Morning Girlfriend Quotes

#1. I have no reasons to be unhappy today. Normally, when I pick my mother up from the police station I go to the gym as soon as it opens and smash the bag for a while. This morning, however, I woke up to your pretty face and I remembered that you are my girlfriend.

Skyla Madi

#2. My girlfriend says that I thrash throughout the night, for longer periods than are generally accepted as corresponding to REM sleep, and she often has to move to the couch to get any sort of rest before she goes to work in the morning.

Keith Murray

#3. Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.

Dave Attell

#4. She's the kind of girl any guy would want to have as a girlfriend."
"Sucks a mean dick?"
"Stop."
"Loves anal in the morning?"
"Max!

Molly O'Keefe

#5. When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

Steven Wright

#6. Acting has been the only thing so far that really gets me jazzed. It's like my girlfriend in a lot of ways. We fight. We have a relationship, and she gets me up every morning. I'm inspired by it, and I want to one day be really good at it and see what we can do together.

Eddie Cahill

#7. There's no protocol on how to console your girlfriend of four years who you just met this morning.

Colleen Hoover

#8. I love perfumes. Every morning when my girlfriend and I come down to the courtyard in our block of flats we're assailed by the most delicious scent - jasmine round a doorway. It almost makes me swoon.

Alan Rickman