Misattributed Mark Twain Quotes

#1. In the first act get your principal character up a tree; in the second act, throw stones at him; in the third, get him down gracefully.

Anonymous

#2. Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Benjamin Franklin Wade

#3. Aging is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Anonymous

#4. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

#5. Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Laurence J. Peter

#6. Women bestow on friendship only what they borrow from love.

Nicolas Chamfort

#7. Your closest and your most dedicated fans will be your ultimate test. They will test you.

Chuck D

#8. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Mark Twain

#9. Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?

Frank Scully

#10. Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

Narcotics Anonymous

#11. To some extent, at least, you have to shield children from what you know and drip-feed information to them. Sometimes that is kindly meant, and sometimes not.

Kazuo Ishiguro

#12. They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

Stephen Colbert

#13. The thing that got me closest to doing Kermit was remembering what Jim did when he was doing Kermit. When he would do Kermit, there were certain faces that he made. There was a certain way he stood, a certain kind of body language that he had.

Steve Whitmire

#14. Words can carry any burden we wish. All that's required is agreement and a tradition upon which to build.

Frank Herbert

#15. There are three types of lies
lies, damn lies, and statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli

#16. We have to adopt a wider perspective, and always find common things between the people of north, east, south, and west. Conflict comes from the basis of differencs.

Dalai Lama