Kugel's Quotes

#1. So desperate was Kugel for things to turn out for the best, proclaimed Professor Jove, that he couldn't stop worrying about the worst. Hope, said Professor Jove, was Solomon Kugel's greatest failing.

Shalom Auslander

#2. Every Jew was the last Jew; Tevye the Terminal, every single one. Yet, Kugel couldn't help but observe, in all that time - no last Jew. There had been a last Assyrian. There had been a last Ammonite. There had been a last Babylonian, a last Mesopotamian, a last of the Mohicans. But no last Jew.

Shalom Auslander

#3. The universe is full of wonderful things, amazing opportunities. And you have to grab them with both hands and hope they never and.

Gareth Roberts

#4. I kind of like it up here, Kugel said. It's got a certain fatalistic charm, a certain je ne sais fucked.

Shalom Auslander

#5. What a world, thought Kugel; whoever you were, wherever you were, whatever time of the day or night, you could open your back door and call out I know you're out there motherfucker, and nine times out of ten you'd be right.

Shalom Auslander

#6. Hiding from genocide inside a Jew's attic, thought Kugel, is like hiding from a lion inside a gazelle.

Shalom Auslander

#7. Let him be floored, O Lord, thought Kugel.
Let him be stunned.
Let him be flabber-fucking-gasted.

Shalom Auslander

#8. The Kugels, Kugel hated to admit, might just have to, in the event of genocide, rely on the kindness of strangers.
Mother used to say: I can name six million people who relied on the kindness of strangers.

Shalom Auslander

#9. I both love and do not love; and am mad and not mad.

Anacreon

#10. Loneliness is not sad part , Best part of my life is, My death will not cause pain for anyone

Mohammed Zaki Ansari

#11. Kugel set off, the wind in what would have been, some years ago, his hair.

Shalom Auslander

#12. Accents are always difficult in their way, but as long as you're not throwing an audience off with it, then that's all it should be.

Ben Mendelsohn

#13. Kugel wondered if in these days of the Internet you would even need a Miep Gies anymore, if you could make it through a genocide these days with just a smartphone and a credit card, and he was hopeful that in the event of another Holocaust, he would have some sort of broadband Internet access.

Shalom Auslander

#14. SOLOMON KUGEL
His performance, of late,
had been subpar.
Born, unfortunately. Died eventually.

Shalom Auslander

#15. His intelligence only exacerbated the guilt Kugel felt for bringing him into the world. It was one thing to have condemned a child to life, that was criminal enough, but life was a sentence more easily served by fools.

Shalom Auslander

#16. Kugel was a firm believer that death was not always a bad thing - that life often reached such levels of crapitude that dying was preferable to living.

Shalom Auslander

#17. A woman only needs one pair of shoes for an outfit. But God, you've got to get it just right.

Allan Dare Pearce

#18. All middle-income families use carbs to stretch meals, across any ethnic group - whether it's kugel or rice and beans or macaroni and cheese. I remember having pancakes for dinner. But as kids, we thought, 'Breakfast for dinner? This is great.'

Al Roker

#19. You shouldn't be worried when people call, communicate, yell, argue, or cry for you. You should be worried when everyone is silent.

Behdad Sami

#20. This, said Mother, as she handed him a piece of dry, tasteless matzoh, is the bread of our affliction. Where, young Kugel wondered, is the seven-layer cake of our salvation? Where is the muffin of our mirth? Where is our no-longer-reduced-to-jelly doughnut?

Shalom Auslander