Top 100 Jest'ick Quotes
#1. Blah, blah, blah. Demon boy, I can't speak that language. Furthermore, I don't want to pollute my brain by learning it. So it's time for you to learn mine. First lesson-I'm Say-been. I'm oft described as byoo-tee-full and mah-jest'ick.
Kresley Cole
#2. How much on outward show does all depend,
If virtues from within no lustre lend!
Strip off th'externals M and Y, the rest
Proves Majesty itself is but a Jest.
Horace Walpole
#3. You ask: What is it that philosophers have called qualitative states? I answer, only half in jest: As Louis Armstrong said when asked what jazz is, 'If you got to ask, you ain't never gonna get to know.'
Ned Block
#4. When you get to be my age, you can stay alive eating very little,' she said. 'Of the finest food possible,' she added half in jest.
Haruki Murakami
#5. Talent is its own expectation, Jim: you either live up to it or it waves a hankie, receding forever.
David Foster Wallace
#6. Those who can least bear a jest upon themselves, will be most diverted with one passed on others.
Samuel Richardson
#8. I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man, you're looking pretty.
George W. Bush
#9. Some things are jest too big to fergive.
Moira Young
#10. Well, we all gotta die. You jest gotta hope you die good.
Moira Young
#11. One to be a murderer. One to be a Martyr. One to be a Monarch. One to go Mad
Marissa Meyer
#12. If now the all-mother sends forth her children without protection to a thousand threatening dangers, this can only be because she knows that if they fall they fall back into her womb, where they are safe; therefore their fall is a mere jest.
Arthur Schopenhauer
#13. The secret of a poem, no less than a jest's prosperity, lies in the ear of him that hears it.
Edgar Allan Poe
#14. When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains, and the women come out to cut up what remains, jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains and go to your gawd like a soldier.
Rudyard Kipling
#16. But it must be borne in mind that, if there is a Scylla before me, there is also a Charybdis - and that, in my fear of being read as a jest, I may incur the darker destiny of not being read at all.
Lewis Carroll
#18. Listen closely as those around you speak; great truths are revealed in jest.
Javan
#19. Merriment is always the effect of a sudden impression. The jest which is expected is already destroyed.
Samuel Johnson
#21. Jest when we stopped wanting to kill ourselves, we started to die.
David Levithan
#22. Sole judge of Truth, in endless Error hurled: / The glory, jest, and riddle of the world!
Alexander Pope
#23. I'm a big believer that your word is your wand. You know how people say things like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm such an idiot.' I don't say things like that anymore. Those put-downs, even if they're in jest, are little bullets of negativity that you don't need in your life.
Mariska Hargitay
#24. Surely this feisty, argumentative female could not be his life mate? Docile, he'd specifically written docile when he'd filled in his request for a mate. And this was who the spirits of his ancestors had chosen? A celestial jest on their part perhaps?
Eve Langlais
#25. Let us never adopt the maxim, Rather lose our friend than our jest.
Quintilian
#26. Tom read, - "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
"Them's good words, enough," said the woman; "who says 'em?"
"The Lord," said Tom.
"I jest wish I know'd whar to find Him," said the woman.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
#27. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made.
Edgar Allan Poe
#29. Whenever its name has been anything but a jest, philosophy has been haunted by a subterranean question: What if knowledge were a means to deepen unknowing?
Nick Land
#30. Watch it, nasty boy, or I might jest have you fixed, iffin you not careful.
Jason Medina
#31. I have learned to look upon each little hindrance as a jest and each great one as a foreshadowing of victory.
L.M. Montgomery
#32. Twas the saying of an ancient sage that humour was the only test of gravity, and gravity of humour. For a subject which would not bear raillery was suspicious; and a jest which would not bear a serious examination was certainly false wit.
Anthony Ashley Cooper
#33. Sweetest love, I do not go, For weariness of thee, Nor in hope the world can show A fitter love for me; But since that I Must die at last, 'tis best, To use my self in jest Thus by feign'd deaths to die.
John Donne
#34. Riley: give me a romantic comedy any day.
rhoan: your jest a girly-girl at heart, arent you?
riley: takes one to know one, bro.
Keri Arthur
#35. Z - ds! damn the lock! 'fore Gad, you must be civil! Plague on't!'t is past a jest - nay prithee, pox! Give her the hair" - he spoke, and rapp'd his box.
Alexander Pope
#36. It is the way of my people to use light words at such times and say less than they mean. We fear to say too much. It robs us of the right words when a jest is out of place.
J.R.R. Tolkien
#37. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple.
William Shakespeare
#39. LUKE Alas, poor stormtrooper, I knew ye not, Yet have I ta'en both uniform and life From thee. What manner of a man wert thou? A man of inf'nite jest or cruelty? A man with helpmate and with children too? A man who hath his Empire serv'd with pride?
Ian Doescher
#40. His jest shall savour but a shallow wit, when thousands more weep than did laugh it.
William Shakespeare
#41. But fate, as Merlin always taught us, is inexorable. Life is a jest of the Gods, Merlin liked to claim, and there is no justice. You must learn to laugh, he once told me, or else you'll just weep yourself to death.
Bernard Cornwell
#42. She, that will with kittens jest, Should bear a kitten's joke.
William Cowper
#43. Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest.
Baltasar Gracian
#44. Humor depends on the teller and hearer of the jest standing in the same place.
Orson Scott Card
#45. It must be that there is something naturally absurd in a sincere emotion, though why there should be I cannot imagine, unless it is that man, the ephemeral inhabitant of an insignificant planet, with all his pain and all his striving is but a jest in an eternal mind.
W. Somerset Maugham
#46. He wil sooner lose his best friend, then his least jest.
Ben Jonson
#47. An atheist is but a mad, ridiculous derider of piety, but a hypocrite makes a sober jest of God and religion; he finds it easier to be upon his knees than to rise to a good action.
Alexander Pope
#48. All our pride is but a jest. None are worst and none are best. Grief and hope and joy and fear Play their pageant everywhere.
Thomas Campion
#49. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest forever.
William Shakespeare
#50. Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.
Kin Hubbard
#51. Great men may jest with saints; 'tis wit in them; But, in the less foul profanation.
William Shakespeare
#52. Love is a sacred mystery.
To those who love, it remains forever wordless;
But to those who do not love, it may be but a heartless jest.
Khalil Gibran
#53. Question: What is he? Answer: A sluggard; how very pleasant it would have been to hear that of oneself! It would mean that I was positively defined, it would mean that there was something to say about me. "Sluggard" - why, it is a calling and vocation, it is a career. Do not jest, it is so.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
#54. Infinite Jest is an endurance contest. You manage to get through it and you have no choice but to say you like it. Otherwise, you have to deal with the fact that you just wasted weeks of your life,
Gabrielle Zevin
#55. I don't believe that there is a human creature in his senses, arrived to maturity, that at some time or other has not been carried away by this passion (sc. envy) in good earnest; yet I never met with any one who dared own he was guilty of it but in jest.
Bernard De Mandeville
#56. Unfortunately he was one of those who always tend to take their own fancies seriously; and in whose otherwise legitimate extravagance there is too little of the juice of the jest.
G.K. Chesterton
#58. War is the statesman's game, the priest's delight, the lawyer's jest, the hired assassin's trade.
Percy Bysshe Shelley
#59. The Irish always jest even though they jest with tears.
Katharine Tynan
#60. A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it, never in the tongue Of him that makes it.
William Shakespeare
#61. To smile at the jest which plants a thorn in another's breast is to become a principal in the mischief.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
#62. Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Aristotle.
#63. Too late she saw: what she'd favored him with in jest he had received with adoration.
John Barth
#64. The jest loses its point when he who makes it is the first to laugh.
Friedrich Schiller
#65. You have my heart, Jest. I don't know if you deserve it or not. I can't tell if you're a hero or a villain, but it doesn't seem to matter. Either way, my heart is yours.
Marissa Meyer
#66. A husband and wife should resolve never to wrangle with each other; never to bandy words or indulge in the least ill-humour. Never! I say; NEVER. Wrangling, even in jest, and putting on an air of ill-humour merely to tease, becomes earnest by practice.
Timothy Shay Arthur
#67. The hands that had made the sun and stars were too small to reach the huge heads of the cattle. Upon this paradox, we might almost say upon this jest, all the literature of our faith is founded.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
#69. Yet is it not the heart but the members of play that elevate us above the beasts: the fingers with which we touch the clavichord or the flute, the tongue with which we jest and lie and seduce. Lacking members of play, what is there left for beasts to do when they are bored but sleep?
J.M. Coetzee
#70. Judge of a jest when you have done laughing.
Robert Lloyd
#71. And you can use that sword, Weland Godfredson?"
"As a woman can use her tongue, lord."
"You're that good, eh?" Ragnar asked, as ever unable to resist a jest.
Bernard Cornwell
#72. I had to face: I had chosen. My choice, this was love. I had chosen I think the way out of the chains of the cage. I needed this woman. Without her to choose over myself, there was only pain and not choosing, rolling drunkenly and making fantasies of death.
David Foster Wallace
#73. I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?
Vladimir Nabokov
#74. He had finished and collected the three years of drafts [of Infinite Jest], and finally sat down and typed the whole thing. Wallace didn't really type; he input the giant thing twice, with one finger. But a really fast finger.
David Lipsky
#75. Consider me no fool because my tongue is mad. I salt a truth with jest that it sound not dull and heavy. There is more than jig and cadence in my words. I am of stronger fiber than you think. If there comes a time for proof I shall not fail.
Charles S. Brooks
#76. Fate does not jest and events are not a matter of chance. There is no existence out of nothing.
Gamal Abdel Nasser
#77. It is a great affront to God to jest with sacred things, particularly to make sport with the word and ordinances of God, or to treat them with lightness,
Matthew Henry
#78. The universe was not made in jest but in solemn incomprehensible earnest.
Annie Dillard
#79. I have never injured anybody with a mordant poem; my
verse contains charges against nobody. Ingenuous, I have
shunned wit steeped in venom
not a letter of mine is dipped
in poisonous jest.
Ovid
#80. But jest apart
what virtue canst thou trace
In that broad trim that hides thy sober face?
Does that long-skirted drab, that over-nice
And formal clothing, prove a scorn of vice?
Then for thine accent
what in sound can be
So void of grace as dull monotony?
George Crabbe
#81. If all else fails, the character of a man can be recognized by nothing so surely as by a jest which he takes badly.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
#82. We ain't got time fer you to yell at me or fer me to tell you everythin that's happened, so I'm jest gonna cover the main points real quick an then I'm gonna kiss you, he says.
Moira Young
#83. The one from among the Muslims who recites the Qur'an but in the end finds his way to hell, is considerd to be among those that have taken the word of Allah in jest.
Ali Ibn Abi Talib
#84. Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee Jest, and youthful Jollity, Quips, and Cranks, and wanton Wiles, Nods, and Becks, and wreathed Smiles, Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, And love to live in dimple sleek; Sport that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his sides.
John Milton
#85. My mood, I say, was one of exaltation. I felt as a seeing man might do, with padded feet and noiseless clothes, in a city of the blind. I experienced a wild impulse to jest, to startle people, to clap men on the back, fling people's hats astray, and generally revel in my extraordinary advantage.
H.G.Wells
#86. Here's a proposal, offered only partly in jest: no resident of the United States, whether born here or abroad, should get to be a citizen until age 18, at which time each such resident has to take a test.
Eric Liu
#87. A prison! heav'ns, I loath the hated name,
Famine's metropolis, the sink of shame,
A nauseous sepulchre, whose craving womb
Hourly inters poor mortals in its tomb;
By ev'ry plague and ev'ry ill possess'd,
Ev'n purgatory itself to thee 's a jest.
Tom Brown Jr.
#89. Man is a living lie
a bitter jest Upon himself
a conscious grain of sand Lost in a desert of unconsciousness.
Amos Bronson Alcott
#92. For the murder of Jest, the court joker of Hearts, I sentence this man to death.'
She spoke without feeling, unburdened by love or dreams or the pain of a broken heart. It was a new day in Hearts, and she was the Queen.
'Off with his head
Marissa Meyer
#93. If you must mount the gallows, give a jest to the crowd, a coin the hangman, and make the drop with a smile on your lips.
Robert Jordan
#94. He swatted at her with his book. "Shut up and read, will you?"
He lay back down and closed his eyes. Emma glanced over to check that he was smiling, and smiled too.
David Nicholls
#96. The essence of obscenity is the turning of the inner mystery into a jest.
Fulton J. Sheen
#97. Infinite Jest is a masterpiece," Harvey had said. "Infinite Jest is an endurance contest. You manage to get through it and you have no choice but to say you like it. Otherwise, you have to deal with the fact that you just wasted weeks of your life," A.J.
Gabrielle Zevin
#98. The hapless wit has his labors always to begin, the call for novelty is never satisfied, and one jest only raises expectation of another.
Samuel Johnson
#99. Man's life is but a jest,
A dream, a shadow, bubble, air, a vapor at the best.
George Walter
#100. Remember Henry Adam's jest that the succession of presidents from Washington to Grant disproved the theory of evolution?
George Will
