Humor Allie Quotes

#1. A few of the savage creatures (rabids) I could deal with, but taking on this many ventured very close to suicide. Once was enough, thanks

Julie Kagawa

#2. I love going to the river not only to enjoy nature, but to think about the Los Angeles River's place in our city's history and to envision its great place in our future.

Eric Garcetti

#3. Baking was a science, precise, just mix it all together and let the oven do the work. But actually cooking, she couldn't cook a tasty meal if her life depended on it.

Allie Burke

#4. Instead of just recording reality, photographs have become the norm for the way things appear to us, thereby changing the very idea of reality and of realism.

Susan Sontag

#5. Claire's cottage wasn't quite the same layout as his mother's, but it looked to be the same size. Daniel couldn't be sure - he'd have to see Claire's bedroom first. Internally again, Daniel laughed and then he sighed again. Did he just make a joke in his head and laugh at himself?

Allie Burke

#6. I sheathed my blade and glared at him. "And here I almost thought you weren't a complete bastard."
"Well, that's your mistake, not mine.

Julie Kagawa

#7. On a fundamental level, I am someone who would throw sand at children.

Allie Brosh

#8. Do not lose the treasure of your Self for the pleasure of the senses.

Swami Parthasarathy

#9. If you watch the news, you see politicians use human vulnerabilities to get in and earn people's trust.

Morena Baccarin

#10. I say 'Mom, how come you don't change into an evening gown for dinner?' She says 'I do, it's called a bath robe. [ ... ]

Lauren Child

#11. You threw Shackle," Terric said. "At his head. With a hell of a lot of magic."
"He was trying to kill you guys. He'd trapped Zay. What did you want me to do, challenge him to a game of dominos? I was supposed to ride to the rescue, right? I rode.

Devon Monk

#12. He dropped the joint in the dirt and ran inside. It wasn't his first, and wouldn't be his last. The joint, that is. Not the kid. He was pretty sure, at this point, that he would never have sexual relations with his wife again.

Allie Burke

#13. When the soul-penetrating pathos she was beaming at me failed to prevent me from continuing to put things in boxes, the helper dog became increasingly alarmed. Over the ensuing few days, she slowly descended into psychological chaos. The simple dog remained unfazed.

Allie Brosh

#14. Wicked deeds are generally done, even with impunity, for the mere desire of occupation.

Ammianus Marcellinus

#15. And wonders of wonders, they both shut up and did as I said.
If I'd had time I would have pulled out my journal and made a note: Shame and Terric actually listened to me for once. Warn Hell. There's a freeze coming.

Devon Monk

#16. I would let you hold him," Jane said, "but I'm pretty sure letting-ghosts-hold-my-baby is not on Abby's approved list of things to accomplish in life.

Allie Burke

#17. Death is easy when you've already tried to find it.

Pierce Brown

#18. Trimming your dogs nails is a traumatic event that requires three people, a beach towel, and a can of spray cheese.

Allie Brosh

#19. It would be hilariously tragic if I avoided the rabids, avoided the sun, only to be fried to a crisp on a damn electric fence because I was too impatient.

Julie Kagawa

#20. Let us not give up. Let us be true to our covenants. Let us never lose sight of our Advocate and Redeemer as we walk toward Him, one imperfect step after another.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

#21. But when you're concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.

Allie Brosh

#22. I swore I'd never be the girlfriend who spies on her boyfriend's phone, but tough shit. I'm her today.

Allie Everhart

#23. I had tasted cake and there was no going back. My tiny body had morphed into a writhing mass of pure tenacity encased in a layer of desperation. I would eat all of the cake or I would evaporate from the sheer power of my desire to eat it.

Allie Brosh

#24. Everything quiet?"
"You mean Shame"
"I mean your Pooh News. Any rumblies in the tumblies?" I gave him a grin.
He shook his head. "You just can't let that go, can you? ...

Devon Monk

#25. She sighed, knowing she couldn't push it any further. "Thank you for being so ... merciful," Allie said. "But I would appreciate it if Pea-brain here would keep his hands off me."
"That's Pinhead," corrected the boy. "Pea-brain works in the engine room.

Neal Shusterman

#26. They didn't let you bring marijuana on airplanes, apparently, as hard as that was to believe.

Allie Burke