Mokokoma Mokhonoana Quotes

#1. We are slaves whose masters are dead. For we are mostly controlled by doctrines which were established centuries heretofore.

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#2. Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.

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#3. Men did not need to have balls to have balls.

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#4. To see a man's true colours, tell him that you don't plan on having sex with him. To see a woman's true colours, tell her that you don't plan on marrying her.

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#5. When the going gets tough: the poor close their eyes, the rich open their wallets.

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#6. He who frowns when they say that he sucks shouldn't smile when they say that he rocks.

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#7. The fear of failure is a liability.

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#8. Arguments led by subjectivity are a waste of time. And, if they take place online, add to that, a waste of one's keyboard.

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#9. An enlightened thinker does not waste his precious time thinking about what others think of what he thinks.

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#10. Wearing: shorts + a jersey = a visual oxymoron.

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#11. Because of pressure from society, many a man has married a woman with whom he isn't compatible; she likes fairy tales, whereas he likes hairy males.

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#12. A 'white' kid that asks too many questions is called *curious.* A 'black' kid that asks too many questions is called *forward.*

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#13. Hanging around people you're smarter than is good for your ego. Hanging around people who are smarter than you is good for your intellect.

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#14. There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.

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#15. To buy women things, some men entertain. To entertain women, some men buy things.

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#16. A slice of bread eaten is a million times more nourishing than a loaf of bread imagined.

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#17. Graphic designers judge a cover by its book.

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#18. *Live fast, die young, and, leave a good looking corpse.* is dumb. When dead, looks matters not. (Furthermore, the corpse will only look good for a day, or, twelve.)

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#19. When a dreamer loses his lover, his dream profits. (Unless, of course, the lover was the dreamer's dream.)

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#20. If working-hours were natural, then employed men would only get erections between 5 p.m. and 9 a.m. ... during the week.

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#21. Some marry because they are in love. Others marry to have sex ... without the guilt.

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#22. A soldier is a killer painted hero.

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#23. An angry artist tells people what (he thinks) they need to hear. A hungry artist tells people what (he thinks) they want to hear.

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#24. Be ashamed not of being single, or, unemployed. That comes standard.

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#25. The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn't given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.

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#26. To a fireman, wind is a curse. To a sailor, wind is a blessing.

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#27. 98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.

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#28. 12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.

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#29. Girls like well-built boys. Women love well-paid men.

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#30. 88% of what we call good songs aren't really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had.

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#31. Once born, how long a man will live matters. Once dead, how long he has lived doesn't.

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#32. Twitter gives people an illusionary sense of leadership.

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#33. It is a sign of arrogance to be mad at someone for not acting as per your advice, especially if it was unsolicited.

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#34. We're all geniuses. Life is merely overpopulated with singers who play drums, and, drummers who sing, to pay rent.

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#35. Reality is what people who lack vision see.

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#36. To put a dreamer in their place isn't dreaming.

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#37. B.E.E killed: Is it 'cos I'm black?

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#38. There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for.

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#39. You don't tell a boy that he is a boy. You simply act like a man.

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#40. Committees kill unconventional ideas for a living.

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#41. A broke man's lover doesn't feel 'loved' on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine's Day.

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#42. To leave a man's ego bigger, retweet him. To leave his faculty of reasoning better, challenge his tweet.

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#43. Being a 'good' parent is more about the parent, and, less about the 'supposedly-could-have-been-bad' child.

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#44. To increase the odds of being thanked, some people compliment some people; some make kids.

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#45. When a man's girlfriend's parents ask him what it is that he does for a living: they're not really concerned about him; they're concerned about their daughter's tummy.

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#46. The reason that man is seldom satisfied with his salary is that when it increases, he increases his expenses.

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#47. A writer's primary goal is to make sense. The bookstore's is to make cents.

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#48. 12% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to see better. 88% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to appear smarter.

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#49. As a subconscious attempt to add meaning or purpose to their life: The unemployed pray for a job; the retired pray for grandchildren.

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#50. Most people do not really want others to have freedom of speech, they just want others to be given the freedom to say want they want to hear.

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#51. It is better to read one intellectually challenging book every 12 months ... than to read 12 entertaining books every month.

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#52. A vagina is an uneducated woman's diploma.

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#53. Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper.

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#54. An enemy of your enemy might be your friend. But a friend of your friend isn't automatically your friend.

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#55. In a society where women are truly equal to men, a kid bred by a theist mother and an atheist father is born an agnostic. In a patriarchal society, the kid is automatically an atheist.

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#56. A 'normal person' is what is left after society has squeezed out all unconventional opinions and aspirations out of a human being.

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#57. Ownership breeds slavery: with every single thing that you acquire, comes a new worry of not losing that thing.

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#58. Spam is a waste of the receivers' time, and, a waste of the sender's optimism.

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#59. An education system is best belittled when the so-called educated gets hired by a company that's owned by a so-called dropout.

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#60. Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.

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#61. Thanks to his salary, an employee is free to eat whatever, wherever. However, because of his job, he is not free to eat whenever.

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#62. Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with disabilities.

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#63. We seldom look like the way we look like when people we like are looking.

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#64. In some cases, people with a body (whose size) they did not long for are victims of having a bank balance (whose size) they longed for.

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#65. Somebody is born.
Somebody goes to school.
Somebody learns to conform.
Somebody types a CV.
Somebody gets a job.
Somebody follows orders.
Somebody gets a golden watch.
And then, eventually,
Somebody dies.
And, a Nobody is buried.

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#66. If growing up means not seeing one's family and friends on the regular - all in the name of paying the bills, then growing up is overrated.

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#67. Because of the power that we have given money: The government would rather have taxpayers who do not vote, than voters who do not pay tax.

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#68. Happiness is a temporary recurring human experience.

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#69. Plagiarism is the fear of a blank page.

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#70. Faith does not make things happen. It merely breeds perseverance; which helps one persist in making things happen.

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#71. The boring thing about being interesting is that you bore boring people.

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#72. Thanks to the internet, you can provoke thoughts of those in mansions, from the uncomfortableness of your shack.

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#73. Self-employed people work where they live. Entrepreneurs live where they work.

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#74. A belief is an uneducated guess.

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#75. A true survivor is someone who, after 12+ years of being schooled, remains independent in their thinking.

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#76. A 'good man' is a male creature that survives the endless episodes that its woman spends complaining about women who she hates, and, women who hate her.

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#77. Whoever that came up with the idea of people having to have 'a dream' sure knew how to keep these creatures called human beings preoccupied.

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#78. Education is what they equip you with; just in case your dream doesn't workout.

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#79. Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break.

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#80. Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man's access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

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#81. A realist is a slave to reality.

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#82. A photograph is usually the photographer's subconscious attempted to possess the photographed moment.

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#83. Security is a double-edged sword: While a fence sure protects the fenced; it also imprisons the protected.

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#84. Speaking one's mind once is more honorable than quoting a thousand men.

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#85. Being yourself is easier than trying to be someone else. The former requires no effort.

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#86. In a materialistic society, man is likely to value the opinion of a rich man over that of a poor one; even when coming to opinions that have absolutely nothing to do with moneymaking.

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#87. An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

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#88. One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks.

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#89. 98% of the things said by a drunk man are true; 98% of those said by a horny man aren't.

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#90. Rich people read their bills. Poor people dread theirs.

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#91. Time limps when you are not having fun.

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#92. Dating is a man-made ideology: if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, one would either be in a relationship, or, six feet under.

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#93. Retirement is a stage where an employer discards an employee that he cannot exploit further.

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#94. Primary purposes of a mirror: (1) To help civilized men realize their imperfections, and, (2) To help the imperfect hide their imperfections.

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#95. Self-employment killed the weekend.

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#96. Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.

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#97. Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband's girlfriend.

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#98. A genius is a grown-up that did not grow up.

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#99. Man is more likely to believe an opinion that he wanted to hear ... than a fact that he wishes was an opinion.

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#100. For their holidays: the rich go see the world; the poor go see their parents.

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