Top 100 Leah Raeder Quotes
#1. Nobody knows how to be a grown-up. We're all just pretending for each other.
Leah Raeder
#2. Let the sheep bleat. Their own noises soothe them.
Leah Raeder
#3. This world is run by people who know somebody.
Leah Raeder
#4. But this is who you are. You're a liar, and a thief, and a junkie. I don't hate you, Mom. I'm disappointed in you.
Leah Raeder
#5. You said you didn't know how to have a grown-up relationship. Well, here's your first lesson, Maise. When it gets hard, you don't run away.
Leah Raeder
#6. The removal of all boundaries, all distractions, leaving us with nothing but each other - scary. What kind of people would we be without secrecy and desperation?
Leah Raeder
#7. His lips were soft and tinged with bitter earthy beer, and he kissed me gently,
Leah Raeder
#8. Our gazes struck like flint and steel. And I realized that gunsmoke smell wasn't ozone. It was us. We burned.
Leah Raeder
#9. In retrospect, you know all the answers. You know the shadowy throes of your heart.
Leah Raeder
#10. Point is, nobody knows what to do with this life. And the second you think you do, your life will flip upside down.
Leah Raeder
#11. It blurred the lines between lust and inspiration in a way we've always intuitively known they should be blurred, because desire underlies every act of creation.
Leah Raeder
#12. I hide myself in my words. There's a cipher, and one half is in my writing and the other half is in me, and if you have them both then you'll understand everything. Strangers think it's just a story, but you'll know what's real. You'll know who I really am.
Leah Raeder
#13. It looks like a parallelogram fucking an isosceles triangle, I said.
Leah Raeder
#14. That's not who you are," Blythe said.
"Who am I?"
"My little wolf." She traced my jaw, the ridge of my knuckles. "All teeth and claws. Cunning, and fierce, and insatiable.
Leah Raeder
#15. I know what you were searching for. The same thing I want.
To live without pain.
But the only way to live without pain is to live without feeling. Or to not live.
Leah Raeder
#16. Suicide isn't really about death, though. It's about change. Release.
Leah Raeder
#17. I dream of you in colors that don't exist.
Leah Raeder
#18. Sometimes people set themselves up to be hurt by a situation, instead of hurting themselves directly. To absolve the blame.
Leah Raeder
#19. Some days I didn't eat. I confused the gnawing in my belly for hunger and fed it, but it only made me sick. Strange how much missing someone feels like hunger. How the hole they leave behind is so much larger than they were. How it grows even bigger, feeding on you.
Leah Raeder
#20. In a typical college romance novel, this was the moment I would've been waiting for. The validation of all my shame and suffering at the hands of other men: a beautiful boy loved me. What had been done to my body didn't ruin me for Mr. Right. Zippity-fucking-doo-dah.
Leah Raeder
#21. Sometimes all you know about where you're going is that it's away from where you are.
Leah Raeder
#22. His hand circled the back of my neck. "I need you tonight."
Has there ever been a more effective line in the history of pickup lines than "I need you?
Leah Raeder
#23. I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul and all that jazz.
Leah Raeder
#24. Did you see her?" I said. He raised his eyebrows. "The real me." "She's right here," he said, and kissed me.
Leah Raeder
#25. You can fall in love again with someone you're already in love with. It's like waking from a dream within a dream and finding another layer, the colors more vivid, the light more lucid, the fantasy more real. Being in love is an endless loop of waking to reverie.
Leah Raeder
#26. I can't hold on to you. You're like a shooting star. Just a trail of fire in my hands.
Leah Raeder
#27. A bitch is a woman who gets what she wants.
Leah Raeder
#28. Are you scared?" he said into my hair.
"Yeah."
"What scares you?"
I kept my eyes on the ceiling.
"That this is too good. That it won't last. That you'll leave.
Leah Raeder
#29. You can call it love, or you can call it freefall. They're pretty much the same thing.
Leah Raeder
#30. Here's a history of the world: Girl meets boy. Girl fucks boy. Girl gets scared and skips out on boy. Boy builds civilization to lure girl back.
Leah Raeder
#31. The funny thing was that his kiss had felt like fucking me, and his fucking me felt like being kissed, everywhere, every bit of my body unbearably warm and buzzing.
Leah Raeder
#32. Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me omg boner.
Leah Raeder
#33. We'd never know what was real and what wasn't about each other. That was the beauty of our shared fiction.
Leah Raeder
#34. This is ridiculous," I said, trying to laugh it off. "I never cry at movies."
"Because you've never been in love," he said.
Leah Raeder
#35. I wouldn't have to explain that I fall in love with minds, not genders or body parts.
Leah Raeder
#36. Mom used to say that if you listen, people will tell you exactly how to hurt them. Because part of us wants to be hurt. We want to know how strong we really are.
Leah Raeder
#37. But Mom's shamelessness and weakness of will had led me to become the opposite: stubborn and proud. Too proud to ask for help, even when I needed it most. Especially when I needed it most.
Leah Raeder
#38. I never wanted you until I had you." She looked at me now, her breath ruffling my hair. "And then I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore. You're the dark thing that was in me. I set you free.
Leah Raeder
#39. Thanks, Dad, for leaving a huge void in my life that Freud says has to be filled with dick.
Leah Raeder
#40. This is what being in love feels like, Wesley. Gratitude. Gratitude that you exist in this fucked-up, beautiful universe.
Leah Raeder
#41. I'm not giving up my future for a man."
"Even a man you're in love with?"
"Even a man I'm in love with.
Leah Raeder
#42. What a strange world where we pay people to listen to our problems, and pay them to fuck themselves while we watch, and pay them to save us.
Leah Raeder
#43. Some girls had mothers who never called them beautiful but swore their love up and down. It's all the same, really. All bullshit.
Leah Raeder
#44. Maybe it wasn't solely about getting off. Maybe it was the illusion of intimacy, of sharing a life with this girl you jerked off to.
Leah Raeder
#45. Statistically, we're doomed.
Statistically, everyone is doomed.
Leah Raeder
#46. I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed and sung me moonstruck, kissed me quite insane. And before you think that's cheesy,that's Sylvia Plath. Google her, young Padawan.
Leah Raeder
#47. Simplify what you see until it's only bones, essence, soul. That's the only way to understand what something really is.
Leah Raeder
#48. The clearest sign of coming catastrophe is when all the bad shit in your life suddenly stops. You're entering the eye of the shitstorm.
Leah Raeder
#49. Boys are so beautiful when they don't realize how powerful they are. When they hold it with quiet grace, oblivious to how easily they could rip the world apart.
Leah Raeder
#50. His eyes moved over me, but hovered mostly on my face. That was almost worse. Who am I without this? I thought. Without the seduction I wear like armor, without my bravado and cocksure confidence? Am I really just a little girl under it all?
Leah Raeder
#51. That's why we're just friends," Armin said, so softly I barely heard. "She can't fall in love, and I can't fall out.
Leah Raeder
#52. She was an uptight elitist bitch who considered fast food unworthy of being fed to dogs, but when she did something she did it wholeheartedly, with perverse gusto, as if to show she was so far beyond irony she'd circled back to authenticity.
Leah Raeder
#53. The world looks down on you, expects nothing from you because of the color of your skin and your mother's family name. They don't want you to fail. They want you to not even try. If you try, you will never disappoint me.
Leah Raeder
#54. So if we're both so happy, why are we sad?
Leah Raeder
#55. Strength is not in the body, it's in the mind. It doesn't lie in flexing your muscles and crushing those who oppose you. It lies in being the last one standing. By any means. At any cost.
Leah Raeder
#56. Just like in fairy tales, the wish wasn't worth the price
Leah Raeder
#57. You're never saying what you think you're saying.
Leah Raeder
#58. That's how you know someone loves you. When they want you to be happy even in the part of your life they'll never see. But right then I was too stuck in the moment, in the visceral pleasure of it all.
Leah Raeder
#59. Recklessness makes you act. Bravery is following through.
Leah Raeder
#60. If there's a better definition of love than mutual benevolent insanity, I haven't heard it.
Leah Raeder
#61. If I die, that's what they'll find in me. This face, inked in the surface of every cell.
Leah Raeder
#62. Angels trying to scar themselves, bored of perfection.
Leah Raeder
#63. And always, in my pocket, in my skin, in the back of my mind, the hollowness where he used to be. The empty circle where my finger used to fit into the ring. The crimson flakes and ruby dust strewn across the ledges of my ribs.
Leah Raeder
#64. You know, rust is just oxidation. The same chemical process as fire. Oxygen interacts with steel, electrons drift from one element to the other. So really, rust is a slow fire. Isn't that weird? Water causes something to burn.
Leah Raeder
#65. I felt like an animal in a cage being stared at by other animals, all of us anonymous, mindless, interchangeable.
Leah Raeder
#66. Seeing someone you once loved is like falling in love for the first time all over again.
Leah Raeder
#67. Wesley had called it self-destructive. Evan understood. It wasn't about flirting with death, like Mom. It was about wanting to live all the way to the seams of life.
Leah Raeder
#68. I saw his pupils dilating like a pulsing black heart. I saw every tremor of strain and pleasure that went through him. I watched what I did to him, how vulnerable he became as he gave himself to me ...
Leah Raeder
#69. That's another thing about lies: if you convince yourself they're true, they become true. A lie is a discrepancy of belief, not fact.
Leah Raeder
#70. Two boys, both in varsity football, kissing under the bleachers, muscular silhouettes merging against the deep purple sky. I wasn't the only one with a secret. In the grand scheme of things, my secret wasn't even as dangerous as some of theirs.
Leah Raeder
#71. I'm not over you. I dream about you every night. I watch that fucking video over and over just to hear your voice. Does that make you happy? Is that proof I cared?
Leah Raeder
#72. I couldn't tear my eyes from the window, wanting to drink in as much of St. Louis as I could, knowing somewhere out there, one of those infinitesimally small lights was him. I wondered if he'd look up and see the planes crossing the sky like shooting stars, knowing one of those lights was me.
Leah Raeder
#74. Sometimes we have to hurt the people we love to spare them a greater hurt.
Leah Raeder
#75. Everything was flame shades of tangerine and pomegranate, ripeness on the brink of decay, and when the wind rippled the leaves they looked like a mosaic of fire, like the walls of the Cathedral Basilica.
Leah Raeder
#76. If you're trying to avoid loss, there's no point in taking another breath, or letting your heart beat one more time. It all ends.
Leah Raeder
#77. This is mine, I thought as he fucked me. This body, this act, this man, all mine.
Leah Raeder
#78. I see the lights every night. It seems like the whole world has figured out how to be happy, but no one's letting me in on the secret.
Leah Raeder
#79. Okay, two weaknesses. I'm still supervillain material.
Leah Raeder
#80. But when I was alone I couldn't breathe. Everything feels like drowning except you. You're my oxygen.
Leah Raeder
#81. Anger is like that. Runs on its own fumes, devours itself voraciously, explosively, until one day there is no fire left. Only pure, cold, unbreakable hardness. Like the diamond core in me.
Leah Raeder
#82. I want all of you," I said. "Every part."
He whispered back, "It's yours.
Leah Raeder
#83. Okay, I should probably go. I don't want to stop, though. I can't stop with you. Come with me to St. Louis. Let's find happiness.
Leah Raeder
#84. I love you, I thought. If I was the only person truly alive that night, it was because of you. You made the world come alive for me and I love you, I love you, I love you.
Leah Raeder
#85. We sat in the shadows, full of unspeakable things.
Leah Raeder
#86. It's easy to see other women as enemies. But we're the only real allies we've got.
Leah Raeder
#87. I stood in the rain, watching his car go. A string tied to it looped around my heart and pulled tighter and tighter until it sheared clean through.
Leah Raeder
#88. I was too young to care about boring adult jobs. I was still testing out how my heart worked.
Leah Raeder
#89. Part of falling in love with someone is actually falling in love with yourself. Realizing that you're gorgeous, you're fearless and unpredictable, you're a firecracker spitting light, entrancing a hundred faces that stare up at you with starry eyes.
Leah Raeder
#90. Watched dusk fall in shades of blood and old bruises.
Leah Raeder
#91. Every dream is a pipe dream before someone achieves it.
Leah Raeder
#92. This world is so thick with ghosts it's a wonder anyone can breathe.
Leah Raeder
#93. We're the sun and moon, Blythe." "What does that mean?" "I turn invisible when you're out.
Leah Raeder
#94. Sometimes you feel things so much, so intensely, it becomes a new kind of numbness, the oblivion of overstimulation.
Leah Raeder
#95. Maybe people could fall in love without an identity crisis.
Leah Raeder
#97. But he just stared at my eyes, as if searching for a stray eyelash. A free wish.
Leah Raeder
#98. Then why'd you do it?"
"Jealousy," she said without hesitation. "It always comes down to something crude. Don't kid yourself, Keating. It's human nature.
Leah Raeder
#99. The first time it happens, it can be explained. Accident. Experiment. Fluke. Everything was confusing. The lines blurred.
The second time is when it really happens for the first time.
Leah Raeder
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