Top 100 Mindy Kaling Quotes
#1. Mindy Kaling gets her own line in the acknowledgments, as previously negotiated by her representatives. Thanks, Mindy. I love you and you're the best.
B.J. Novak
#2. All of a sudden Mindy [Kaling] was writing on The Office and had sold a TV show. When we'd try to write shows, we'd jokingly call the word documents "Hit Show." We just couldn't crack the code.
Jake M. Johnson
#4. Personally, I, Mindy Kaling want to spend like 80 percent of my life hanging out with women.
Mindy Kaling
#5. Who is this invisible antiterrorist? It's me, Mindy Kaling. I was hiding behind Cee Lo's fur coat, and no one saw me.
Mindy Kaling
#6. When I have time to sit and reflect on the different situations that I face every day, I'll be able to speak more succinctly about the challenges as a woman.
Mindy Kaling
#7. I think that's the lesson of this story: you never know what is going to happen.
Mindy Kaling
#8. I am the kind of person that is drawn to colors against my will.
Mindy Kaling
#9. There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes
Mindy Kaling
#10. In my line of work every man wears exactly one outfit khakis, a late night with Jimmy Fallon t-shirt, and a hooded sweatshirt. If you don't people think you're a scientologist and no one will eat lunch with you.
Mindy Kaling
#11. Maybe you accidentally bought this thinking it was the Malala book.
Mindy Kaling
#12. I know a lot of people think of me and they like, oh that girl is really sexy, that girl is really put together, she would never do something as unladylike as a beet eating competition.
Mindy Kaling
#13. What I'd really like to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity.
Mindy Kaling
#15. As a kid it's adorable to have a gap in your teeth. But then, because of the shifting in my mouth, I started whistling through it, and as a 32-year-old woman, whistling while you speak in sort of annoying.
Mindy Kaling
#16. I've always had that chip on my shoulder. I've just always been super hard on myself.
Mindy Kaling
#17. There is no difference between Ripley from Alien and any Katherine Heigl character.
Mindy Kaling
#18. Is this a generation of orphans who are going to the improv to do stand-up?
Mindy Kaling
#19. As it is, I guess I find "Jack & Diane" a little disgusting. As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all.
Mindy Kaling
#20. The Tweets that I have written that are most popular are the ones that are the kind of universal girly concerns and observations.
Mindy Kaling
#21. Not getting Lasik at this point is like being that girl in 2006 who didn't have a cell phone.
Mindy Kaling
#22. And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves.
Mindy Kaling
#23. Bribes and boy bands. That's all you need to be a babysitter.
Mindy Kaling
#24. I skipped out of the Fox lot, threw my Keds back on, resisted the temptation to go over to the Simpsons building and take selfies with the Bart Simpson topiary,
Mindy Kaling
#25. 7. Have one great cologne that's not from the drugstore. Just one. Wear very little of it, all the time. I cannot tell you how sexy it is to be enveloped in a hug by a man whose smell you remember. Then, anytime I smell that cologne, I think of you.
Mindy Kaling
#26. The great thing about true best friends is that when you go MIA for a few months, they inquire but they don't press. Best friends know the power of infatuation but also how quickly it dissipates. You just have to wait it out. And then afterward, tease them about it for decades.
Mindy Kaling
#27. When I was twenty-five, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I'll call Peter Parker. I'm calling him Peter Parker because the actual guy's name was also alliterative, and because, well, it's my book and I'll name a guy I dated after Spider-Man's alter ego if I want to.
Mindy Kaling
#28. Don't fall into the trap of thinking about politics in your workplace too much. Just work hard, be cheerful, ignore distractions.
Mindy Kaling
#29. I'm not overweight. I flucuate between chubby and curvy.
Mindy Kaling
#30. Neither of us gets to be the princess all the time.
Mindy Kaling
#31. My version of an Irish exit has an air of deception to it, because it includes my asking loudly, "Where's the bathroom?" and making theatrical looking-around gestures like a lost foreign tourist. But then, instead of finding the bathroom, I sneakily grab my coat and leave.
Mindy Kaling
#32. People who are good at stand-up, they sort of seem to have to do it. Something within them makes them have to go on the road.
Mindy Kaling
#33. I love you, Mindy! Mindy, look at me, believe me!"
"I don't?
"Why????"
"Because you love me until you don't.
Mindy Kaling
#34. If I'm going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess, right?
Mindy Kaling
#36. I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween.
Mindy Kaling
#37. You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face - who will love them now?
Mindy Kaling
#38. Something that's happened recently is that I don't beat myself up about stuff.
Mindy Kaling
#39. I'm getting made fun of because I used to be fat? The laws of bullying allow you to be cruel even when the victim had made strides for improvement? This is when I realized that bullies have no code of conduct.
Mindy Kaling
#40. We always think of a diet with a big groan. But I think diets are fun. I think it is an American pastime for a lot of women.
Mindy Kaling
#41. I'm the kind of person who becomes silent when I get scared, because I hope Death will not notice me if I am very still and very quiet. It has worked well so far.
Mindy Kaling
#42. I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.
Mindy Kaling
#43. All I want to do is be a gay icon. I was reading Lady Gaga's twitter, because she has like 12 million followers, or something like that. I feel like she has fans, gay, straight, bi, who would throw themselves off a building for her.
Mindy Kaling
#44. My mom always used to say, "You can't say I love you before you can say I." And I think that sort of makes sense.
Mindy Kaling
#45. It used to be that you had to make female TV characters perfect so no one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and flawed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different.
Mindy Kaling
#46. On TV I loved Mickey Mouse, but when I met the actual real-life Mickey, or rather, his impersonator, and he tried to hug me in his warm, fuzzy suit, I recoiled in fear.
Mindy Kaling
#47. I must have been 10 or 11, but anything Dana Carvey ever did, I just really loved. He was on for a long time, I don't really know when that era was. I could watch Dana Carvey with my parents, they loved him too. They loved all his characters.
Mindy Kaling
#48. I have crushes on celebrities or people I meet or see in the coffee shop, and every day I fall in love with three people simply because they said one funny thing or appeared to me in a certain way.
Mindy Kaling
#49. I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.
Mindy Kaling
#50. When I watch roasts, I actually feel physically uncomfortable, like when I see a crow feast on a squirrel that has been hit by a car buy has not stopped moving yet.
Mindy Kaling
#51. So things were coming together nicely for me to embark on a full-fledged depression. One good thing about New York is that most people function daily while in a low-grade depression.
Mindy Kaling
#52. Sometimes I eavesdrop on people. I could rationalize it - oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I'm writing - but it's basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I'm at: Am I normal?
Mindy Kaling
#53. Bennifer was so big it was as though two people had never been in love before, and they had discovered it.
Mindy Kaling
#54. Woody Allen is really the ultimate. I love that he believed in himself enough to do what he did. And I have that same feeling - that there's nobody that looks like me in movies, nobody would cast me as a romantic lead, but I want to do it and I feel confident that I can.
Mindy Kaling
#55. I've always loved clothes. Like any normal woman, I would see a dress, buy it, rip the tags off with my teeth, save the buttons for ten to twelve years in a drawer, and wear it to work.
Mindy Kaling
#56. Full-on All-Night Sex-a-thon is also the name of my debut hip-hop album.
Mindy Kaling
#57. I feel the same way about clothes as I do about food. I want everything,
Mindy Kaling
#58. I don't really like organizations where people are "deemed" things.
Mindy Kaling
#59. Write your own part. It is the only way I've gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands. It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.
Mindy Kaling
#60. I have a great job writing for 'The Office,' but, really, all television writers do is dream of one day writing movies. I'll put it this way: At the Oscars the most famous person in the room is, like, Angelina Jolie. At the Emmys the huge exciting celebrity is Bethenny Frankel. You get what I mean.
Mindy Kaling
#61. More than half the questions I am asked are about the politics of the way I look
Mindy Kaling
#62. I can't have a big breakfast or a big lunch because I get very lethargic, and then I get really cranky. I eat, but I have to eat small, healthful amounts of food.
Mindy Kaling
#64. For lunch I usually have something hearty like a burger or tacos. I have always believed lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. People who say breakfast should be the biggest meal are insane. You can't have dessert at breakfast.
Mindy Kaling
#65. I got a text. It was Will, on Air Force One, about to take off back to Washington: I should've kissed you. That's on me.
Mindy Kaling
#66. I happen to believe that no one inherently deserves anything, except basic human rights, and not to have to watch an ad before you watch a trailer on YouTube.
Mindy Kaling
#67. A bunch of unearned trophies around the house would make me hooked on awards, which is bad in general, but especially bad if you don't deserve them. The whole experience made me want to win another trophy, but win it for actually doing something great.
Mindy Kaling
#68. the Yankees were playing my hometown Red Sox on TV and I lost my cool at a guy who was loudly dissing them. I yelled, "Derek Jeter is baseball's Hitler!" This was in New York City. In a room full of Jewish sports fans. I don't even really like baseball that much! I have problems.
Mindy Kaling
#69. THEY KIDNAP AND MURDER MY HUSBAND ON OUR HONEYMOON My new husband and I are vacationing in Buenos Aires.
Mindy Kaling
#70. I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd.
Mindy Kaling
#71. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.
Mindy Kaling
#72. Directing is exhausting, but not for the actual directing part, when you say "Action!" and give creative notes. As a director, the exhausting part is that you are a professional answer-machine.
Mindy Kaling
#73. To have a complete outfit designed, for me, is easier than trying to find pieces that work together.
Mindy Kaling
#74. Truthfully, I guess I would like to be remembered as a great writer and a kind person. I wouldn't mind if an expensive bag were named after me, like Jane Birkin.
Mindy Kaling
#75. I know many friends who loved their sororities. I wasn't traumatized. I was just bored.
Mindy Kaling
#76. People talk about mumblecore but I prefer bumblecore, hyper-realistic bee movies about how bees really are.
Mindy Kaling
#77. It would be disingenuous of me to blanket-ly love everything a woman has produced simply to make a statement that we're all in this together. No. We're in Hollywood trying to be competitive, and get numbers, have our eyes on the Nielsens and things like that.
Mindy Kaling
#78. I think references, where they fit organically, are great. It's great to do a show that's real and relatable, and so much of what is real, is using real things and instances that are specific. Specificity is the best tool you can have, as a writer.
Mindy Kaling
#79. My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I've ever had in my life.
Mindy Kaling
#80. I always wanted the reboot of Ghostbusters to be four girl-ghostbusters.
Mindy Kaling
#81. This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink. If you're reading this book every night for months, something is not right.
Mindy Kaling
#82. Doug appeared, clad in an Affliction waffle-knit tee and True Religion jeans. It was 2006, so this was a sign of great success.
Mindy Kaling
#83. Um, Mindy is much less like Elizabeth Bennet than she is a combination of Carrie Bradshaw and Eric Cartman.
Mindy Kaling
#84. Listen, my body is attracted to your body but when you speak it makes my brain angry.
Mindy Kaling
#85. Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away.
Mindy Kaling
#86. When I pick songs for karaoke, I have three concerns: (1) What will this song say about me? (2) How will I sound singing it? and (3) How will it make people feel?
Mindy Kaling
#87. I love romantic comedies. I feel almost sheepish writing that, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years or so that admitting you like these movies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. But that has not stopped me from watching them.
Mindy Kaling
#88. My understanding of the way sex scenes work is that you're surrounded by crew, and you're cold, and you have to do it eight times 'cause they didn't get the lighting. It doesn't sound pleasant, but you think that actors actually enjoy it?
Mindy Kaling
#89. I especially like eavesdropping on women my age. Besides being titillating, it also helps me gauge where I'm at in comparison.
Mindy Kaling
#90. I don't ever remember being able to debate with my parents. Even though I thought of myself as a very bright kid, I couldn't be vocal in that way.
Mindy Kaling
#91. No one ever wants to hear about how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't a conversation. It'll never lead anywhere.
Mindy Kaling
#92. One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I'm 'a good friend, but not that great.
Mindy Kaling
#93. Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
Mindy Kaling
#94. We, as consumers, are not completely satisfied with our scrutiny of women's appearances in TV and film. We also find it enjoyable to pit women against each other in fashion Hunger Games.
Mindy Kaling
#95. I have a whole system down for returning online shopping: a tape gun, a printer for return labels. That has replaced traditional window shopping in my life, as I've gotten busier.
Mindy Kaling
#96. But one thing I will impart to my children is: If you're scared of something, that isn't a sign that you have to do it. It probably means you shouldn't do it.
Mindy Kaling
#97. True love is singing karaoke 'under pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.
Mindy Kaling
#98. It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
Mindy Kaling
#99. I've worked in television for 10 years straight. If I were a man, it wouldn't be considered strange [to have confidence] at all.
Mindy Kaling
#100. No matter how good you have it, it's cool to want more.
Mindy Kaling
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