Top 37 Jeffrey Bernard Quotes
#1. No chaos, no creation. Evidence: the kitchen at mealtime.
Mason Cooley
#2. I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.
Jeffrey Bernard
#3. My name is Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, but people know me as Bernie Mac. My mama, God rest her soul - she used to call me Beanie. Used to say, 'Don't you worry about Beanie. Beanie gonna be just fine. Beanie gonna surprise everyone.'
Bernie Mac
#4. Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.
Jeffrey Bernard
#5. The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.
Jeffrey Bernard
#6. It's one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succour to avail oneself of the 5-2 they're offering on lie de Bourbon for the St Leger.
Jeffrey Bernard
#7. Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'.
Jeffrey Bernard
#8. Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.
Jeffrey Bernard
#9. I don't care. They can think what they want."
"Since when? What happened to the nervous, mysterious, guarded Abby I know and love?"
"She died from the stress of all the rumors and assumptions.
Jamie McGuire
#12. There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.
Jeffrey Bernard
#13. I had a 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington' experience as governor.
Gary Johnson
#14. Is hell the way to heaven? I think it's the way to hell.
Marty Rubin
#15. It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.
Jeffrey Bernard
#16. In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.
Jeffrey Bernard
#17. What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.
Jeffrey Bernard
#18. For, to make deserts, God, who rules mankind, Begins with kings, and ends the work by wind.
Victor Hugo
#19. Kinsey wanted Dellenback to film his own staff. There are three ways to read that sentence, all of them true.
Mary Roach
#20. When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.
Jeffrey Bernard
#21. There are values far beyond those of contracts, markets and exchange
Gordon Brown
#22. I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now.
Jeffrey Bernard
#24. Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day.
Jeffrey Bernard
#25. I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.
Jeffrey Bernard
#26. The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.
Jeffrey Bernard
#27. The practise of an art is essential to the whole man, not because of what art is but because of what art does to the artist.
John Fowles
#28. I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.
Jeffrey Bernard
#29. A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer.
Jeffrey Bernard
#30. But you've got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn't matter as much when you're young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.
Jeffrey Bernard
#31. One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.
Jeffrey Bernard
#32. Keep ambitions high, in front of God and people, Your credibility will be in proportion to your ambitions
Muhammad Atta-ullah Faizani
#33. My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.
Jeffrey Bernard
#34. Keep your eyes wide open in the darkest of times. Only then you can rely on shooting stars.
Lincoln Hall
#35. Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.
Jeffrey Bernard
#36. They smoke cigarettes professionally. The smoke is inhaled very sharply and the teeth are bared.Then the head turns to give you a profile and the smoke is exhaled slowly and deliberately and the grey jet stream becomes a beautiful blue cloud of smoke.What are they trying to tell us?
Jeffrey Bernard
#37. Acting is half shame, half glory. Shame at exhibiting yourself, glory when you can forget yourself.
John Gielgud