Top 100 Quayle Quotes
#1. Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food, and Dan Quayle confused with a national political leader, masochists are clearly less mixed-up than the rest of us.
P. J. O'Rourke
#2. There is no question that [Dan] Quayle is an uneducated idiot. But someone, somewhere cleverly realized that the best diversion from Bush is to put on a clown show.
Tim Robbins
#3. Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.
Jay Leno
#4. I nodded sagely. "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." Masur looked at me quizzically. "Dan Quayle said that," I added. Whether he actually did or not, I liked the quote.
Joseph Finder
#5. I've been told to keep my remarks relatively brief. I understand Quayle-hunting season begins at noon.
Dan Quayle
#6. Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
Emo Philips
#7. The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.
Dan Quayle
#8. Somebody should talk to Dan Quayle and tell him natural blondes don't have dark grey stripes on the sides.
Harvey Fierstein
#9. Quayle said the worst thing that happened to him was that he never trusted his own judgment. I said from now on I am going to go with my own judgment.
Mike Tyson
#10. I would not have married Dan Quayle had I not thought he was an equal to me.
Marilyn Quayle
#11. When Negroes are average, they fail, unless they are very, very lucky. Now, if you're average and white, honey, you can go far. Just look at Dan Quayle. If that boy was colored he'd be washing dishes somewhere.
Annie Elizabeth Delany
#12. That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked into those lovely blue eyes: impeachment insurance.
Barbara Ehrenreich
#13. For NASA, space is still a high priority." (Quayle, Dan; 1990).
Dan Quayle
#14. The idea that I have to be on the same side of the fence as Dan Quayle is cruelly depressing to me, but the truth is, I believe in family values.
Harold Prince
#16. For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quayle.'
Jay Leno
#17. If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
John Cleese
#18. Quayle himself was a surprisingly elegant man of sixty winters or more. (One might equally have said "sixty springs" or "sixty summers," but that would have been inaccurate, for Quayle was a man of bare trees and frozen water.)
John Connolly
#19. The future will be a better tomorrow.
Dan Quayle
#20. The rapid rise of the People's Republic of China as a military and economic power is challenging the status quo.
Dan Quayle
#21. The other day the President said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. He paused, then said, would you like a puppy?
Dan Quayle
#22. Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.
Dan Quayle
#23. The world is beset by challenges including the ongoing danger of international terrorism, and the significant political and economic threats posed by factors such as the high levels of corporate and sovereign debt and persistent unemployment.
Dan Quayle
#24. Mars is essentially in the same orbit ... somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water.
Dan Quayle
#25. It shows 'us vs. them', and I'm on the 'us' side.
Dan Quayle
#26. I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that have had a difficult time.
Dan Quayle
#27. Most women do not want to be liberated from their essential natures as women.
Dan Quayle
#28. A good debater can be a good communicator. You have to communicate when you're president of the United States, and communicate effectively with the American people, and with the world.
Dan Quayle
#29. We do, in former chairman Lee Atwater's words, offer the party as a big tent, and therefore that message has to be clear. How we do that within the platform, the preamble to the platform or whatnot, that remains to be seen. But that message will have to be articulated with great clarity.
Dan Quayle
#30. I spend a great deal of time with the President. We have a very close, personal, loyal relationship. I'm not, as they say, a potted plant in these meetings.
Dan Quayle
#31. It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago
Dan C. Quayle
#32. You have a part-time job and that's better to no job at all
Dan Quayle
#33. Congress should definitely consider decriminalizing possession of marijuana ... We should concentrate on prosecuting the rapists and burglars who are a menace to society.
Dan Quayle
#34. I used to smoke marijuana, but that was when I was in college,
before it was a drug.
Dan Quayle
#35. In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference.
Dan Quayle
#36. Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
Dan Quayle
#37. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
Dan Quayle
#38. We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward.
Dan Quayle
#39. Americans have always excelled through hard work, innovation, and an ability to find solutions that makes us unique among nations.
Dan Quayle
#40. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
Dan C. Quayle
#41. Sam, had a great time this weekend but the golf was lousey.
Dan Quayle
#42. America is great, because America is free.
Dan Quayle
#43. The best thing about rain forests is they never suffer from drought.
Dan Quayle
#44. Frankly, the trouble with winter is, it is all backbone. It is fleshless, insensate, with neither a breast to be leaned on nor a heart to love and ache and, if need be, break, nor any kindly hand to fondle and caress like a sea-wave on a sunny shore half asleep.
William Alfred Quayle
#45. Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us.
Dan Quayle
#46. I don't watch it, but I know enough to comment on it.
Dan Quayle
#47. I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
Dan Quayle
#48. I think we should be looking at the defense and seeing where we can actually be more efficient because I think that, you know, sometimes during the contracting process, we lose some efficiencies in that regard.
Ben Quayle
#49. It's time for the human race to enter the solar system.
Dan C. Quayle
#50. Speaking as a man, it's not a woman's issue. Us men are tired of losing our women.
Dan Quayle
#51. Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a-it is different than the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation.
Dan Quayle
#52. You know, even people who talk about cutting spending and they go 'That's not the spending that I was actually talking about that you're supposed to be cutting.' Well, we have to be looking across the board.
Ben Quayle
#53. I'm glad you asked me that. This gives me the perfect opportunity to talk about the problems with this Congress ...
Dan Quayle
#54. What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.
Dan Quayle
#55. Abortion is not an issue with the American people. It is a figment of your imagination if you think that this is an issue that is talked about a lot.
Dan Quayle
#56. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
Dan Quayle
#57. We'll let the sunshine in and shine on us, because today we're happy and tomorrow we'll be even happier.
Dan Quayle
#58. We must reject the idea of isolationism, . But that doesn't mean we should get involved in every civil war around the world.
Dan Quayle
#59. My moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot.
Ben Quayle
#60. Everyone across America is tightening their belts. The only place it hasn't happened is D.C.
Ben Quayle
#61. I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.
Dan Quayle
#62. favormeThe mind is a terrible thing.
Dan Quayle
#63. The President scores much better than Bill Clinton.
Dan Quayle
#64. The message of David Duke, is this, basically: Big government, anti-big government, get out of my pocketbook, cut my taxes, put welfare people back to work. That's a very popular message. The problem is the messenger.
Dan Quayle
#65. What the media wants and what the media demands of Christians is very simply this: your silence.
Dan Quayle
#66. If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. If you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime.
Dan Quayle
#67. Let me just be very clear that the Republican Party will select a nominee that will beat Bill Clinton.
Dan Quayle
#68. They asked me to go in front of the Reagans. I'm not used to going in front of President Reagan, so we went out behind the Bushes.
Dan Quayle
#69. We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
Dan Quayle
#70. Tobacco exports should be expanded aggressively because Americans are smoking less.
Dan Quayle
#71. Office of the Vice President ... The Council on Competativeness.
Dan Quayle
#72. Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
Dan Quayle
#73. We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.
Dan Quayle
#74. On the security front, the United States must continue to play a leadership role. There simply is not another country in the world that commands the respect or has the capabilities that we do, and we must not shrink from our responsibilities.
Dan Quayle
#75. I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.
Dan Quayle
#76. The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering.
Dan Quayle
#77. Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that is the route this country will eventually go.
Dan Quayle
#79. Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
Dan Quayle
#80. Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.
Dan Quayle
#81. Getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise precision.
Dan Quayle
#82. Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That's a statement in and of itself.
Dan Quayle
#83. I happen to be a Republican President ... ah ... the Vice President.
Dan Quayle
#84. I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
Dan Quayle
#85. While it is important to be aware of and sensitive to cultural differences when conducting business internationally, the principles of transparency, trust, and partnership are universal.
Dan Quayle
#86. I want our leaders to lead our country to greatness, but President Obama and his misguided policies and ideology have really fundamentally changed our country in the wrong way, more so than any president in our history.
Ben Quayle
#87. May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
Dan Quayle
#88. Looking back, I should have pursued philosophy and economics and things of that sort in college more, but I didn't.
Dan Quayle
#89. Information technology has brought people much closer together than ever before, providing a democratizing and mostly stabilizing influence.
Dan Quayle
#91. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
Dan Quayle
#92. We have seen pictures [of mars] where there there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
Dan Quayle
#93. Buzz Lukens took that fateful step ...
Dan Quayle
#94. Our policies must be premised on, and must reinforce, values such as family, hard work, integrity and personal responsibility.
Dan Quayle
#95. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Dan Quayle
#96. Hundreds of millions of people around the world have been lifted out of poverty with the creation of robust middle classes in India and China, which is an enormously positive development for those countries that also creates opportunities for the rest of the world.
Dan Quayle
#97. Add one little bit on the end ... Think of 'potato,' how's it spelled? You're right phonetically, but what else ... ? There ya go ... alright!
Dan Quayle
#98. When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
Dan Quayle
#99. Air travel efficiency would improve if more travelers started going to less popular places.
Dan Quayle
#100. The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up ... And fight for what you believe in?
Dan Quayle
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