Top 100 Quotes About Jeff Kinney

#1. I can't divorce myself from my childhood. I try to write as much fiction as I possibly can, but there are so many things that are touchstones of my childhood like being on the swim team and playing soccer and the particularities of sports season and environments that make their way into my books.

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#2. I gravitated to Judy Blume early on. 'Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing' was my favorite, with a realistic and relatable protagonist in Peter Hatcher. When I reached the fourth grade, I made the leap to science fiction and never looked back.

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#3. I've never run into a person who yearns for their middle school days.

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#4. That made Dad pretty mad, so he said
"NO SON OF MINE IS A QUITTER!"
Which isn't really true at all. I'm a HUGE quitter, and so is Rodrick. And I think Manny is on his third of fourth preschool by now.

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#5. It seems that when anything aimed at kids catches on, it causes the collective antennae of the older set to go up.

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#6. that if you don't read nobody does

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#7. I think it's important for me to keep my childhood friends so that later on someone can appreciate how far I've come.

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#8. hopefully Mr. Blakely won't be too mad when he sees his

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#9. I just hope someone doesn't start the Cheese Touch up again, because I don't need that kind of stress in my life any more.

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#10. In middle school, I started to draw, and my pencil sketches were huge. They were these 4ft by 3ft drawings, and I got a lot of attention for that, so that was very validating. But I didn't start cartooning until I was in college.

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#11. Dear Aunt Loretta,
Thank you so much for the awesome pants!
How did you know I wanted that for Christmas?
I love the way the pants look on my legs!
All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants.
Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever!
Sincerely, Greg

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#12. Must've stepped in dog poop when I walked in the grass. And I knew EXACTLY where it happened, too. SQUISH I took my shoe off and went to the front of the room to tell Mrs. Pope about my situation. But I think Mrs. Pope thought I was trying to skip out on the pop quiz, because she gave me

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#13. Merit badges are these little patches you get for learning how to do all sorts of manly stuff.

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#14. Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!

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#15. Whenever you go with the cheaper option, you end up regretting it

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#16. Seriously, though, in this day and age I don't know why we're still cutting open frogs to see what's inside them.
If somebody tells me there's a heart and intestines inside a grog, I'm willing to take their word for it.

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#17. I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.

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#18. I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

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#19. And if you don't spend every second outdoors, people think there's someting wrong with you.

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#20. I had a very normal, very typical American childhood. My father worked for the government at the Pentagon and my mother was an educator, so we had a very average upbringing, but that's helped me in my writing because I'm writing about ordinary things.

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#21. I've realized is that every time you get something cool for your birthday or for Christmas, within a week it's being used against you. (We'll be taking this away until your English grade improves)

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#22. I can tell you that the book 'The Ugly Truth' is about puberty and all the awfulness that comes with that time in a person's life. It was definitely some different subject matter to be writing about, especially knowing some of my audience are second and third graders.

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#23. I work in the house next to where I live. We bought a smaller house that I use as my office and the place where my two employees work ... We've got tens of thousands of letters from kids stored all over the house in places you would usually put dishes and other things like that.

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#24. The key to any good comic strip or television sitcom is to reset the board at the end of the episode because people like familiarity.

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#25. I'm not even the most influential person in my own house.

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#26. It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.

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#27. I really wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist, but nobody liked my work. I didn't have the control or flair that was necessary to create something that didn't look childish.

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#28. Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

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#29. I do all my speeches in pictures. If I wrote words, I'd get locked in on them.

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#30. Jeff Kinney is tall and has a great smile, but don't be fooled, he's as slick as they come. A real player. And how he came up with a book that appeals to kids ages 8-13 baffles me. He's an unbelievably kind man with a great family.

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#31. We're incredibly excited to welcome the 500 millionth Poptropican into our virtual world. When we started in 2007, we never could have imagined that we'd see a day when half a billion avatars inhabited Poptropica.

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#32. Kids can sniff out a moral. They can feel the heavy hand of an adult.

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#33. I started worrying that maybe you only get a certain number of prayers answered in you lifetime and I'm burning through mine too fast. I'd hate to find out later on that I used up all my chits, because I've been acting like I've got an unlimited supply.

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#34. Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.

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#35. I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

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#36. I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!

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#37. hope your birthday is hot hot hot

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#38. step step step no no no plop plop plop in i go

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#39. I'm an author whose strength is in gag-writing.

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#40. I feel, as an adult, I'm very similar to how I was as a pre-teen. Maybe it's a case of arrested development, but I feel like it's easy to slip back into those shoes, and I feel like if we were all magically transported back to our middle school years, we'd all act like we did in middle school.

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#41. When kids get stuck on one of our quests, we now have an app for that. It is so cool to know that now kids can use mobile technology to learn more about Poptropica's great adventures and solve its challenging quests.

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#42. I think goodreads is the best place to look for books

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#43. I've learned to accept that I'm a children's writer, even if it's not what I set out to become. It's what I should have been all along, and I'll stay in this role as long as I'm a writer.

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#44. See, that's the problem with putting too much stock in the old days. You remember all the GOOD stuff, but you forget about the time you got spanked by your best friend's mom.

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#45. Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.

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#46. The man looks outside. The house is totally surrounded by night crawlers.

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#47. If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

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#48. With the recent addition of a full soundtrack and the players map, millions of Poptropicans around the globe are now fully immersed in a multimedia gaming experience when they embark on our high quality adventures.

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#49. I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.

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#50. i'm just glad i'm not in the swim team this summer

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#51. When I was growing up, my house was filled with books. My mother was an educator, and my father was a history buff, so our home was a virtual library, covering every author from Beverly Cleary to James Michener.

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#52. fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

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#53. I never thought I was writing for kids at all. It really shocked and unsettled me to hear kids were buying the books. If I'd known I was writing for kids, I might actually have spelt things out a bit more, and that would probably have killed the appeal.

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#54. I'm basically one of the best people I know.

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#55. So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

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#56. When I started writing 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid,' I was trying to write the type of book you might enjoy, put back on your shelf, and rediscover a few years later. I hope that the book finds its way into the bathroom of every kid in America.

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#57. If I were put into a college lecture hall right now and told to pay attention for 45 minutes, it would be physically impossible for me to do. I'm one of those people who believe that ADD is a gift. It's tough to manage, but if you can harness it you can do great things.

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#58. No matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

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#59. Looking back, I realize my favorite stories weren't in books, they were in comics. On top of being a history enthusiast, my father was also a comics fan, and he kept his stash in the top drawer of his dresser, in easy reach of a kid making a beeline to the bathroom.

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#60. I had an older brother, an older sister and a younger brother, and though I look back fondly on my childhood, I think that when you've got four siblings sharing the same resources and a single kids' bathroom, it's going to get a little tense at times.

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#61. Kids and adults have a difference of opinion when it comes to what constitutes legitimate reading. Adults often push books that they loved as children, which, ironically, were often books that their parents weren't particularly keen on.

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#62. My office doubles as a karaoke den for the neighborhood. There are strobe lights and Rock Band plastic guitars, a disco ball and a fog machine and some other things. I have a really long work day, and you might find me doing karaoke by myself late at night.

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#63. After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was, 'Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?'
I know EXACTLY where I will be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there weren't any check boxes for THAT option.

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#64. So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.

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#65. Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president.

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#66. I take comedy very seriously, and I feel very competitive.

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#67. I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

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#68. I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons. - Greg Heffley,

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#69. I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that I should try to do "the right thing" because it's our choices that make us who we are. I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.

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#70. Because it's our choices that makes us who we are ...

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#71. I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

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#72. On the first day of school, you got to be real careful where you sit. You walk into the classroom and just plunk your stuff down on any old desk, and the next thing you know the teacher is saying, 'I hope you all like where you're sitting, because these are your permanent seats.'

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#73. For the record, I think it should be illegal for a boy to have to fold his mother's underwear.

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#74. My advice to authors would be to try to do something original rather than to try to anticipate what the market is looking for.

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#75. Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

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#76. don't expect me to be all dear diary this and dear diary that

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#77. Hey guys i would like you to try this book you will love it!

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#78. Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want.

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#79. Kids can sniff out when they are being preached to, and they don't like it. So while my books aren't amoral, they are not infused with morals or a message, either, and kids like that.

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#80. I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the perfect time to get it

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#81. My life is pretty ordinary in so many ways. I live in a town called Plainville. I have the life of an average dad. It feels like I have this secret identity as an author, and it's still very surreal to me.

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#82. I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.

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#83. First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.

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#84. I'm very excited to see the wonderful 2-D characters in Poptropica come to life in the form of 3-D toys. When I first held the characters in my hands, it felt like magic. I'm excited for kids to have the same feeling!

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#85. To come out and meet kids who have my books in their hands is kind of amazing.

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#86. You know, back in the old days adults were respected because of how wise they were, and people went to them to help settle disputes. Nowadays it's a whole different world, and half the time I wonder if grown-ups should really be in charge.

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#87. But the thing I'm finding out is some people don't really appreciate it when you'r trying to be helpful.

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#88. I draft on the computer. I have a really giant screen that attaches to my laptop, and then I have a humongous digital drawing tablet called a Cintiq. It sits at all different angles, and it's so big that it would take two people to move it.

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#89. We're extremely excited to see more than 500,000 friends around the globe be added within the first 12 hours of launching Friends on Poptropica. The reaction has been extremely positive from fans, and we're proud to bring a completely safe friends offering to kids on our virtual world.

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#90. And at least 95% of it was was totally outdated.

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#91. Jeff got an idea that might work. What if he wrote an illustrated journal from the point of view of a middle-school kid?

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#92. When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.

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#93. The best person I know is Myself.

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#94. Be yourself and people will like you.

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#95. I'll tell you who has a lot of money, and that's Manny. I mean, that kid is RICH. A few weeks ago Mom and Dad told Manny they'd give him a quarter for every time he uses the potty without being asked. So now he carries around a gallon of water with him at all times.

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#96. I only work on my books at nights and at weekends. It is really just like a hobby.

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#97. Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

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#98. Working with Dav Pilkey was a dream come true. Dav is incredibly funny, and he's been a hero of mine for a long time. It was great bringing the 'Wimpy Kid' and 'Captain Underpants' worlds together!

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#99. You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.

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#100. I'm not really sure what makes a book a 'classic' to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.

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