Gottman Quotes

#1. John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with.

William J Doherty

#2. Gottman has proven something remarkable. If he analyzes an hour of a husband and wife talking, he can predict with 95 percent accuracy whether that couple will still be married fifteen years later. If he watches a couple for fifteen minutes, his success rate is around 90 percent.

Malcolm Gladwell

#3. Gottman has found, in fact, that the presence of contempt in a marriage can even predict such things as how many colds a husband or a wife gets; in other words, having someone you love express contempt toward you is so stressful that it begins to affect the functioning of your immune system.

Malcolm Gladwell

#4. I love the freedom of writing and then I love the realization of directing. I can't favor one or the other. I enjoy both parts of the process.

Dee Rees

#5. news flash: Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.

John M. Gottman

#6. We move in response to our conversation partner's face, and our brain also fires as we move those muscles and stirs the passions. Paralyzing the face is idiotic.

John M. Gottman

#7. Real truths, as opposed to imagined ones, are able to stand up to rigorous debate and questioning .

Jeffrey Small

#8. When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of a dying marriage, not the cause. The end of that marriage could have been predicted long before either spouse strayed.

John M. Gottman

#9. Bid for connection: Each of our daily interactions with another person.

John M. Gottman

#10. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.

John M. Gottman

#11. I am led irresistibly to this conclusion: food may be life, but the source of power is faith, not food. And who is more capable of a total act of faith than a child?

Stephen King

#12. I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.

John M. Gottman

#13. The maxim of courts is that manner is power.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#14. I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore
I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.

Joe Pesci

#15. Respect got men murdered. Only stupid men die for anything other than money and freedom.

Dennis Liggio

#16. Once upon a time you would have said there are no real choices, only God's will.

Anonymous

#17. I've always been a health fanatic.

Raquel Welch

#18. A hallmark of domestic violence is a man feeling threatened by a woman's friends and attempting to control or limit a woman's social contacts, or to isolate her socially.

John M. Gottman

#19. Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.

John M. Gottman

#20. God has always been to me not so much like a father as like a dear and tender mother.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

#21. To me, score is really important. I would rather not have any score if it's something that's going to detract from the film. So often when I watch films, the score is what really bothers me.

Steve Buscemi

#22. In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.

John M. Gottman

#23. I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the same again.

John M. Gottman

#24. Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.

John M. Gottman

#25. There's nothing more fulfilling in therapy than watching two people find each other again.

Julie Schwartz Gottman

#26. In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.

John M. Gottman

#27. When I look back on everything I've done, it all somehow makes sense to me. But it doesn't make sense when you're actually doing it.

Robert Longo

#28. Which scientific puzzle confounds the genius of Hawking? "Women," he said. "They are a complete mystery.

John M. Gottman

#29. Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships

John M. Gottman

#30. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John M. Gottman

#31. Another day in paradise' was his inevitable pronouncement when he settled his head on his pillow. Now I understand what that meant: the uneventful day was a precious gift.

Abraham Verghese

#32. Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.

John M. Gottman