Top 72 Master Disciple Quotes
#1. Smartass Disciple: Master, if you are so good, can you drive a car with your eyes closed?
Master of Stupidity: Thou shall not break the rules of drive safely.
Thou shall not tempt the police as well.
Toba Beta
#2. Smartass Disciple: Master, tell me what is it beyond this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: No 'space' in no 'gravity'. No 'thing' in spaceless.
Toba Beta
#3. A disciple was one day recalling how Buddha , Jesus , Mohammed were branded as rebels and heretics by their contemporaries. Said the Master, Nobody can be said to have attained the pinnacle of Truth until a thousand sincere people have denounced him for blasphemy .
Anthony De Mello
#4. Smartass Disciple: Master, you keep preaching the truth. They don't listen.
Master of Stupidity: Oh that's not bad. That attitude keeps us in the business.
Toba Beta
#5. Smartass Disciple: But, you said that it's the truth??
Master of Stupidity: O Yes. That is yesterday's truth.
Toba Beta
#6. Said a disciple, 'I don't trade my love for money.'
Said the Master, 'isn't itas bad - or worse - that you trade it for love?
Anthony De Mello
#7. Smartass Disciple: Master, I don't need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth.
Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first.
Toba Beta
#8. Smartass Disciple: Master, where is exactly the edge of this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: Edge is wherever the absence of universal gravity.
Toba Beta
#9. Smartass Disciple: Please teach me about the truth, master.
Master of Stupidity: Hmmm ... tell me about your sexperience!
Toba Beta
#10. Smartass Disciple: Why men don't ready yet to join the intergalactic confederation?
Master of Stupidity: Men could make them laugh to death. It'd be too risky for them.
Toba Beta
#11. Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to?
Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else.
Toba Beta
#12. And he has the teacher's fear of being surpassed by the student, the master's dread of having the disciple discredit his work. (Not that I am in any real sense Nemur's student or disciple as Burt is.) I guess Nemur's fear of being revealed as a man walking on stilts among giants is understandable.
Daniel Keyes
#13. Smartass Disciple: Master, we should not spend our time to low life like them.
Master of Stupidity: If I don't, then how should I lead men like you to be wiser?
Toba Beta
#14. I have been my own disciple and my own master. And I have been a good disciple but a bad master.
Antonio Porchia
#15. Smartass Disciple: Master, how do I know that I am not dreaming right now ?
Master of Stupidity: You don't. Only those who see you're dreaming can tell it.
Toba Beta
#16. Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow annoying me.
Master of Stupidity: Only as long as you stay tuned for pissed-off channel.
Toba Beta
#17. This is a gathering of Lovers.
In this gathering
there is no high, no low,
no smart, no ignorant,
no special assembly,
no grand discourse,
no proper schooling required.
There is no master,
no disciple.
Rumi
#18. The seeker says, "I do not know." That takes honesty. The master says, "I do not know." That takes a mystic's mind that knows things through non-knowing. The disciple says, "I know." That takes ignorance, in the form of borrowed knowledge.
Anthony De Mello
#19. A disciple, in his reverence for the Master, looked upon him as God incarnate. "Tell me, O Master," he said, "why you have come into this world." "To teach fools like you to stop wasting their time worshiping Masters.
Anthony De Mello
#20. Smartass Disciple: Master, I believe that the truth will prevail at the end.
Master of Stupidity: No 'the end' for the truth. 'Prevail' is something else.
Toba Beta
#21. Smartass Disciple: Master, why there was no second chance in garden of eden?
Master of Stupidity: Of course. Perhaps, human can only enjoy one-time virginity.
Toba Beta
#22. Smartass Disciple: Master, how do you heal the broken heart?
Master of Stupidity: It isn't a disease need to be healed. It's life.
Toba Beta
#23. Master: When a human being asks 'WHO AM I?', the honest answer is eternal silence.
Disciple: Do we make noise to feel that silence, Master?
Saurabh Sharma
#24. Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?
Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.
Toba Beta
#25. Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to be the better me by forgetting my past.
Master of Stupidity: If you just forget it, how would you measure you're better?
Toba Beta
#26. Smartass Disciple: Master, what did you do to earn wisdom ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I forget. Shit happened, life goes on.
Toba Beta
#27. Every master has but one disciple, and that one becomes unfaithful to him, for he too is destined for master-ship.
Friedrich Nietzsche
#28. Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to eradicate all corruptions in this world.
Master of Stupidity: Let it be a bit! Otherwise you'll make us jobless for good.
Toba Beta
#29. Smartass Disciple: Master, can you trust this bank to keep your money safe?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I can put a bit less distrust on this bank than others.
Toba Beta
#30. If Jesus had to suffer, why would we think ourselves exempt? After all, as He explained, "a disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master" (Matthew 10:24).
David Jeremiah
#31. Smartass Disciple: If you are really a master, then make me see miracles!
Master of Stupidity: Go to sleep and dream, then wake up thirty years later!
Toba Beta
#32. Smartass Disciple: Master, what do say about the truth itself ?
Master of Stupidity: Like sex, no fun anymore if all is revealed.
Toba Beta
#33. Smartass Disciple: Does stupidity a sin?
Master of Stupidity: No stupidity, no sin.
Toba Beta
#34. A master who cannot bow to his disciple cannot bow to Buddha.
Shunryu Suzuki
#35. Nothing avails: every master has but one disciple, and that one becomes unfaithful to him, for he too is destined for mastership. [408]
Friedrich Nietzsche
#36. Smartass Disciple: Why do arrogant people like to say complex words ?
Master of Stupidity: Ask them straight! You'll get a simple scary version.
Toba Beta
#37. I was talking to a Zen master the other day and he said, "You shall be my disciple."I looked at him and said, "Who was Buddha's teacher?" He looked at me in a very odd way for a moment and then he burst into laughter and handed me a piece of clover.
Alan Watts
#38. Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you've told me the whole truth?
Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I'd lose you and my job]
Toba Beta
#39. Smartass Disciple: Master, why heaven is up there and hell is down there ?
Master of Stupidity: If otherwise, it wouldn't be celebrated as ascension day.
Toba Beta
#40. Smartass Disciple: Master, I'm going to change the whole world.
Master of Stupidity: It changes within you. It changes without you.
Toba Beta
#41. Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?
Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept.
Toba Beta
#42. Smartass Disciple: Master, why God let human did sins in the beginning?
Master of Stupidity: If the saviour must come, why should He prevent that?
Toba Beta
#43. Smartass Disciple: Master, you should teach people not to do war to each other.
Master of Stupidity: I should teach people how to win their minds of their wars.
Toba Beta
#44. The Master is nothing but a disciple who would like to help others find their mastery
Ivan Figueroa-Otero
#45. Smartass Disciple: Master, what will happen to the men right after their death ?
Master of Stupidity: They live with a same or different part of their consciousness.
Toba Beta
#46. Smartass Disciple: Master, where will you go after your soul leaves your body?
Master of Stupidity: What makes you think a soul will go elsewhere physically?
Toba Beta
#47. Smartass Disciple: Where were all things before the time began?
Master of Stupidity: What was the time before all things created?
Toba Beta
#48. A disciple asked, "Who is a Master?" The Master replied, "Anyone to whom it is given to let go of the ego. Such a person's life is then a masterpiece.
Anthony De Mello
#49. Smartass Disciple: I've been searching for so long.I still can't find the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Until you've lost and felt desperate, you won't be found.
Toba Beta
#50. Smartass Disciple: Master, why should people love each other ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, orgasm is felt better than kill each other.
Toba Beta
#51. Smartass Disciple: Master, please show me the way to the enlightenment.
Master of Stupidity: Walk with me! [but I won't let you try to surpass me].
Toba Beta
#52. Smartass Disciple: Master, I feel really really confused about the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Only confused? Walk in my shoes then you tell me.
Toba Beta
#53. Suffering, then, is the badge of true discipleship. The disciple is not above his master. Following Christ means passio passiva, suffering because we have to suffer.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
#54. A Master who cannot bow to a disciple cannot bow to Buddha.
Shunryu Suzuki
#55. Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you?
Master of Stupidity: I wasn't thinking. I was having sex when it came to my mind.
Toba Beta
#56. Smartass Disciple: Three years! I've listened you preaching just for this silly truth?
Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth?
Toba Beta
#57. Smartass Disciple : Master, why you keep telling about the truth? Nobody hears.
Master of Stupidity : O Yea. They hear but don't listen. Anyway, no fun in silent.
Toba Beta
#58. Smartass Disciple: Master, why do some people so stubborn and unruly ?
Master of Stupidity: Only when you want them do according to your wish.
Toba Beta
#59. Smartass Disciple: What were said for things before the time exist?
Master of Stupidity: No words to be said by no man at no time at all.
Toba Beta
#60. Smartass Disciple: My master, please show me how to be a wise man!
Master of Stupidity: I can't. But I can show you how to do something wisely.
Toba Beta
#61. A disciple having asked for a definition of charity, the Master said LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Confucius
#62. What is my identity ?" "Nothing," said the Master. "You mean that I am an emptiness and a void?" said the incredulous disciple. "Nothing that can be labeled." said the Master.
Anthony De Mello
#63. Smartass Disciple: How the hell do we find the truth ?
Master of Stupidity: Just seek it with hope it'll find you.
Toba Beta
#64. A true master will not deceive an able disciple. You are hampered by the limits you set and no limit can be set on skill.
Wayne Gerard Trotman
#65. Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn't judge others?
Master of Stupidity: Don't! Unless you are paid for it.
Toba Beta
#67. Smartass Disciple: Master, what are you talking about? None of us understand!
Master of Stupidity: Be patient! It is not ended yet. The end justifies the means.
Toba Beta
#68. There were many words piled up inside my chest, stories waiting to be told. I wanted to hand all this knowledge to one other person, neither a master nor a disciple. I sought an equal - a companion.
Elif Shafak
#69. A disciple said to him, "I am ready, in the quest for God , to give up anything: wealth, friends, family, country, life itself. What else can a person give up?" The Master calmly replied, "One's beliefs about God.
Anthony De Mello
#70. Smartass Disciple: Which one was first created, time or things?
Master of Stupidity: No things, no changes. No changes, no time.
Toba Beta
#71. It's hard to swallow when people say, "Oh my God, you're a master of something." I say, "No, I'm actually a student of that. I could turn you on to websites for 25 masters, and you'll quickly see that I am their disciple."
Nick Offerman
#72. Devotion has its own strange ways. It is not something rational, logical, something that can be explained to you. But it is something, if you go on growing from a student into a disciple, from a disciple into a devotee, and you come so close to the master that there is no distinction at all.
Rajneesh
