Top 37 Jeremy Robert Johnson Quotes
#1. Well, you put a gun to my head."
"No. I put a suggestion in your mind and a gun in your hands.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#2. With this blistering salvo of poetic gutshots Lawson has proven himself Bizarro's true bard, its mad laureate. Switching from dark whimsy to retina-blast shock to political outrage without missing a beat, The Troublesome Amputee is a powerful collection of pitch-black verse.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#3. They'd insert a probe into the patient's head to press the nodule and the patient's immediate response would be to shout out, "FUCK IT! WHY NOT?
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#5. I still feel, as I did when I was six or seven, that books are simply the best way to experience a story.
Philip Reeve
#6. Exactly how long can you stand on a street corner showing two drug dealers your scar-tissue-induced radical penis curvature? The answer is twelve seconds. After that it feels weird.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#7. It is the very mind itself that leads the mind astray - of the mind, do not be mindless
Takuan Soho
#8. Don't worry. These cowboys are all in line. Nice, law-abiding batch here, only want to help you reach your dreams. They're nothing like that last group who rolled through town with branding irons and rape-trusses and shotguns. These are the good guys.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#9. The terrible loop began on a Tuesday and didn't end until the day I saw a skullcracker swallow the brain of a bank-hired assassin.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#10. collected promotional mugs for all eight of the banks which collapsed beneath me. I lined them up in each new cubicle like heads on poles outside of a cannibal village. My resume was a graveyard of once powerful institutions.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#11. I think our souls are always being hole-punched, like old train tickets. In the end, we're all perforated. If we were buckets, we wouldn't hold water.
Gregory Sherl
#13. But my social circle had dwindled. Hell, all I had was a social dot - just me on a one man continuum.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#14. I considered going off grid, but where was "off grid" anymore that didn't require me to know how to kill an elephant seal and live off its blubber?
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#16. Somewhere, floating in a muddled abstraction beyond your existence as a generally good person, are the Externalities. Fuck 'em and God Bless 'em.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#17. I wasn't a hoarder, but I knew my place gave off a Feral Child Hidey Hole vibe.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#18. Cubism is still the most important art movement for the same reason that John D. is still the most important Rockefeller.
Brad Holland
#19. You really have to learn what you're good at and what you're not good at, what you can handle and what you can't handle. We have a tendency to forget it.
Iyanla Vanzant
#22. The bodies of a man and his dog fused together, skin and fur melded. Nobody wanted to die alone.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#23. Man, Books & Booze is cool, right?. That's the most fun I've had in an interview this year. Definitely the most singing I've done.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#24. So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
Al Yankovic
#25. A Jesus girl who rises up and unexpectedly gives grace when she surely could have done otherwise reveals the power and the mystery of Christ at work - in her life and in the world.
Lysa TerKeurst
#26. A short story is a shard, a sliver, a vignette. It's a biopsy on the human condition but it doesn't have this capacity to think autonomously for itself.
Will Self
#27. The money buys the drugs, the drugs work harder and harder to trick your blackened dopamine receptors into giving a damn about living. At some point you make a choice: fight your need the rest of your goddamned long-suffering life, or fill your need until it disappears into the grave with you.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#28. And his dick looks like a hot dog that got hit with a sledgehammer and sewn back together by a blind lady."
"Thanks, Port."
"You're welcome, D.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#32. I mistakenly believed that my life had finally reached the peak of Crazy Bullshit Mountain. Hindsight
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#34. He's just a guy who got caught up in a bad habit and made a few mistakes at work." "He's
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#35. Took to typing as quickly and loudly as possible and yelling, "I'm in!" when accessing basic programs. Made me feel like a hacker.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#36. I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
#37. All of this took about a minute, but time stretches out when you're witnessing an abomination.
Jeremy Robert Johnson
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