Top 59 Morelli Quotes
#1. Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.
Janet Evanovich
#2. Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me.
It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.
Janet Evanovich
#3. I was driving by, doing a security check ... and I smelled leg of lamb.
Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#4. Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex ... a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.
Janet Evanovich
#5. This is war,' I yelled through the door.
Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.
Janet Evanovich
#6. It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence.
Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#7. Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this. - Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#8. I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. "It was all because of the shower gel," I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. "Shower gel?" I made a major effort not to sigh. "Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.
Janet Evanovich
#9. The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.
Janet Evanovich
#10. He lowered his mouth and kissed me. I know I should have kneed him in the groin, but the kiss was delicious. Joe Morelli still knew how to kiss.
Janet Evanovich
#11. Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.
Janet Evanovich
#12. What did you do?" "Blew up a fuel depot, stole twelve rockets and made off with them in a stolen van, got kidnapped by a maniac, and had dinner with a guy who farted fire." "That would be funny, but I'm worried it's all true." "It's been a long couple days." "Did he really fart fire?" Morelli asked.
Janet Evanovich
#13. Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right now.
She sent me a look of utter disgust and slammed the front door. I was 30-year-old and Mrs Morelli was going to tell my mother on me. Only in the burgh.
Janet Evanovich
#14. It's a long story," I said. "The short version is Diesel and I are pretending to get married, so we can get Kloughn to marry Valerie." "Does Morelli know about this?" "It's pretend." "I'm not even gonna ask if Ranger knows. Poor ol' Diesel here be dead if Ranger knew.
Janet Evanovich
#15. Morelli looked dazed. "What good is a gun without bullets?" "It's good for scaring people. Or you can hit people with it. Or you can use it to break windows ... or crack walnuts.
Janet Evanovich
#17. You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you."
"You are such a cop."
"Tell me about it.
Janet Evanovich
#18. You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms.
Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#19. Morelli beeped his truck unlocked. "If you're looking for your rent-a-cop, I told Ranger you'd be with me this morning."
"Did he make you take a blood oath that you'd protect me?"
"He asked me if I had adequate health insurance.
Janet Evanovich
#20. Her full name is Eva Morelli Stein Hathaway. She retains her surnames not because they define her, but because she defines them; that is, except for the first--Morelli. Ironically it is the one she's least familiar with...
Maryann D'Agincourt
#21. I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life?
Janet Evanovich
#22. Sally looked over at him. "What, are you homophobic?"
"Nope," Morelli said. "I'm Italian. There's a difference.
Janet Evanovich
#23. Do you have someone watching her house?" (Stephanie)
"That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We're so underbudgeted we're one step away from
holding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Morelli)
Janet Evanovich
#24. My sex life is okay."
"Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner.
Janet Evanovich
#25. You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?" ~ Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#26. Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money.
Janet Evanovich
#27. How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
#28. Morelli grinned down at me. I don't know where he's getting it, but he's got some really good shit in those brownies.
Janet Evanovich
#29. I felt a little bad about killing the man, but what choice did I have?" ... Louie Morelli, "The Prince of Mafia Princes.
Patricia Bellomo
#30. I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"
Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum
Janet Evanovich
#31. You shouldn't be driving," Morelli said to Kloughn. "I know," Kloughn said. "I tried walking, but I was too drunk. It's okay. I was driving very slooooowly and 'sponsibly.
Janet Evanovich
#32. THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me - not forever, but periodically.
Janet Evanovich
#34. Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money)
Janet Evanovich
#36. My eyes never got lower than your nipples. If it wasn't for the fact that Morelli would shoot me I would have taken you on his front lawn.
Janet Evanovich
#37. I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
Janet Evanovich
#38. Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli.
"I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure."
-Morelli And Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
#39. Mrs. Morelli opened the door to us and smacked Joe on the side of the head. "Sex fiend. Just like your father, God rest his rotten soul."
Morelli grinned down at his mother. "It's a curse.
Janet Evanovich
#40. My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers.
Janet Evanovich
#41. I grew up with Morelli, lost my virginity to him, ran over him with my father's Buick in a fit of justifiable rage, and now years later he's my boyfriend.
Janet Evanovich
#42. I wanted to tell you I ... uh, like you." Shit. I chickened out! What was it with me that I couldn't say the big L word? I am such a dope.
Morelli sighed into the phone. "You are such a dope.
Janet Evanovich
#43. Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords on my neck standing out? Am I waving my arms around?" "No." "The were not fighting.
Janet Evanovich
#44. In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.
Janet Evanovich
#45. We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits.
- Joe Morelli
Janet Evanovich
#46. And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.
Janet Evanovich
#48. Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts."
I looked over at him.
All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now."
Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic.
Janet Evanovich
#49. I looked over at him. "Is that a proposal?"
There was total silence for a couple beats. "I'm not sure. It just popped out."
"Let me know when you're sure."
"Would you say yes?" Morelli asked.
"I'm not sure.
Janet Evanovich
#50. I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.
Janet Evanovich
#52. Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.
Janet Evanovich
#54. Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.
Janet Evanovich
#55. Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet.
Janet Evanovich
#56. Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car ... just for old times.
Janet Evanovich
#57. Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.
Janet Evanovich
#59. Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing."
"You're in love with me?"
"You didn't know that?"
"I did, but it's nice to hear."
"Scares the hell out of me.
Janet Evanovich
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
