Knitting Humor Quotes

#1. Since I became a knitting humor writer, I seem to be understood a little better - at least for the purposes of social discourse.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#2. Don't be afraid to pile on the midi rings! I like to play around with metals and pair delicate rings with chunkier ones.

Ashley Madekwe

#3. Do what gives you a buzz.

Trevor Baylis

#4. You don't knit because you are patient. You are patient because you knit.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#5. Being yourself; not acting. You therefore can function near your own level of competence. Satisfy you own expectations rather than those of others.

John Wooden

#6. A lady named Maude let me in the back,' he said. 'She's a firecracker, that one. Told me she's knitting trivets as a wild change of pace from scarves. If you're keeping score, that means changing from a rectangle all the way to a square.

Heather Cocks

#7. Knitting is still trying to teach me
That no matter how well you knit, looking at your work too closely isn't helpful. It's like kissing with your eyes open: nobody looks good that close up.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#8. Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either.

Elizabeth Zimmermann

#9. I am to be converted to the joys of knitting,' said Mrs. Ali, smiling at the Major.
'My condolences,' he said.

Helen Simonson

#10. If she kept wondering about how much of her life Bran engineered, she'd end up on a funny farm knitting caps for ducks.

Patricia Briggs

#11. If I gave my mother a knitted scarf she'd be worried I was wasting my time doing stupid stuff like knitting instead of school work. Presenting a homemade knitted object to my parents was actually like handing them a detailed backlog of my idleness.

Mindy Kaling

#12. As usual, the sock yarns have no idea what is going on.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#13. Avoid greed and fear. These are the investor's Achilles heels. Keeping all your money in the bank earning 3% interest is just as foolish as dumping your entire savings into the market thinking you'll make a quick buck.

Nancy Dunnan

#14. The long-drawn, wavering howl has, for all its fearful resonance, some inherent sadness in it, as if the beasts would love to be less beastly if only they knew how and never cease to mourn their own condition.

Angela Carter

#15. I will not let the non-knitters of the world decide how normal I am.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#16. I love crafting. Knitting, decoupage, scrapbooking, any "lady-ish" art form, I'm a fan. For about six months each. Then I shove all the supplies in a closet, alongside the skeletons of long dead New Year's resolutions, like saber fencing, playing the ukulele, and Japanese brush painting.

Felicia Day

#17. Don't be disgusting.
Don't dare me. I majored in disgusting at Gulag Community College. Lucrezia Borgia taught cooking, and Madame Defarge taught knitting. Emperor Nero taught violin and also led the cheerleading squad. I skipped all my classes and failed with distinction.

Gregory Maguire

#18. The majority does not rule in America, but the minority shouldn't hijack it. And it's because we're afraid. They have isolated us and made us feel as though we're alone. We're not.

Glenn Beck

#19. The heathen mythology not only was not true, but was not even supported as true; it not only deserved no faith, but it demanded none. The very pretension to truth, the very demand of faith, were characteristic distinctions of Christianity.

Richard Whately

#20. You could take up knitting," he suggested.
My eyebrows scrunched together. "The Angel of Death is suggesting I adopt knitting as a hobby?"
Warren's shoulders shook with with silent laughter.

Elicia Hyder

#21. You've heard about the knitter's handshake? Two hands go in for the grab-and-shake, but at the last minute, they veer to the closest sleeve or band and grab it instead while we ask, "Did you knit this?

Clara Parkes