Top 100 Kin Hubbard Quotes
#1. Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
Kin Hubbard
#2. There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
Kin Hubbard
#3. The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Kin Hubbard
#4. We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.
Kin Hubbard
#5. Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
Kin Hubbard
#6. My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
Kin Hubbard
#7. Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Kin Hubbard
#8. The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Kin Hubbard
#9. I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
Kin Hubbard
#10. Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.
Kin Hubbard
#11. Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
Kin Hubbard
#12. The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.
Kin Hubbard
#13. Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
Kin Hubbard
#14. There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Kin Hubbard
#15. We'd all like t'vote fer th'best man, but he's never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard
#16. Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.
Kin Hubbard
#17. Hon Editor Cale Fluhart was a power politically fer years, but he never got prominent enough t' have his speeches garbled.
Kin Hubbard
#18. Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
Kin Hubbard
#19. When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.
Kin Hubbard
#20. I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.
Kin Hubbard
#21. Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Kin Hubbard
#23. We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Kin Hubbard
#24. In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
Kin Hubbard
#25. Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.
Kin Hubbard
#26. There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.
Kin Hubbard
#27. Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Kin Hubbard
#28. Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.
Kin Hubbard
#29. Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
Kin Hubbard
#30. It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.
Kin Hubbard
#31. We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.
Kin Hubbard
#32. The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
Kin Hubbard
#33. If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
Kin Hubbard
#34. Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.
Kin Hubbard
#35. One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
Kin Hubbard
#36. The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard
#37. When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.
Kin Hubbard
#38. There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together.
Kin Hubbard
#39. "Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "
Kin Hubbard
#40. I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
Kin Hubbard
#41. No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kin Hubbard
#42. If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
Kin Hubbard
#43. It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
Kin Hubbard
#44. Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers the goods.
Kin Hubbard
#45. The man who says "I may be wrong, but
" does not believe there can be any such possibility.
Kin Hubbard
#46. Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
Kin Hubbard
#47. A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
Kin Hubbard
#48. I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.
Kin Hubbard
#50. A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.
Kin Hubbard
#51. No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.
Kin Hubbard
#52. I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.
Kin Hubbard
#53. A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.
Kin Hubbard
#54. Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Kin Hubbard
#55. Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
Kin Hubbard
#56. Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
Kin Hubbard
#57. A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.
Kin Hubbard
#58. Bargain ... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
Kin Hubbard
#59. Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
Kin Hubbard
#60. Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
Kin Hubbard
#61. There's many a slip twixt the blueprints and a new house.
Kin Hubbard
#62. Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.
Kin Hubbard
#63. As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.
Kin Hubbard
#64. Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
Kin Hubbard
#65. Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
Kin Hubbard
#66. Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
Kin Hubbard
#67. The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Kin Hubbard
#68. University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.
Kin Hubbard
#69. It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
Kin Hubbard
#70. One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.
Kin Hubbard
#71. About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.
Kin Hubbard
#72. The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
Kin Hubbard
#73. If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.
Kin Hubbard
#75. There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
Kin Hubbard
#76. Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.
Kin Hubbard
#77. Never tell the box-office man that you can't hear well or he will sell you a seat where can can't see either.
Kin Hubbard
#78. Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.
Kin Hubbard
#79. If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.
Kin Hubbard
#80. Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
Kin Hubbard
#81. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Kin Hubbard
#82. Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.
Kin Hubbard
#83. Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Kin Hubbard
#84. Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard
#85. The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Kin Hubbard
#86. Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.
Kin Hubbard
#87. The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.
Kin Hubbard
#88. Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach.
Kin Hubbard
#89. It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations
Kin Hubbard
#90. Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Kin Hubbard
#91. Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.
Kin Hubbard
#92. The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.
Kin Hubbard
#93. When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.
Kin Hubbard
#94. A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
Kin Hubbard
#95. The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted.
Kin Hubbard
#96. It don't make no difference what is is, a woman'll buy anything she thinks a store is losin' money on.
Kin Hubbard
#97. Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion
Kin Hubbard
#98. When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.
Kin Hubbard
#99. Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
Kin Hubbard
#100. The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!
Kin Hubbard
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