Magic Bleeds Quotes

#1. Finally, thank you very much to Jeaniene Frost and Jill Myles. This book does have sex in it. Please don't hit me anymore."

~Ilona Andrews in the Acknowledgements section of Magic Bleeds

Ilona Andrews

#2. He'd laugh in my face, then I'd slice him to ribbons and then he'd break my neck

Ilona Andrews

#3. I'll call you," he repeated.
"If you call me, I won't pick up the phone."
"You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone.

Ilona Andrews

#4. He glued the chair to my ass."
Silence.
"Is it still ... attached?"
"I can't get it off.

Ilona Andrews

#5. It's like The Mold in Dr. Florey's Coat, about the discovery of penicillin. Out of these strange accidents come huge discoveries. A certain purple bleeds into red and all of a sudden you have something unexpected.

Carly Simon

#6. Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.

Ilona Andrews

#7. The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.

Ilona Andrews

#8. The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey." "You're drinking tea a honey badger made," Jim said. "What did you expect?

Ilona Andrews

#9. Some people got vicious Dobermans. I got a shaved attack poodle in a black sweater. His tough, spawn-of-hell image had taken a fatal blow, but at least he would be warm.

Ilona Andrews

#10. Well, check this out. Mine is bigger.

Ilona Andrews

#11. Hold your horses. I'm coming." ...
"From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously."
The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.

Ilona Andrews

#12. You slept with Curran and you didn't tell me? I'm your best friend."
"It didn't come up."
"How disappointing for you."
Ha-ha. "That's not what I meant.

Ilona Andrews

#13. Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. "Screw you!"
"Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way."
"Whatever!

Ilona Andrews

#14. I'm counting to ten in my head."
"Is it helping?"
"No."
"It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way?"
"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Ilona Andrews

#15. Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.

Ilona Andrews

#16. They tended towards the simple pleasures in life: drinking, whoring and fighting, preferably all three at once.

Ilona Andrews

#17. It's a party house."
"I hope for your sake it's a very tame party." If he brought me to some sort of sex orgy, he would fly right through one of those pretty windows, headfirst.

Ilona Andrews

#18. Next to me, Saiman smiled.
We all want what we can't have, Kate. I want you, you want love, and he wants to break my neck.

Ilona Andrews

#19. I looked at the canine companion. Me cookies. You stay.

Ilona Andrews

#20. When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough.

Ilona Andrews

#21. On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.

Ilona Andrews

#22. I've read your summary."
"And?"
"It's not incompetent."
Be still, my heart, so I don't faint from such faint phrase. "Did you expect it to be written in crayon?

Ilona Andrews

#23. Hi, Your Majesty, we drugged your love muffin and then let her walk out into the dark, in the snow. Her apartment is destroyed and we're not sure where she is ...

Ilona Andrews

#24. Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. "You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mouthing off."
Did he expect anything different? "Hey, I didn't kick or punch you in the throat. I consider this progress. And you haven't choked me again, which is some sort of record for you ...

Ilona Andrews

#25. I know it may come as a shock, but it's sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you don't wait, you may have to deal with pesky criminal charges like kidnapping and rape.

Ilona Andrews

#26. And you expect me to commute two hours each way from the Keep to the Order." I kept my voice mild. "I suppose I won't be needing my job, my house, or my clothes anymore."
"I didn't say that. Although let me get back to you on the clothes. It's still under consideration.

Ilona Andrews

#27. The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels"
"It's me," Curran said. "I - "
I hung up.

Ilona Andrews

#28. Getting a lecture on restraint from the woman who threw a hissy fit and blew up Babylon.

Ilona Andrews

#29. I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?"
"He became engulfed in fire."
"Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'?

Ilona Andrews

#30. Dear rabbis, I'm so sorry, I nuked your circle dude. Here is his head as a souvenir. Yeah, that would fly.

Ilona Andrews