Keith Waterhouse Quotes

#1. Trying to keep up with current slang sucks.

Keith Waterhouse

#2. Cries for help are frequently inaudible.

Tom Robbins

#3. Lying in bed, I abandoned the facts again and was back in Ambrosia.

Keith Waterhouse

#4. The longer an event is anticipated-a milestone birthday, an eclipse, a new millennium-the more likely it is to be an anti-climax.

Keith Waterhouse

#5. Should not the Society of Indexers be know as Indexers, Society of, The?

Keith Waterhouse

#6. A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.

David Mitchell

#7. I turn over a new leaf every day. But the blots show through.

Keith Waterhouse

#8. The 50s face was angry, the 60s face was well-fed, the 70s face was foxy. Perhaps it was the right expression: there was a lot to be wary about.

Keith Waterhouse

#9. Let God Himself be the main attraction at church again, and let us be tireless in our insistence that church is for God, about God, through God, and to the glory of His great Son.

James MacDonald

#10. The best way to win a game is not to lose it.

Erk Russell

#11. Somebody's on a man hunt. And she's accepting all applicants with a big wallet, a penis, and a beating heart. Good luck with that.

Kim Holden

#12. Never look to politicians to solve your problems, they will only create new ones.

Keith Waterhouse

#13. I'mma tell a lie under oath.

Future

#14. When people get rich, they cut themselves off from the context that has earned them these riches - the context of the common men. They forget they are part of society.

N. R. Narayana Murthy

#15. Life is a campus: in a Greenwich Village bookstore, looking for a New Yorker collection, I asked of an earnest-looking assistant where I might find the humour section. Peering over her granny glasses, she enquired, Humour studies would that be, sir?

Keith Waterhouse

#16. Ninety-five percent of all statistics, including this one, are bogus.

Keith Waterhouse

#17. We must learn to let go, to give up, to make room for the things we have prayed for and desired.

Charles Fillmore

#18. A consultation process is what some authority sets in motion preparatory to doing what it intended all along.

Keith Waterhouse

#19. I cannot bring myself to vote for a woman who has been voice-trained to speak to me as though my dog has just died.

Keith Waterhouse