John M Gottman Quotes

#1. Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.

John M. Gottman

#2. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John M. Gottman

#3. Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships

John M. Gottman

#4. Some people in the west have responded to the terrorist attacks by trying to look for everything that is positive in Islam. I think that was a strong response after 9/11, was to try to reach out as positively as possible.

Mark Durie

#5. Language is, in other words, not necessary, but voluntary. If it were necessary, it would have stayed simple; it would not agitate our hearts with ever-present loveliness and ever-cresting ambiguity; it would not dream, on its long white bones, of turning into song.

Mary Oliver

#6. Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? "Women," he said. "They are a complete mystery.

John M. Gottman

#7. In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.

John M. Gottman

#8. Knowing the lesson was one fucking thing. Learning it another.

Alexis Hall

#9. Man, throughout the ages Hasn't yet made up his mind Whether we're fruit or vegetable. That's okay, we still taste just fine.

Geryn Childress

#10. Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.

John M. Gottman

#11. I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.

John M. Gottman

#12. You don't have to be a preacher to talk about what matters, and you don't have to drop the pleasures of style

Rebecca Solnit

#13. Summer and Winter were supposed to be enemies. We were not supposed to cooperate, we were not supposed to go on quests together and, most important, we were not supposed to fall in love.

Julie Kagawa

#14. If I was alone I could live so easy. I could go get a job an' work, an' no trouble.

John Steinbeck

#15. In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.

John M. Gottman

#16. John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with.

William J Doherty

#17. Don't trouble the trouble if you don't want the trouble to trouble you.

Hlovate

#18. Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.

John M. Gottman

#19. A hallmark of domestic violence is a man feeling threatened by a woman's friends and attempting to control or limit a woman's social contacts, or to isolate her socially.

John M. Gottman

#20. We move in response to our conversation partner's face, and our brain also fires as we move those muscles and stirs the passions. Paralyzing the face is idiotic.

John M. Gottman

#21. When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.

John M. Gottman

#22. Bid for connection: Each of our daily interactions with another person.

John M. Gottman

#23. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.

John M. Gottman

#24. Men all do about the same thing when they wake up.

John Steinbeck

#25. I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.

John M. Gottman

#26. When you fall in love, you feel like a missing piece of a puzzle that's been found.

David Byrne

#27. The many speak highly of you, but have you really any grounds for satisfaction with yourself if you are the kind of person the many understand?

Seneca The Younger

#28. news flash: Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.

John M. Gottman