Top 100 Morganville Vampires Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Morganville Vampires

#1. You staked a vampire with a number two pencil."
"I didn't actually check the number."
- Shane Collins and Claire Danvers from Morganville Vampires

Rachel Caine

#2. Please don't go away. You--you matter. To me.

Rachel Caine

#3. They did seem pretty serious about their mayhem.

Rachel Caine

#4. Damn. That was stupid, wasn't it? We nearly got killed over ice cream.

Rachel Caine

#5. I don't see a way in," Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?" Myrnin whispered back. "Vampires can hear us, anyway.

Rachel Caine

#6. Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're all gone. I'm out. Have a nice delusion. -Shayne

Rachel Caine

#7. The saga started out a normal day - don't they all? I mean, surely one morning back there in prehistoric times a dinosaur woke up, yawned, chewed some coffee beans, and thought his day was going to be dead boring, just before a comet slammed into his neighborhood.

Rachel Caine

#8. His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. "Is this the part where I kiss you?"
"If you like."
"Oh," he said, "I like.

Rachel Caine

#9. You can't go around ... licking things that come out of a water treatment plant. That's just ... unsanitary.

Rachel Caine

#10. Giving up is always easy. It's the peace that follows that sucks.

Rachel Caine

#11. Gear up, Warrior Princess. We've got some adventuring to do.

Rachel Caine

#12. If she were any friendlier, she'd be giving you a lapdance right now.

Rachel Caine

#13. I love arguing with you, Claire. You always surprise me. And occasionally, you even make sense.

Rachel Caine

#14. At least this way we're safe in a room with a door that locks. And the sign says they have HBO."
That stands for Horrible Bloody Ohmygod." Eve said. "which is the way they kill you. When you think you're safe.

Rachel Caine

#15. Bad men skulking in the darkness have always been there, and always will.

Rachel Caine

#16. I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy.

Rachel Caine

#17. It's not your enemies who are likeliest to hurt you. It is, always, those you trust.

Rachel Caine

#18. Really?" Claire said, and couldn't help but smile. "That's what creeps you out. Waxing. You can take on vampires and draug and killers, but you're afraid of a little chest-hair pulling?

Rachel Caine

#19. There are always a few, Claire, who like being told what to do instead of being required to think. And those are the ones you should fear. That goes equally for humans, I'm afraid. Critical thinking has become a sadly rare skill these days.

Rachel Caine

#20. You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass!

Rachel Caine

#21. You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?

Rachel Caine

#22. Let's say that it belong to me as much as it belongs to anyone alive today. If I am, strictly speaking, living. The old word was undead, you know, but aren't all living things undead. I dislike imprecision.

Rachel Caine

#23. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Eve

Rachel Caine

#24. I ended your experiment. Because you're not a scientist. You're a monster. I'm not leaving any of them at your mercy.

Rachel Caine

#25. I can't simply adopt strays because they seem winsome.

Rachel Caine

#26. You've been the least useless apprentice I've ever had.

Rachel Caine

#27. This one is named Eve," I said. "And don't check my teeth like I'm your livestock. I bite back.

Rachel Caine

#28. It's dreadfully unfair to say things like that when this is likely the last time we will speak and we both know you don't mean what you say. It's pure selfishness that you want to keep me here.

Rachel Caine

#29. Sometime, somewhere, life always comes to a fight, and peace always comes to an end.

Rachel Caine

#30. It's part of the marriage vows. Didn't you read the fine print? To have and to harass.

Rachel Caine

#31. Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car!

Rachel Caine

#32. Expendable was not the word I was looking to hear to boost my morale, but whatever.

Rachel Caine

#33. Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.

Rachel Caine

#34. Hello! Your dear father is unfortunately very dead," he called. "And you said my dispersal system would never work!

Rachel Caine

#35. Don't bait the cougars.

Rachel Caine

#36. People bond themselves into families and groups for protection, and strangers ... strangers are always at risk.

Rachel Caine

#37. You've turned into quite a bossy little thing," Myrnin said. "I think I might like it.

Rachel Caine

#38. Yeah. She'd manipulated the second most powerful vampire in town into taking her side against a psycho bitch-queen sorority girl. She'd talked rationally about putting people's brains into computers. This was a normal day. No wonder she was screwed up.

Rachel Caine

#39. She needs you for more than just protection. It's how it works. You want the strong girl, you understand that she's with you because she wants to be. Not because she has to be. You know that, right?

Rachel Caine

#40. Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go."
"Ooh, me, too," Eve said.
The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it.
"What? It's what girls do. Get over it.

Rachel Caine

#41. I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that's how much I love them.

Rachel Caine

#42. Next time we commit crime, we'll make sure to include him.

Rachel Caine

#43. Myrnin said softly. And how is it that you do not understand that HERE, in THIS place, this girl belongs to me, not to you?

Rachel Caine

#44. Oliver: You turned me down. So why, I wonder, did you decide Amelie would be a better choice?
Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies.

Rachel Caine

#45. You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now.

Rachel Caine

#46. Michael ... Michael got bitten. And now he's a vampire. But he doesn't remember becoming one, and that's a big problem. So if you see him, don't, you know, hug. He bites. He doesn't mean it, though.

Rachel Caine

#47. Goodness,' Myrnin said quietly. 'I don't think I should be watching this. I don't think I'm old enough.

Rachel Caine

#48. Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that.

Rachel Caine

#49. Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said.

Rachel Caine

#50. That's it? That's your big goodbye?" Eve asked.
Claire looked at Eve mystified. "I think I need guy CliffNotes."
"Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffNotes."
"What were you waiting for, flowery poetry?" Shane snorted. "I hugged. I'm done.

Rachel Caine

#51. In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me.

Rachel Caine

#52. Go to hell and take that with you! She shouted it right in Amelie's face. Eve
was an exotic blaze of color against Amelie's white fury.
And then she slapped the Founder in the face.

Rachel Caine

#53. Clumsiness would be just as deadly an opponent.

Rachel Caine

#54. I can smell the crazy on that man from here. I have a nose for it.

Rachel Caine

#55. Shane kissed her one more time, lightly and softly, and fluffed her hair back from her face. "To be continued," he said.
"I hate cliff-hangers."
"Blame Eve.

Rachel Caine

#56. Could you maybe not admire the evil enemy quite as much, and focus on how we're going to get out of this?

Rachel Caine

#57. Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.

Rachel Caine

#58. When I want to know your opinion, I'll consult your entrails.

Rachel Caine

#59. See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!"
"Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

Rachel Caine

#60. I never meant it," he was saying.
"Never meant it to happen. Can't stand it,
seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something ... What do I do? What can I do ... ?

Rachel Caine

#61. Just because he's a spider doesn't mean he deserves any less concern!

Rachel Caine

#62. As she turned to concentrate on the portal, Eve tugged on Claire's shirt. "What?"
"Ask him where he got the boots."
"You ask." Personally, Claire wanted the vampire bunny slippers.

Rachel Caine

#63. Okay, this was kissing. Serious kissing. Not just a kiss before moving out, not a good-bye, this was Hello, sexy, and wow, she'd never even suspected that it could feel this way.

Rachel Caine

#64. When things seem calmest, that is the time you should fear the most, it's when you have the most to lose.

Rachel Caine

#65. Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!

Rachel Caine

#66. Unfortunately, my army consists of one unreliable criminal, one girl with a
disability, and one incredibly foolish young vampire with a tanning issue. I am not confident.

Rachel Caine

#67. And without forgiveness, there is never any peace.

Rachel Caine

#68. This was ... This was sickeningly different. It was blind, unreasoning hate that just wanted blood and she didn't understand why. It left her feeling horrified and shaky.

Rachel Caine

#69. Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity.

Rachel Caine

#70. Dear girls, I can let anyone get hurt because in my world, my safety and well-being come first.

Rachel Caine

#71. Any requests on the kind of car?"
"Something with armor?" she said. "Oooh, and headrest DVD. Bonus for surround sound."
"Rocket launchers," Michael said.
"One hot yellow Hummer with optional mass destruction package, coming up.

Rachel Caine

#72. I know, not what you were expecting am I? Everybody says that. Including my own family.

Rachel Caine

#73. I never did have much, so having it rough came with the territory. I was conditioned for it.

Rachel Caine

#74. Hannah: What's your plan?
Claire: Go get him
Hannah: Honey, that is not a plan. That's what we in the military call an objective.

Rachel Caine

#75. Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me.

Rachel Caine

#76. Any fool can kill. It takes genius to create.

Rachel Caine

#77. I'm not obliged to defend your dignity. Provided you have any.

Rachel Caine

#78. Oh
who's the Queen?"
"Her, of course. The White Queen. You're just like Alice, you know. Down the rabbit hole with the Mad Hatter.

Rachel Caine

#79. Some people come to Morganville and collapse," Michael said as he put the car in motion. "I've seen it a dozen times. But there are a few who come here and just - bloom. You're one of those."
Claire didn't feel especially bloomy. "So you're saying I thrive on chaos.

Rachel Caine

#80. See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often."
"No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children.

Rachel Caine

#81. Mirnin: Where's Shreve?

Rachel Caine

#82. Stop using him, and start protecting him. I know he thinks he doesn't need it, but sometimes he does. Sometimes we all do.

Rachel Caine

#83. Welcome," Vassily said, and smiled. He showed teeth. "To Immortal Battles. We don't fight to the death
we fight beyond death, in the world's most dangerous sport.

Rachel Caine

#84. Me neither," Shane put in. "Homie don't play that."
"I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all," Amelie said.

Rachel Caine

#85. Girl, we need to get you on a study program, fast. You're not going to last a week around here if you can't keep up with the pop culture references. How about Lord of the Rings? Firefly? Doctor Horrible? No? Clearly we have a lot of work to do.

Rachel Caine

#86. It's bad enough I have to be trapped in a car with you children. You'll do your best not to act like children.

Rachel Caine

#87. Don't worry ... Someone will pay for your suffering. Heavily. With screaming.

Rachel Caine

#88. She looked back to see Sam standing there at the edge of the strip of sunlight inside Common Grounds, staring after her with an expression on his face like he'd lost his best- his only friend.

Rachel Caine

#89. What was your name again?"
"Still Eve."
"No, I'm sure it's something else. That doesn't seem right.

Rachel Caine

#90. Might as well go out flipping the bird to the powers that be killing us.

Rachel Caine

#91. Better broke than dead.

Rachel Caine

#92. He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.

Rachel Caine

#93. Ahh ... maybe we should be going," Shane said. "Ditch the shoes, Eve. We'll be running now."
"I love these shoes!"
"More than your circulatory system?"
Eve silently kicked off the stilettos and backed up.

Rachel Caine