Top 100 Lawler Quotes
#1. In some ways Lawler is a conceptual Diane Arbus. She's a stalker who takes advantage of situations. She pulls back curtains, causing normal things to look freakish and the freakish to turn mundane.
Jerry Saltz
#2. Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!
Roddy Piper
#3. I'm Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because I have no self-esteem.
Santino Marella
#4. I don't know if Jerry Lawler got here in a plane, or a time machine.
Alex Riley
#5. Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler!
Santino Marella
#6. The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.
Jerry Lawler
#7. Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him.
Jerry Lawler
#8. I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.
Jerry Lawler
#9. You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns ... if she had two more legs.
Jerry Lawler
#10. You really can't worry about stuff you can't control ... You need to focus on getting where you need to be and not worry about what could have been and what should have been.
Robbie Lawler
#11. Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!
Jerry Lawler
#12. Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.
Jerry Lawler
#13. Her, Me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
Jerry Lawler
#14. When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"
Jerry Lawler
#15. OSHA had come in and looked at the channel 5 studios and it sort of had something to do with wrestling, but they found that there were some safety concerns that had to be addressed.
Jerry Lawler
#16. What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!
Jerry Lawler
#17. The sport in 2000 wasn't as big as it is now [in 2008].
Robbie Lawler
#19. Cheating is only cheating when you get caught.
Jerry Lawler
#20. You don't really realize the effect those things have on you when you're growing up but then when you look back you can see how they molded you.
Robbie Lawler
#21. The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries.
Jerry Lawler
#22. Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.
Jerry Lawler
#23. Jim Ross you're a fine one to talk about how someone is dressed.
Jerry Lawler
#24. You lost weight? Look around, you'll find it.
Jerry Lawler
#25. I've been through a lot of ups and downs. Just willing to get back up and grind every day to try and get better.
Robbie Lawler
#27. I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.
Jerry Lawler
#28. I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally!
Jerry Lawler
#29. Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
Jerry Lawler
#30. Judging from what looks like the popularity of this classic wrestling show is that the people like what they have grown to know and love here in Memphis.
Jerry Lawler
#31. Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!
Jerry Lawler
#32. I got a little bit of the Marine mentality from my dad, I guess. You can't but help absorb the culture you're around.
Robbie Lawler
#33. There is an old adage: love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.
Jerry Lawler
#34. If Mark Henry was the Titanic, the iceberg would've sank!
Jerry Lawler
#35. It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.
Jerry Lawler
#36. The modern chicken is both a technological triumph and a poster child for all that is sad and nightmarish about our industrial agriculture. The most engineered creature in history is also the world's most commonly mistreated animal.
Andrew Lawler
#37. We just did a show in Providence, Rhode Island, and we got three puppy shots before we even got on the air, which was great. Although sometimes you get flashed by some puppies that you'd rather not see. They're more like mongrels.
Jerry Lawler
#38. I'm looking forward, that's all, I'm not looking backwards.
Robbie Lawler
#39. I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.
Jerry Lawler
#40. I'd like to retain Trish Stratus's services.
Jerry Lawler
#41. What's twelve inches long and hangs in front on ass, Mankind's tie.
Jerry Lawler
#42. Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.
Jerry Lawler
#43. In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.
Jerry Lawler
#44. Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Australia would be the place to live. It's the most Americanized country that I've ever seen in the world.
Jerry Lawler
#45. If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert.
Jerry Lawler
#46. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
Jerry Lawler
#47. What I've learned from those losses ... Priceless.
Robbie Lawler
#48. The only reason I lost to Aldo Montoya was the intoxicating fumes there were coming off his body from being around Jake Roberts.
Jerry Lawler
#49. One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.
Jerry Lawler
#50. Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.
Jerry Lawler
#51. Even in the losses, I always saw glimpses of something that kept me going.
Robbie Lawler
#52. Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.
Jerry Lawler
#53. Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.
Jerry Lawler
#55. Verbing Weirds Language only if you're expecting it to work in a simple way. This is a special case of the more general truth that Language Weirds.
John Lawler
#56. I just started training with the best fighters in the world trying to get better. I was a pretty good athlete so I did pretty well with the team and that gave me confidence that I would be able to compete with people.
Robbie Lawler
#57. I don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. I don't think that McMahon thinks the wrestling announcers really have that much to contribute the show.
Jerry Lawler
#58. I've seen a lot of real out-of-line attitudes since I have been in the WWF and those people are still there or are getting a second or third chance or something like that.
Jerry Lawler
#59. I lived in Iowa for pretty much the rest of my life, but I just moved to St. Louis and opened up a gym and MMA training center.
Robbie Lawler
#61. Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.
Jerry Lawler
#62. You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.
Jerry Lawler
#63. It's all about getting better and controlling the things that you can control, which is getting better day to day.
Robbie Lawler
#64. As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.
Jerry Lawler
#65. ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.
Jerry Lawler
#66. When it comes to Shawn Michaels, there's always a way.
Jerry Lawler
#67. Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.
Jerry Lawler
#68. Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.
Jerry Lawler
#69. Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.
Jerry Lawler
#70. It's almost like while you are working for the WWF everything is fine and good, but if you are no longer employed by them they want you to just drop off the face of the earth and it's like you never existed.
Jerry Lawler
#72. When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.
Jerry Lawler
#73. When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts!
Jerry Lawler
#74. When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.
Jerry Lawler
#75. I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.
Jerry Lawler
#76. This man can make a horror movie without makeup.
Jerry Lawler
#77. I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.
Jerry Lawler
#78. Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me.
Jerry Lawler
#80. I also watched boxing all the time and Tuesday Night Fights on USA and just kept hitting my heavy back in the garage.
Robbie Lawler
#81. Look at the attention the Godfather's getting! Kick my leg, J.R.; kick me in the leg!
Jerry Lawler
#83. I did a lot of smoker fights and fought pretty much every week since Pat wouldn't let me fight until he was sure I was ready. I was also boxing and so I had 30 unofficial fights or more of those.
Robbie Lawler
#84. A lot of military kids make a lot of moves but I only made the one, so it wasn't really an issue for me.
Robbie Lawler
#85. Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!
Jerry Lawler
#86. Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams.
Jerry Lawler
#87. Campuses are bubbles, artificial environments that insulate students from the life of the competitive marketplace. The more exact truth is that our campuses offer students the privileges of liberty without the corresponding responsibilities.
Peter Augustine Lawler
#88. A little sex on TV never hurt anyone ... unless you fall off!
Jerry Lawler
#90. I'd always done martial arts I was always interested in fighting.
Robbie Lawler
#91. I did start wrestling after I moved to Iowa, I think in the seventh grade. It's really a part of the Iowa culture so it's hard not to do it if you like sports.
Robbie Lawler
#92. Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon.
Jerry Lawler
#93. Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.
Jerry Lawler
#94. Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita!
Jerry Lawler
#95. I just try to keep getting better every day, and that's all I can do.
Robbie Lawler
#96. The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this Sunday
Very Intense Pain!
Jerry Lawler
#97. Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.
Jerry Lawler
#98. I had never thought about being a professional fighter but meeting Pat [ Militich ] and the guys just pushed me in that direction.
Robbie Lawler
#99. You know what they say in Arkansas ... manure happens.
Jerry Lawler
#100. If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.
Jerry Lawler
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