Hilariously Inappropriate Quotes

#1. Persons of good sense, I have since observed, seldom fall into disputation, except lawyers, university men, and men of all sorts that have been bred at Edinburgh.

Benjamin Franklin

#2. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

Sam Snead

#3. I love you all. I am you and you are me!

Dharma Mittra

#4. Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time.

Steven Redhead

#5. Well, take the evolution of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. It began as hackers' rights. Then it became general civil liberties of everybody - government stay away.

Esther Dyson

#6. Short things are short all over and long things are long all over.

Jim Harrison

#7. It is as though they simply cannot contemplate the notion of a short, slight man who dresses and moves like a popular (mis)conception of a homosexual being attractive to millions of women.

Dave Hill

#8. It doesn't seem to be worth wasting a lot of energy on attempting to rewrite the past.

Douglas Tompkins

#9. We are taught to want a thing. We are taught that having that thing will make us happy. We are taught that having it immediately is the answer. We are taught a corrupted version of success. And love.

Daniel Gillies

#10. If you're ranked number one in the world it's because you've earned it, and I think the only way to really get there is to have that ability and to have it nurtured in a very competitive environment at an early age.

Andre Agassi

#11. My granddad always said he wanted to make me an England player. As soon as I went on to that pitch against Portugal, I knew he could die a happy man because he'd achieved his aim in life.

David Dunn

#12. We have to take ISIS oil, shut down all of the mechanisms whereby they can disperse money because they go after disaffected individuals from all over the place, and they're able to pay them.

Benjamin Carson

#13. I do not approach my life tactfully at all, i'm incredibly impulsive and I am definitely an intense weirdo. I love living and I love people. They trip me out and I want to know more about them all the time. That isn't something I can turn off and on.

Kristen Stewart

#14. I had all my own teeth and I wanted to keep it that way.

Tom Glavine