Harland Quotes

#1. Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

Dane Cook

#2. She understands all at once, with a small shock, exactly what it is she always needed to tell Harland: being there in person is not the same as watching. You might see things better on television, but you'll never know if you were alive or dead while you watched.

Barbara Kingsolver

#3. She married him two years ago for love, or so she thought, and he's a good enough man but a devotee of household silence. His idea of marriage is to spray WD-40 on anything that squeaks ... The quiet only subsides when Harland sleeps and his tonsils make up for lost time.

Barbara Kingsolver

#4. If you were to come out and hang out with me, just having fun at a nightclub or a party, that's kind of the version of Harland you'd get - silly, kind of always saying wacky things.

Harland Williams

#5. Harland could see the dark yawn of eternity in the muzzle of Lancaster's .45.

H.A. DeRosso

#6. I used to see my friend Harland Williams in a lot of auditions. Then you'd see one of the DeLuise kids because they're kind of heavy and character-y. You'd just see a lot of the same guys over the years.

Brian Posehn

#7. What's interesting about Stephen Baldwin is that me and Dana Gould were originally cast for 'Bio-Dome' - but Pauly Shore and Baldwin ended up doing it. So there's a little movie trivia for ya.

Harland Williams

#8. I think much sociopolitical art delivers truisms that are quite flat.

Harland Miller

#9. The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.

Harland Williams

#10. I'd like to explore the more abstract side of people's minds, as opposed to the usual sitcom stuff. I don't want to do the typical sitcom-type humor. I'd want to do stuff like go bowling with pineapples.

Harland Williams

#11. Without sounding negative, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of stand-up. I'm more interested in an absurd kind of theater.

Harland Williams

#12. It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated.

Harland Williams

#13. I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life, man.

Harland Williams

#14. I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it.

Harland Williams

#15. I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.

Harland Williams

#16. Youth faces forward, impatient of the present, panting to anticipate the future. But we who have crossed a certain sad meridian, we turn our gaze backward,and tell the relentless gods what we would sacrifice to recover a little of the past...

Henry Harland

#17. I get a lot of people telling me that I'd make a good 'wacky neighbor.' I wouldn't mind that, if it was a starting-off point.

Harland Williams

#18. The trouble with worrying so much about your security in the future is that you feel so insecure in the present.

Harland Miller

#19. The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it.

Harland Williams

#20. I love seafood. Whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I love going to the Bellagio buffet because they have these great king crab legs.

Harland Williams

#21. God inhabits the praises of His people. And when the King is present, all things are possible. So

Mike Harland

#22. I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

Harland Williams

#23. I always improvise with the crowd. Sometimes it will be a 50 percent show, sometimes 70 percent, sometimes it's almost a whole show where I wing it. It depends on my mood, the energy in the room. For sure, a portion of it is just kind of winging it.

Harland Williams

#24. I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey, don't you?

Harland Williams

#25. I was walking around bored one day, and I started filming stuff with my cellphone. There are all these shows where people are trying to do these outrageous stunts, and I thought it would be funny to do all these stunts that aren't outrageous but then act like they are.

Harland Williams

#26. I'd done a ton of movies here in Hollywood, and I realized that every movie I'd done was somebody's else's work and someone else's vision.

Harland Williams

#27. I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

Harland Williams

#28. What's best about those seaside towns is that they are like time warps, and that's why people go there.

Harland Miller

#29. I used to do little sketches into my cassette tape recorder when I was a little boy. I would just turn it on and just start doing voices and characters. I just loved it.

Harland Williams

#30. I think a lot of people think I'm doing kind of a character onstage, but what you're really getting is just me.

Harland Williams

#31. Pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes.

Harland Williams

#32. I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

Harland Williams

#33. The thing is, you never know with any movie how it's going to turn out. It's always a mystery - you'll do pages and pages of scenes that will never make it onto the screen.

Harland Williams

#34. Everything's a conspiracy and everything's not a conspiracy. You could look at this planet and go, "This is all a conspiracy. God made this to test us to see if we'll use the nukes." You can let your mind believe anything.

Harland Williams

#35. I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them.

Harland Williams

#36. My roots are in stand-up, and stand-up is very freeing. There's no script involved; you just fly.

Harland Williams

#37. I don't go on tour tours - I just go randomly to cities to do shows if I have an opening in my schedule.

Harland Williams

#38. Executives and studios really like to have control over their product. They panic or they're not secure enough to trust in the powers of really amazing improv people.

Harland Williams

#39. The present is an infinitesimal between two infinites. 'Tis a line (a thing without breadth or thickness) moving across the surface of Eternity . The present is no more, by the time you have said, This is present.

Henry Harland

#40. Do you know that the ready concession of minor points is a part of the grace of life?

Henry Harland

#41. If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile.

Harland Williams

#42. In 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Dumb & Dumber,' I ended up improvising quite a bit of my scenes, and later I didn't even remember what I'd said because I just winged it. When I went and saw the movie, I was as stunned as everyone else was.

Harland Williams

#43. I'm an American citizen now, but I will always have Canadian pride.

Harland Williams

#44. I think people should maybe just go out into the garden and watch a ladybug crawl across a flower and relax their mind. That's about all you need to know about life, I think.

Harland Williams

#45. The outdoor Christmas lights, green and red and gold and blue and twinkling, remind me that most people are that way all year round
kind, generous, friendly and with an occasional moment of ecstasy. But Christmas is the only time they dare reveal themselves.

Harland Miller