Top 100 Quotes About Darynda
#1. Its a beautiful day.I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up a bit_Bumper Sticker
Darynda Jones
#2. He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful.
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#3. I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.
Darynda Jones
#4. I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
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#5. 12 Life is short. Buy the shoes. - INSPIRATIONAL POSTER
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#6. Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!
Darynda Jones
#7. A blank is the only thing I draw well. --T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones
#8. Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit morbid?"
"Pffft. It's just you," I said, discounting the entire bizarre ghoulish thing.
Darynda Jones
#9. Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.
Darynda Jones
#10. I tried to start a gang once.
It turned into a book club.
- MEME
Darynda Jones
#11. When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
T-SHIRT
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#12. I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding."
I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?
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#13. The rush of adrenaline helped. Not a lot. I still needed a caffeine fix, but at least I was awake enough to realize I quite possibly had my underwear on inside out. Something didn't feel right down yonder.
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#14. The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. "I can't move my legs."
I snorted. "You can't move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You're dead.
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#15. Cookie's cousin Lucille, for example. Or her second cousins. Or her uncle on her mother's side. Her whole family, in fact, was a Harvard study waiting to happen.
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#16. No way. I'm so in, it's unreal. I just want you to know that if we make it to Plan E, I'm running. Far away. And possibly changing my name.
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#17. He wants my head on a platter." "You just make friends wherever you go, don't you?" "It's weird, right?
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#18. I write in every genre under the sun! Like, seriously. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Publishing, however, takes a bit more tact.
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#19. Freaking Kodak moments sucked when you didn't actually have a Kodak.
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#20. Want to come over to my place?" I asked him.
The sparkle in his eyes danced in humor. "I don't know," he said. "You live so far away.
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#21. Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
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#23. I guess it's a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed," he said. "Why's that?" "We can still see each other after I die.
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#24. I snuggled deep into the covers,adjusted my pillow until it was just right, then lay down until my head rested on Reyes's shoulder.
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#25. Is it sexy in here or is it just me? - T-shirt.
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#26. Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt
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#27. I was starting to wonder if repetitive exposure to nightly hallucinations resulting in earth-shattering climaxes could have any long-term side effects.
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#28. You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.
T-SHIRT
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#29. Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.
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#30. Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.
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#31. Where do writers get their ideas from? Anywhere and everywhere.
Nothing is sacred.
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#32. I told Bobert and Cookie about the hypothetical man and his hypothetical family. She didn't fall for it. Damn her and her psychic abilities. I'd have to watch what I said around her. No! I'd have to watch what I thought around her. Crap, this was going to be hard.
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#33. Somehow, when you're knocked senseless, the pain doesn't show up till later. Then it's a cold, heartless bitch.
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#34. I don't understand people. They smile when they are mad. They hug people they hate. They steal from people they genuinely love. And they are jealous of babies.
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#35. Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?"
I fought a grin. "It doesn't really work that way."
"Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I'm in your body?"
"No."
"I can pay. I have money."
"How much we talking?
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#36. If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.
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#37. He'd actually hit me! It didn't matter that hitting me wasn't really like hitting a regular girl and I'd be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I'd just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.
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#38. When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
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#39. Evil is simply the absence of good, the absence of God.
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#40. Are we not all products of the world we were born into just as much as, if not more than, the parents we were given to?
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#41. His mouth was truly one of his most spectacular accomplishments. It had the gentle fullness of passion, as though he'd just made love. As though he'd just satisfied some fortuitous woman's deepest desires.
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#42. Don't expect everything to be handed to me. Just set it down wherever. - T-SHIRT
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#43. There's another part, an obstinate part, that wants more. That wants Dutch live and in the flesh. That wants her hand. Her mouth. Her hips under mine. It wants all of her. Every last ounce. Body and soul.
Darynda Jones
#44. I don't know. You just seem different now. Distant. Like you have PTSD.
I knew from where I spoke. My TSD got P'd when I was tortured by a monster named Earl.
Darynda Jones
#45. There is a difference between fresh and weird. You never want to throw your reader out of the story. Keep it fresh but natural.
Darynda Jones
#46. Okay but he has a case for you," she said again, her voice singsong.
"Don't care."
"It's right up your alley. There's been a rash of suicide notes."
"That's not right up my alley. That's, like, two blocks over from my alley.
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#47. I'd tried to be washed of my sin once, but I ran out of Dial. Tricky business, that.
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#48. Wait, maybe I could get a reality TV contract. We could call it Grim in the City.
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#49. Gemma was so determined for me to deal with my PTSD, but I thought I was doing pretty well with it. We were friends now. I had my incontinence under control
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#50. Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.
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#51. Thrilled that Reyes and I were outside, and taking that as her cue to get her freak on, Artemis ran around like a gerbil on meth, turning occasionally to make sure we were still watching. And God help us if we weren't.
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#52. He's helped me a lot over the years."
"I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours."
"I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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#53. Hello? I said, because Charley's House of Pasties seemed wrong.
Darynda Jones
#54. If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.
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#55. Genius has its limitations.
Insanity ... not so much -Bumper Sticker
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#56. In the meantime, I had to get dressed and go to work, because going to work in my pajamas was apparently the definition of unprofessional. Cookie's words. I looked it up though. She was wrong. Webster's mentioned nothing about pajamas.
Darynda Jones
#57. We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.:
Glitch snorted. More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.
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#58. She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. - E. CORONA Two
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#60. What you should be asking yourself," he said, indicating Mr. Wong with a nod as the departed man hovered in my corner, "is why a being that ungodly powerful is hanging out in your apartment.
Darynda Jones
#61. I was freaking her out, but someone had to do it, damn it
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#62. That boy needs a hobby."
"Stalking is a hobby."
"So is serial killing.
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#63. The regular I both feared and salivated to see was names Reyes Farrow. Where others exuded aggression, deception, and insecurity, he literally dripped confidence, sex, and power. Mostly sex.
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#64. Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.
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#65. It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the universe. (Not even remotely.) - MEME
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#66. I kept my head down and my breathing steady. No idea why. I totally felt like a sniper in the marines. Only I was pregnant. Other than that, and the fact that I couldn't snipe if they'd paid me to, I embodied all that a sniper should be. Stealth. Grace. The patience of a panther on the prowl.
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#67. The demons? How many are there?"
"More than even you could handle."
"So, then, there're two?
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#68. How would you like your eggs?"
I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?
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#69. See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!
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#70. I was in a mental asylum? When the fuck did that happen?
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#71. The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. -
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#73. Anther spasm ripped through me and all I could wonder was why in the world had women been doing this for thousands of years? This was barbaric. This was torture. Never again. Never again as long as I lived would I have another baby, so Beep had better be pretty awesome.
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#74. They were back. The demons in all their glory. And they had a plan. I made plans sometimes, too, but they rarely involved world domination. Hot dogs on a grill, maybe. Tequila.
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#75. It was one thing to die. It was another to lose one's soul. To come to a complete end. To exist no longer.
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#76. I'm like crack. People don't want to like me, but once they get a taste, they always come back for more.
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#78. Because no being can live in a perfect world. Life is destined to fight to survive. To thrive. To prosper. To have more than the have-nots. All life destroys in order to live.
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#79. I once signed up for anger management classes but the instructor pissed me off.
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#80. Just because I see dead people doesn't mean I want to be dead people.
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#81. Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte
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#82. Are you free?" he asked. "No, but I'm on sale for a dollar ninety-nine.
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#83. There should be one line at every store for people who have their shit together. - TRUE FACT
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#84. A lot of people are alive because I shed too much hair to get away with murder.
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#85. The fastest way to a man's heart is by tearing a hole through his rib cage_T-Shirt
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#86. Love New York." I nodded my head. "I only like New York as a friend, but I'm in.
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#87. I breathed in the heat that spiraled around him. He gave me every ounce of attention he had to offer, focused like a leopard focusing on his prey, just long enough to cause a warmth to crack open and spill into my chest. Over my stomach. Between my legs.
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#88. A friend will help you if someone knocks you down. A best friend will pick up a bat and say, Stay down. I got this.
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#89. Life ain't all burritos and strippers, my friend. - TRUE FACT
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#90. I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT
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#91. I have them a few minutes to absorb everything while I teased Ubie, who only had to recover from his near-death experience. I was so glad Reyes hadn't ripped him to shreds. I liked him much better un-shredded. Unlike, say, my preference for lettuce or heavy metal guitar solos.
Darynda Jones
#92. I am a huge believer in revelations and fun twists.
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#93. Cookie saw him, too. "Holy mother of all things sexy," she said, her eyes drinking him in.
"Right there with ya.
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#94. My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
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#95. Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.
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#96. What do you want?"
"You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.
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#97. Thank the gods Ubie'd had her detailed, because blood simmering under the New Mexico sun was never a good scent choice for cars. I preferred pine. Or
Darynda Jones
#98. And who came up with the animals for these euphemisms, anyway? Why bat shit? Why not cow shit or grasshopper shit? And why don't we give a rat's ass as opposed to a hamster's ass?
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#99. Suddenly I'm that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I'll be boiling rabbits.
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#100. Aw, thanks. And I repeat, if I die, I'm coming back to haunt you." She thought about that a moment. "You do have a tendency to almost get murdered in the most unlikely places." She
Darynda Jones
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