Top 100 Jerome K Jerome Quotes
#1. I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I'd lay my cards down on that, and say that it's that that I'm trying to do.
Terry Pratchett
#2. Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.
Jerome K. Jerome
#3. The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.
Jerome K. Jerome
#4. Splendid cheeses they were, ripe and mellow, and with a two hundred horse-power scent about them that might have been warranted to carry three miles, and knock a man over at two hundred yards.
Jerome K. Jerome
#5. It is wonderful what an insight into domestic economy being really hard up gives one.
Jerome K. Jerome
#6. And we sit there, by its margin, while the moon, who loves it too, stoops down to kiss it with a sister's kiss, and throws her silver arms around it clingingly.
Jerome K. Jerome
#7. George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two.
Jerome K. Jerome
#8. It is a most remarkable thing. I sat down with the full intention of writing something clever and original; but for the life of me I can't think of anything clever and original
at least, not at this moment.
Jerome K. Jerome
#9. It must have been worth while having a mere ordinary plague now and then in London to get rid of both the lawyers and the Parliament.
Jerome K. Jerome
#10. Such is life; and we are but as grass that is cut down, and put into the oven and baked.
Jerome K. Jerome
#11. Foolish people ... When I say foolish people in this contemptuous way, I mean people who entertain different opinions to mine. If there's one person I do despise more than another, it's the man who doesn't think exactly the same on all topics as I do.
Jerome K. Jerome
#12. If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest; and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.
Jerome K. Jerome
#13. There must be something ghostly in the air of Christmas - something about the close, muggy atmosphere that draws up the ghosts, like the dampness of the summer rains brings out the frogs and snails.
Jerome K. Jerome
#14. Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago, has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
Jerome K. Jerome
#15. What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over
Jerome K. Jerome
#16. I do think that, of all the silly, irritating tomfoolishness by which we are plagued, this "weather-forecast" fraud is about the most aggravating. It "forecasts" precisely what happened yesterday or a the day before, and precisely the opposite of what is going to happen to-day.
Jerome K. Jerome
#17. It would not be a good place for the heroine of a modern novel to stay at. The heroine of a modern novel is always "divinely tall," and she is ever "drawing herself up to her full height." At the "Barley Mow" she would bump her head against the ceiling each time she did this.
Jerome K. Jerome
#18. He told us that it had been a fine day to-day, and we told him that it had been a fine day yesterday, and then we all told each other that we thought it would be a fine day to-morrow; and George said the crops seemed to be coming up nicely.
Jerome K. Jerome
#19. I wrote a poem once - a simple thing, but instinct with longing - while sitting under a tree and listening to the cooing of a pigeon. But that was in the afternoon. My only longing now was for a gun. Three
Jerome K. Jerome
#20. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.
Jerome K. Jerome
#21. But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.
Jerome K. Jerome
#22. Let us gather together in the great cities, and light huge bonfires of a million gas-jets, and shout and sing together, and feel brave.
Jerome K. Jerome
#24. THERE were four of us - George, and William Samuel Harris, and myself, and Montmorency. We were sitting in my room, smoking, and talking about how bad we were - bad from a medical point of view I mean, of course.
Jerome K. Jerome
#25. I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.
Jerome K. Jerome
#26. It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
Jerome K. Jerome
#27. There is an iron "scold's bridle" in Walton Church. They used these things in ancient days for curbing women's tongues. They have given up the attempt now. I suppose iron was getting scarce, and nothing else would be strong enough.
Jerome K. Jerome
#28. It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
Jerome K. Jerome
#29. Angelina would have gone on loving Edwin forever and ever and ever if only Edwin had not grown so strange and different. Edwin would have adored Angelina through eternity if Angelina had only remained the same as when he first adored her.
Jerome K. Jerome
#30. I never knew you played the banjo!" cried Harris and I, in one breath.
"Not exactly," replied George: "but it's very easy, they tell me; and I've got the instruction book!"
From Three Men in a Boat
Jerome K. Jerome
#31. Harris said: If you never try a new thing, how can you tell what it's like? It's men such as you that hamper the world's progress. Think of the man who first tried German sausage!
Jerome K. Jerome
#32. A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
#33. We like, we cherish, we are very, very fond of - but we never love again.
Jerome K. Jerome
#34. When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them.
Jerome K. Jerome
#35. There is no pathos in real misery, no luxury in real grief.
Jerome K. Jerome
#36. Man, if he would live, must worship. He looks around, and what to him, within the vision of his life, is the greatest and the best, that he falls down and does reverence to.
Jerome K. Jerome
#37. I like a bit of fun myself. But not if you've got to pay for it. Where's the fun in that?
Jerome K. Jerome
#38. Wind as old as Rome outside my window, inky fleece clouds against charcoal crushed velvet skies, fall feels soulful, like a LaBelle octave.
Brandi L. Bates
#40. Do you not remember me?" whispered the Dream. "We had long talks together. The morning and the noonday pass. The evening still is ours. The twilight also brings its promise.
Jerome K. Jerome
#41. No, what was sad in his case was that he, who didn't care for carved oak, should have his drawing-room panelled with it, while people who do care for it have to pay enormous prices to get it. It seems to be the rule of this world.
Jerome K. Jerome
#42. It seems to be the rule of this world. Each person has what he doesn't want, and other people have what he does want.
Jerome K. Jerome
#44. Let us play the game of life as sportsmen, pocketing our winnings with a smile, leaving our losings with a shrug.
Jerome K. Jerome
#45. A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach.
Jerome K. Jerome
#46. Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
Jerome K. Jerome
#47. The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.
Jerome K. Jerome
#48. Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake.
Jerome K. Jerome
#49. In my youth, the question chiefly important to me was - What sort of man shall I decide to be? At nineteen one asks oneself this question; at thirty-nine we say, I wish Fate hadn't made me this sort of man.
Jerome K. Jerome
#51. It's really extraordinary what a variety of ways of loving there must be. We all do it as it was never done before.
Jerome K. Jerome
#52. It must be eight years since I last saw Joseph Taboys. How pleasant it would be to meet his jovial face again, to clasp his strong hand, and to hear his cheery laugh once more! He owes me 14 shillings, too.
Jerome K. Jerome
#53. as for exercise! why, you'll get more exercise, sitting down on that ship, than you would turning somersaults on dry land.
Jerome K. Jerome
#54. The more the other party thinks he's having his way, the easier always to get your own.
Jerome K. Jerome
#55. I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.
Jerome K. Jerome
#56. It is in the petty details, not in the great results, that the interest of existence lies.
Jerome K. Jerome
#57. To be misunderstood is the shy man's fate on every occasion; and whatever impression he endeavors to create, he is sure to convey its opposite.
Jerome K. Jerome
#58. Information it conveys, as in its simple truthfulness. Its pages form the record of events that really happened. All that has been done
Jerome K. Jerome
#59. I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
Jerome K. Jerome
#60. That's Harris all over - so ready to take the burden of everything himself, and put it on the backs of other people.
Jerome K. Jerome
#61. I can't sit still and see another man slaving and working. I want to get up and superintend, and walk round with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do. It is my energetic nature. I can't help it.
Jerome K. Jerome
#62. Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
Jerome K. Jerome
#63. You got to play the flute as a flute, like that. You can't play like a tenor concept on soprano; it sounds wrong. But some guys do it, and they think it's O.K., but not so!
Jerome Richardson
#64. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.
Jerome K. Jerome
#65. Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.
Jerome K. Jerome
#66. It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
Jerome K. Jerome
#67. Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could make arrangements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done.
Jerome K. Jerome
#68. I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
#70. The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.
Jerome K. Jerome
#74. I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.
Jerome K. Jerome
#76. Times Mayor of Abingdon - was, no doubt, a benefactor to his generation, but I hope there are not many of his kind about in this overcrowded nineteenth century.
Jerome K. Jerome
#77. A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.
Jerome K. Jerome
#78. You can always tell the old river hand by the way in which he stretches himself out upon the cushions at the bottom of the boat, and encourages the rowers by telling them anecdotes about the marvellous feats he performed last season.
Jerome K. Jerome
#79. It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch one another and find sympathy. We differ widely enough in our nobler qualities. It is in our follies that we are at one.
Jerome K. Jerome
#80. There is this advantage about German beer: it does not make a man drunk as the word drunk is understood in England. There is nothing objectionable about him; he is simply tired. He does not want to talk; he wants to be let alone, to go to sleep; it does not matter where - anywhere.
Jerome K. Jerome
#81. He is very imprudent, a dog; he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
Jerome K. Jerome
#82. Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma. Then
Jerome K. Jerome
#83. Rest and a complete change," said George. "The overstrain upon our brains has produced a general depression throughout the system. Change of scene, and absence of the necessity for thought, will restore the mental equilibrium.
Jerome K. Jerome
#84. A woman never thoroughly cares for her
lover until he has ceased to care for her; and it is not until you have
snapped your fingers in Fortune's face and turned on your heel that she
begins to smile upon you.
Jerome K. Jerome
#86. Cultivate," I said, "a sense of humor. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
Jerome K. Jerome
#87. If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.
Jerome K. Jerome
#88. And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at different results, and sneer at one another.
Jerome K. Jerome
#89. No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty - to the poor. It is hell upon earth to a sensitive man; and many a brave gentleman who would have faced the labors of Hercules has had his heart broken by its petty miseries.
Jerome K. Jerome
#90. All the hate and scorn and love of a deep nature, such as the shy man is ever cursed by, fester and corrupt within, instead of spending themselves abroad, and sour him into a misanthrope and cynic.
Jerome K. Jerome
#91. Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.
Jerome K. Jerome
#92. Now, I will drink no German beer. The white wine of the country, with a little soda-water; perhaps occasionally a glass of Ems or potash. But beer, never - or, at all events, hardly ever." It is a good and useful resolution, which I recommend to all travellers. I
Jerome K. Jerome
#93. Eat good dinners and drink good wine; read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays; fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love; but do not pore over influenza statistics.
Jerome K. Jerome
#94. I do like cats. They are so unconsciously amusing. There is such a comic dignity about them, such a "How dare you!" "Go away, don't touch me" sort of air.
Jerome K. Jerome
#95. I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.
Jerome K. Jerome
#96. Nobody ever loved as he loves, and so, of course, the rest of the world's experience can be no guide in his case.
Jerome K. Jerome
#97. As our means increase, so do our desires;and we ever stand midway between the two.
Jerome K. Jerome
#98. We are so bound together that no man can labor for himself alone. Each blow he strikes in his own behalf helps to mold the universe.
Jerome K. Jerome
#99. Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.
Jerome K. Jerome
#100. All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
Jerome K. Jerome
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