Top 100 Jennifer Crusie Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Jennifer Crusie

#1. Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.

#2. I've been spending a lot of time out of here, Harry said. Thank God I don't have a date tonight. This would not be in easy smell to explain.

Jennifer Crusie

#3. The reason you can't lose weight is that you're not supposed to lose weight, you're not built that way, and if you did manage through some stupid diet to take the weight off, you'd be like that chicken mess you just made. Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You're one of them.

Jennifer Crusie

#4. Mitch woke up the next morning the way he always did: badly.

Jennifer Crusie

#5. Wilder watched Armstrong head back to video village under the lights of the set, attacking another apple as she went, and thought, Apples and women. Not a good history there.

Jennifer Crusie

#6. The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine.

Jennifer Crusie

#7. It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk.

Jennifer Crusie

#8. I was standing in the doorway when he said hi," Amy said. "And from the look on his face, what he has for you is not the key to the city.

Jennifer Crusie

#9. What happened to the good old days when rich white men just bought their way into office?

Jennifer Crusie

#10. Exciting wasn't turning out obe as easy as she'd thought it would be, but it was definitely worth pursuing.

Jennifer Crusie

#11. If she'd just kept her mouth shut, she would have been perfect, but no ...

Jennifer Crusie

#12. Luke is the father of the heart, Richard is the father of the mind, and Christopher is the father of the body.

Jennifer Crusie

#13. You could forgive a lot if somebody was there to take care of things until you grew up.

Jennifer Crusie

#14. You have to open up to the world and learn optimism ... Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.

Jennifer Crusie

#15. Zach had brought her a dog.

Jennifer Crusie

#16. I'm stuck in the old me, and I don't know how to get out. I just know the old me isn't the real me anymore.

Jennifer Crusie

#17. It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way."
"Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.

Jennifer Crusie

#18. If you're going to have an asthma attack in the surf, I strongly recommend you do so in Nantucket.

Jennifer Crusie

#19. Have her kidnapped. Tell her you're pregnant and she's the mother. Leave a trail of bread crumbs.

Jennifer Crusie

#20. No more pep talks about believing in toads," Liza said.
"Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them?" Bonnie said.
"Thats frogs," Liza Said. "Entirely different species.

Jennifer Crusie

#21. Nothing matters except what it takes to survive. You remember this, Madeline: You're born alone and you die alone. In between, you make deals.

Jennifer Crusie

#22. Zack?" Anthony's voice was suddenly serious. "You know, it's not a great idea to seduce a woman you're protecting. All kidding aside, do you want me to send Matthews over?"
"Who?"
"Junior."
"I will shoot him on sight," Zack said and hung up so he could follow Lucy into the kitchen.

Jennifer Crusie

#23. Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures.

Jennifer Crusie

#24. Four fabulous days and three glorious nights. More than that, Victoria thought. Fabulous days and glorious nights for the rest of my life.

Jennifer Crusie

#25. Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the
ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.

Jennifer Crusie

#26. Your cat just got cat hair on me." "It's only fair," Min said. "Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.

Jennifer Crusie

#27. What are we going to do with the body?" She had visions of dragging it into the swamp, whispering, "Here, gator, gator," and she made a little sound of distress at the thought.

Jennifer Crusie

#28. If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space.

Jennifer Crusie

#29. The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class

Jennifer Crusie

#30. Sometimes stories are just previews of coming truths.

Jennifer Crusie

#31. Hell, your kid is fucking my wife, and your wife is fucking me. [ ... ]
Not that she's any good, Zane said, looking at Georgia, and when she made a little cry of protest, he added, Hell Georgia, even Jell-O moves when you eat it.

Jennifer Crusie

#32. He picked up the biscuit box and said, "Come on, Marlene. Back into hiding in case somebody comes looking for you, although only God knows why anybody would."
"Marlene?" Nell said.
"I'm not calling anything SugarPie," Riley said. "That's obscene.

Jennifer Crusie

#33. No, this wasn't just about sex, but for the next hour or so, it was going to be mostly about sex.

Jennifer Crusie

#34. That's not a father. That's a sperm donor. Forget him. He's a mess. Concentrate on me. I'm terrific. -(Linc Blaise)

Jennifer Crusie

#35. That woman needs protecting like Rambo needs a bodyguard.

Jennifer Crusie

#36. Any instructions?" Carpenter said. "Yeah," Shane said. "Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don't like. I'm getting tired of this shi*." "Somebody needs a hug," Carpenter said. "Humor," Shane said. "Har.

Jennifer Crusie

#37. Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.

Jennifer Crusie

#38. The therapist, he thought, and it bothered him a lot more than it should have. After all, he had nothing permanent with Sophie. He just needed to touch her on a semiregular basis or he couldn't finish his sentences.

Jennifer Crusie

#39. As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.

Jennifer Crusie

#40. Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting.

Jennifer Crusie

#41. Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.

Jennifer Crusie

#42. Lane and Zack got hitched. So while it might not be very punk rock to be too young to drink legally at your own wedding, it's certainly handy to have the thumbs up from God to get laid.

Jennifer Crusie

#43. Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.

Jennifer Crusie

#44. Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly.
'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out.

Jennifer Crusie

#45. I'm gonna have to get my eyes checked. I can't see crap until it's right in front of me

Jennifer Crusie

#46. Paris is Rory without Lorelai's influence to draw her out of her books and into the wider world.

Jennifer Crusie

#47. I'm fine," Kate said. "In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better."
"Bad deduction," Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.

Jennifer Crusie

#48. First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. Second, if I was insane enough to get married, I wouldn't have kids. Third, if I was insane enough to get married and have kids, it would be a cold day in hell I'd let you babysit.

Jennifer Crusie

#49. - Teach me something new, she said, and he bent her back onto the bed and she shivered as his body slid against hers.
- Okay, Phin said. But pay attention, Julie Ann, there'll be a quiz.

Jennifer Crusie

#50. I like my afterglow with you in motion. I measure time by how your body sways.

Jennifer Crusie

#51. You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.

Jennifer Crusie

#52. I'm thirty-four."
"You don't look thirty-four."
"That's because I'm not married." Mae's smile felt as if it were set in concrete. "Marriage tends to age a woman.

Jennifer Crusie

#53. People should be more careful about what they read to their kids," Park said. "Some of this stuff sounds dangerous.

Jennifer Crusie

#54. Infatuation lasts anywhere from six months to three years, and you can't know you've found the right person until you've worked your way through it. You quit

Jennifer Crusie

#55. If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Gwen Goodnight

Jennifer Crusie

#56. It's not a problem. There are people out there with much worse problems than mine."-Cynthia
"Doesn't make yours any more fun to bear."-Liza
"No. But it does help with the self-pity."- Cynthia

Jennifer Crusie

#57. I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.

Jennifer Crusie

#58. You know, I'm not even sure how we ended up living together."
"I am," Jake said, turning back to the lake. "Sex. It's a powerful force, my boy, and women use it."
"Is that why you gave them up?" Will asked, sympathetically. "Did paranoia drive you to celibacy?

Jennifer Crusie

#59. In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.

Jennifer Crusie

#60. He won't say no, but who cares if he does? Do it. Hell, guys go through this every time they make a move on a woman, and none of them has died yet. In many cases, that is, of course, unfortunate, but rejection is definitely not lethal. Go get him.

Jennifer Crusie

#61. Does it ever occur to you not to sleep with women?"
"No," Riley said.

Jennifer Crusie

#62. Who was the moron on the phone?"
"Carl Avery," Kate said. "A long-standing client and potential felon.

Jennifer Crusie

#63. She slid out from under his arm, and picked up his shirt from the floor. When she put it on, it failed to meet in the middle over her chest. that always worked in the movies, she thought, disgusted, and dropped it on the floor.

Jennifer Crusie

#64. At eleven, Kate woke Jake up when she went searching in the cooler for juice.
"You know, you used to be peaceful," he grumbled.
"I can't believe you were ever married." Kate said, as she cracked the can open. "What did you do, make her stand in the corner all the time?

Jennifer Crusie

#65. Values aren't buses ... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.

Jennifer Crusie

#66. If you can't be a good example, settle for being a horrible warning

Jennifer Crusie

#67. Everything will be fine. Nothing but good times ahead.

Jennifer Crusie

#68. You're not by any chance my stepmother are you?" Min said to her mother's reflection. "Because that would explain so much.

Jennifer Crusie

#69. Life is more than great sex and a nice car."
"Well, yeah. But not a lot more.

Jennifer Crusie

#70. I'm an open Minded Man. How about a threesom? You, me and the machine?

Jennifer Crusie

#71. Kid, I've only known you two days and I've seen you plastered three times." He shook his head. "A bar would not be a good career move for you.

Jennifer Crusie

#72. [ ... ] And those women with the camera looked loose.
Excellent, Phin thought. At last, some good news.

Jennifer Crusie

#73. If you can look at somebody and say, 'I never loved you, you were a mistake,' that's one thing. But if you look at him and say, 'You were everything and I poisoned it because I wouldn't stand up for myself,' that's hard. That's too hard ...

Jennifer Crusie

#74. Every species has a dinner date as part of courting ritual. A woman who won't let you pay for dinner is rejecting your courtship. She may think she's playing fair, or that she's being a feminist, but a very deep level, she knows that she's crossing you off her list of possibilities.

Jennifer Crusie

#75. The thing about love is, you don't get to choose," Suze said.

"You just wake up one day and there it is, sitting at the foot of the bed, going 'nyah, nyah, gotcha,' and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Jennifer Crusie

#76. I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves.

Jennifer Crusie

#77. This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously - "
"Yes," Roger said. "She's the one.

Jennifer Crusie

#78. Quinn talked with her entire body: arms, eyes, shoulders, mouth. She was performance art, so alive that sometimes he argued with her just so he could watch her flush and gesture.

Jennifer Crusie

#79. Lee stood in front of the class the first day and said, "Anybody who makes fun of romance fiction is making fun of Jane Austen, and anybody who makes fun of Jane Austen answers to me." Why yes, I would walk across broken glass for that man. Why do you ask?

Jennifer Crusie

#80. Would she hit a dog to get great sex?

Jennifer Crusie

#81. Don't even think about it."
"Well, when can I walk by myself?"
"When you get your driver's license."
"You always, always say that." Dillie scowled at him. "That's when everything happens."
"It's going to be a busy day," Phin agreed.

Jennifer Crusie

#82. Gabe turned his head to look up at her. The moon came through the skylight and backlit Chloe's short blonde curls, making her look angelically lovely. Too bad she was insane.

Jennifer Crusie

#83. On the very outside chance that we might play again, you should know that pool is the closest thing I have to a religion. Don't ever throw a game with me again.

Jennifer Crusie

#84. You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,
headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.

Jennifer Crusie

#85. I'm a feminist," Quinn said. "We get irrational urges.

Jennifer Crusie

#86. Real life doesn't have to suck.

Jennifer Crusie

#87. You've always been nuts. That's fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you've been depressed nuts. I can't deal with that.
- Anthony

Jennifer Crusie

#88. No carbs" her mother called after her as she went into the dressing room "And no butter"
"I know you stole me from my real parents" Min called back. "They'd let me eat butter

Jennifer Crusie

#89. Breasts are very important for women. Their clothes just don't hang right without them.

Jennifer Crusie

#90. I have to give birth to be a good Ameican? No. There are more than four million babies born in this country every year. The American Way is covered. If it worries you, you can have extra to make up for mine.

Jennifer Crusie

#91. nfatuation lasts anywhere from six months to three years, and you can't know you've found the right person until you're worked your way through it.

Jennifer Crusie

#92. Anthony watched him, dumbfounded, and then turned to Lucy. "What have you done with Zack's brain?"
Lucy stood to follow Zack. "What brain? I don't think he has one. I think he's just one giant exposed nerve ending. I swear sometimes at night, I can hear his neurons snapping like popcorn.

Jennifer Crusie