Keizer Quotes

#1. My master gives me bread and beer and every good thing.

Garret Keizer

#2. Every member must work or quit. No honorary members.

Charles Grandison Finney

#3. It's a Monday morning, 9:13 a.m. on the dot, and the counter person, Mark J., takes exactly seventeen seconds to acknowledge my presence. He then offers to

Julia Kent

#4. Going to school is like going to prison ... you have about two weeks to establish your credibility, failing which you're either a punk or as good as dead. Depending on the school, some students can manage ot avoid those stark alternatives, but even at the best school, no teacher does.

Garret Keizer

#5. I was no Marie Antoinette. I was not born to nobility, but I had a human right to nobility.

Imelda Marcos

#6. Talent is like a birthmark - it's a gift and no credit nor fault to those who wear them.

Charles Marion Russell

#7. The arena messed us all up pretty good, don't you think? Or do you still feel like the girl who volunteered for your sister?

Suzanne Collins

#8. The best music for her was always the stuff you could relate to, the stuff that spoke directly to you and twisted and knotted itself so far into your life you couldn't tell where art ended and reality began.

Stephen Emond

#9. I'd probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we're about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn't want to tease these fellows. Of course, if they're very hungry, I do have this left arm that I don't use all that much.

Garret Keizer

#10. People in the city are poor because they are oppressed, discriminated against and alienated; people in the country are poor because they're too stupid to realize they ought to be living in the city.

Garret Keizer

#11. The purpose of education is not to validate ignorance but to overcome it

Lawrence M. Krauss

#12. Everyone believes in sin, the people who charge their peers with political incorrectness and the people who regard political correctness as the bogey of a little mind. What everyone does not believe in, as nearly as I can tell, is forgiveness.

Garret Keizer

#13. Christianity always flourishes most as a life-giving minority, not as a powerful majority. It is through subversive, countercultural acts of love, justice, and service for the common good that Christianity has always gained the most ground.

Scott Sauls

#14. If God came to India, he'd have to come as bread. If God came to Willoughby union he'd have to came as what?

Garret Keizer

#15. So beer is our bread?

Garret Keizer

#16. I try to remember what I have too often forgotten to my peril: as far as teaching goes, when all you are is right, what you really are is in trouble.

Garret Keizer

#17. Our advertising and even our arts convey the idea that we [Americans] as a society are brash, irreverent, and free of all constraint, when the best available evidence would suggest that we are in fact tame, spayed, and easily brought to heel.

Garret Keizer

#18. See, I don't really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I've had have come after me. So it's really funny when girls get offended because I don't hit on them.

Kellan Lutz

#19. If you can sustain the insight that people are doing the best they can
if you can maintain some faith that this is an insight
you're solid. If not, maybe you should pack it in.

Garret Keizer

#20. An angel kissed my strings, while I slept last night. And her rhythm broke my hunger. And I died a little less.

Sara Quin

#21. The patient suffers; the family threatens; the colleagues frown; the nurse laughs; Death grins; and the young doctor dances a crazy jig amid the tumult, though once he dreamed he would glide along the floor with Death in a perfectly controlled tango.

Bert Keizer