't think were possible between two people. If I wasn't careful, I was going to be in over my head before I realized what was happening.
T.J. Klune
#10. Please just let me have you. Please. Nothing else matters if I can't have you.
T.J. Klune
#11. Why is everyone being all quiet?" the Kid asks. "Are we having a staring contest? If so, you should have told me because I wasn't quite ready yet.
T.J. Klune
#12. I was too busy writing sad ballads to unrequited love in my head and planning a life where my hand would be my boyfriend.
T.J. Klune
#13. Mom said, He didn't want to sleep with you so he knocked you through a building? That's rude. He could have just moved on.
T.J. Klune
#14. How is that weird?" Dark the First asked incredulously. "Literally everyone does it. Literally."
"I really wish you'd stop saying literally," Dark the Second said. "I literally don't think you understand what that word means.
T.J. Klune
#15. Someone, my mother had said. Make someone very happy. Not a her. But someone. I
T.J. Klune
#16. How do I look?" Gary asked, posing obscenely.
T.J. Klune
#17. Fifteen-year-old Sam had seen twenty-year-old Ryan for the first time and had immediately run upstairs and jerked off. It had been a revolutionary and enlightening experience that essentially answered the question that yes, I was indeed very, very gay.
T.J. Klune
#18. The unicorn stared at him. Then, "Gary." "Your name is Gary," Sam said. "Yes." "Ah. That's ... not very unicorn-like." Gary scowled. "And what is unicorn-like?" Sam shrugged. "I don't know. Like Princess Moon Cloud or Ethereal Tear or Star Shine.
T.J. Klune
#19. I can't do this anymore, I think, my own voice almost lost in the storm. I can't do this anymore. I can't face this on my own. I am drowning in this river and I am haunted in this house my father built and my mind is breaking.
T.J. Klune
#20. I don't think this is working out between us," I told him. "You and I want different things. It's not me, it's you.
T.J. Klune
#21. Honey bear," the unicorn said. "You are the gayest thing I've seen since I last saw my own reflection.
T.J. Klune
#22. Me and Seven, I thought as I arched my back. Me and Seven, that's all there is. That's all there needs to be. He kissed me sweetly as his hips rolled forward, and his breath became fire in my mouth.
T.J. Klune
#23. I realized that I love him pure and simple. It's not a matter of logic or function. It's a matter of my heart.
T.J. Klune
#24. I MADE Gordo drop the wards around the house and the Bennetts came over for dinner at our house one Sunday. At first, he refused. "It's not safe." I said, "I belong to a pack of overprotective werewolves who live next door. I'm pretty sure I couldn't be safer." "Christ,
T.J. Klune
#25. It's always the ones who are the quietest who often have the greatest things to say.
T.J. Klune
#26. And yours is brown. Like bear-shit brown. Or maybe otter shit. Or maybe bear and otter shit combined.
T.J. Klune
#27. 'There's a seagull eating our food,' he told me, and it was the most romantic thing I'd ever heard.
T.J. Klune
#28. Sometimes I think I like you," Gus said. "And then you talk or breathe or exist and I'm not so sure.
T.J. Klune
#29. Because you love me," I said, sounding smug.
"More like you grew on me," he said. "Like fungus.
T.J. Klune
#30. It's not about where you come from. It's about who you are
T.J. Klune
#31. This boy, this man was the sun, bright and all-consuming. The animal in me roared to be freed. Elizabeth Bennett whispered, "Go." I went. I
T.J. Klune
#32. If we wanted to hear from someone, we wrote a letter and got a response in three months. That was considered fast. Now, everyone is all about now, now, now.
T.J. Klune
#33. Yeah, the only thing I'm sure of right now is that I'm about to fucking freak.
T.J. Klune
#34. If God is real, I think he might be some kind of masochist. I imagine he sits there up on his cloud, long white robes flowing, drinking a forty of Mickey's and smoking a Winston as he flips me the bird and plans what he'll do next to piss me off.
T.J. Klune
#35. LOL. Wuteva. "What the hell does that mean?" Gus asked. "Lawl? Lole? I don't speak youth!
T.J. Klune
#36. It's nice, but it's also getting to the point where if they keep swooning into each other's eyes, we're all going to drown in their saccharine sweetness as rainbows fly out their butts.
T.J. Klune
#37. Never again, you hear me? Never again. Something happens, you tell me. I need you to tell me. I need you.
T.J. Klune
#38. Otter! Otter! Otter!
Don't lead cows to slaughter!
I love you, and I know
I should've told you soon-a
But you didn't buy the dolphin-safe tuna!
T.J. Klune
#39. Then it was just the two of us. Me and Captain Hetero of the Straight Brigade.
T.J. Klune
#40. After all, one does not scream at lesbians in Doc Martens unless one wants to receive a penis kicking.
T.J. Klune
#41. Once something is shattered, it can never be put back together in its original shape. Undoubtedly some pieces are lost or fit into incorrect places. The whole will never be as strong as it was once before.
T.J. Klune
#42. I would let you stay the night and then have you for breakfast, Gary said.
T.J. Klune
#43. I just like looking at nice things. And want to touch them with my mouth.
T.J. Klune
#44. It'll be the Date to End All Dates," I told Gary as he nosed his way through my closet. "And yes, before you ask, it is capitalized just like it sounds. Great plans should always be capitalized.
T.J. Klune
#45. I want to court your son." "What does that mean?" she asked. "It means I want to provide for him to prove my worth," Joe said. "And then, once he agrees to be mine, I'll mount him and then bite him and everyone will see that we belong to each other." I
T.J. Klune
#46. He gave me a lot, but it would have never been enough." He looks thoughtful as he gazes back down at me. "It would never have been enough," he tells me," because it would never have been you
T.J. Klune
#47. I seem to suffer from a very serious condition called obliviousness by proximity. It causes screaming and the occasional uncontrollable need to stomp stupid wizards for being stupid.
T.J. Klune
#48. Monsters are real. Magic is real. The world is a dark and frightening place and it's all real.
T.J. Klune
#49. My future," Joe said, "is Ox." Ah god, that made me ache. "Is that so?" Mom asked. "How do you figure?" "He's really nice," Joe said seriously. "And smells good. And he makes me happy. And I want to do nothing more than put my mouth on him." "Ah
T.J. Klune
#50. That's not the question you should be asking, though, if this is a dream. The question you should be asking is what you're going to do now? Because you're awake?
T.J. Klune
#51. And I'm a Foxy Lady," Tina said. "Because of reasons." She stared at his chest. Everyone understood her reasons. Even me.
T.J. Klune
#52. But then they threatened Ryan with death and I was, like, bitch, please. You don't know who you're messing with.
T.J. Klune
#53. 'I believe that you will never know victory because you already assume you have it. And that, my son, will be your undoing.' He's still smiling when the gray-eyed man shoots him in the head.
T.J. Klune
#54. I look like a gay Mormon missionary," he lamented in the mirror. "Pardon me, have you heard the word of the Lord? It's fabulous!" He
T.J. Klune
#55. Well. This has been erotic. Enlightening. Gods, this is enlightening. Like eye-opening. Nothing else!
T.J. Klune
#56. I googled "what to do when your future werewolf mate/boyfriend/best friend courts you and brings you a dead rabbit." First, there was a lot of porn. Then I found a recipe for Maltese rabbit stew. It was delicious. The stew, not the porn. The porn was weird. GORDO
T.J. Klune
#57. Are you trying to protect me?" I asked, starting to get slightly pissed. "Dude. Knock it off. You're not my knight in shining armor. You're a dick in dented tin.
T.J. Klune
#58. Wait till it's my turn to tell the story! They'll be like 'Bear who?
T.J. Klune
#59. Life is all about chances. It's all about these little moments that add up to greatness. And there are times when you have to grab greatness by the balls and say, 'Hey! Greatness! I've got your nuts and you can't do a single godsdamn thing about it!
T.J. Klune
#60. Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn't think that was proper etiquette while being held prisoner by the Dark Woods fairies.
T.J. Klune
#61. I'm sorry. Were you just speaking to me? I apologize most profusely. I was distracted by the size of the sweat stains under your arms. Are you overly warm today? It seems unlikely given the cold, dead heart that surely beats in your chest.
T.J. Klune
#62. Honey, you're pouting. That's not dangerous. It's adorable.
T.J. Klune
#63. How do you say what's in your heart if your heart is something you haven't known for years? How do you give yourself completely when all you've done is bury yourself in grief? How do you come back from the dar when it's all you can remember?
T.J. Klune
#64. The color of your dress really brings out the extraordinary paleness of your skin tone. Are you unwell? Dying, perhaps?
T.J. Klune
#65. I couldn't even begin to guess how old he was. Maybe thirty. Or three hundred. When you're eleven, anyone older is just old.
T.J. Klune
#66. There is beauty in the written word,
T.J. Klune
#67. Anyway," I said loudly. "Are we good? Did the Priest give us enough hoodoo so we can get the fu - fudge out? Sorry, Father."
"It's okay," the priest assured me. "I'm pretty sure your soul is already doomed.
T.J. Klune
#68. So he pressed his forehead against mine and breathed me in and there was that sun, okay? That sun between us, that bond that burned and burned and burned because he'd given it to me. Because he'd chosen me. And I got to choose him back.
T.J. Klune
#69. Sometimes I float along the river
For its surface I am bound
And there are times stones done fill my pockets
And it's into this river I drown
T.J. Klune
#70. Joe arched an eyebrow at me, leaning against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest, muscles bulging from the residual pull of the moon. He was beautiful because he was Joe. He was beautiful because he was mine. "Hey,
T.J. Klune
#71. Way gay," I reassured him. "Like, super gay. I fart and rainbows come out." Oh, crap.
T.J. Klune
#72. Dammit. I hate it when my crazy is right.
T.J. Klune
#73. How would it feel to live a full life and have no one remember it, to have no one remember the extraordinary things you accomplished, even if it was just waking up every day and finding the courage to get out of bed?
T.J. Klune
#74. Can you sign something?" Nicole demanded. "This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.
T.J. Klune
#75. A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There's nothing subtle here." "Couldn't
T.J. Klune
#76. Ryan said, What the hell? Does everything want to have sex with you?
T.J. Klune
#77. I'll never understand why people just won't let others be who they are. It's not like it's affecting them in any way
T.J. Klune
#78. We'll count it, even if it's so incredibly gay that it should come with its own packet of fairy dust that you could sprinkle in the air when you say it.
T.J. Klune
#79. Otter pulls me up to the bar and leans over. "What's wrong? You stink!"
he shouts.
I glare at him. "I smell fine, you asshole. I used your cologne."
He rolls his eyes and comes closer, his lips against my ear. I shiver. "I
said, what do you want to drink?
T.J. Klune
#80. I didn't want to go to my room. I wanted to go see Gary and bitch and moan and braid his mane and have him tell me that Justin was a giant cockfucker and I was so much prettier than him.
T.J. Klune
#81. The world is on fire, I thought wildly. See it burn and oh, my God, it burns for us.
T.J. Klune
#82. So I said, "Goddammit," and hugged it out with the both of them, because feelings.
T.J. Klune
#83. 'I wish someone had told you that you're a terrible liar so I wouldn't have to be the first one. I feel bad now.'
T.J. Klune
#84. You can only get knocked down so many times before you start shying away from a raised hand, even if it's extended in kindness.
T.J. Klune
#85. A travesty of epic proportions," Tock agreed. "How much you wanna bet they couldn't even turn the computer on?
T.J. Klune
#86. Whatever. I was tired and just rolled over onto his arm in my sleep. It's no big deal. Who cares, anyway? So what if Creed had seen us? What, he would have called us a bunch of fags? It's not like we were doing anything. Otter's not like that. Im not like that. It was an accident.
T.J. Klune
#87. Felix's beauty devastates him, annihilates every fiber of his being, and the voices shout in his head, they sing to him until he thinks his head will split.
T.J. Klune
#88. So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did.
T.J. Klune
#89. No cursing," I scolded him. "You're a knight. You don't get to do that. You gave up that right when you swore your oath to the King. You have to lead by example now. So say stuff like 'fudge toast' and 'mothercrackers' instead of 'shit whore' and 'fuck storm.
T.J. Klune
#90. I don't have time for all the relations and courting and wooing bullshit," I said. "I'm a wizard. I have quests."
"Uh, you're an apprentice," Gary said. "And you're sent on errands.
T.J. Klune
#91. I bet he wants to solve Ryan's riddle," Mary said. "And then he probably wants to riddle his Ryan.
T.J. Klune
#92. Take your pick. It literally could be any one of those things and many, many more. It's hard to live a morally good life when you have a propensity for shenanigans.
T.J. Klune
#93. It doesn't matter. I've moved on from something that was never there to begin with. That's one of the dire things about escaping from childhood. Eventually you grow up and realize the things you wanted when you were young weren't really yours to ask for.
I know that now.
T.J. Klune
#94. A simple hello could lead to a million things. "Yeah," Gus said. "Like herpes or getting fisted.
T.J. Klune
#95. 'There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. There's no reason for you to do it to yourself.'
T.J. Klune
#96. Pfft," I scoffed. "Feelings. I don't have feelings." I had so many feelings. None of them were good.
T.J. Klune
#97. It was just me and him, there in that place where tragedy had happened, where I thought my life had ended. But somehow, he made it seem like a home again.
Somehow, he gave it back to me.
T.J. Klune
#98. You sound like a young person. You are probably all hip to the lingo the kids use these days." "You and I are the same age, Mr. Tiberius.
T.J. Klune
#99. You can't own what belongs to the world.
T.J. Klune
#100. I told myself that once I was done ripping the seagull's head off, I would turn around and give a speech so saccharine that even Eddie wouldn't be able to console them when I was finished. I would destroy them, and they would drown in an ocean of their tears.
But first the seagull.
T.J. Klune
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