Hannibal Buress Best Quotes

#1. There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.

Hannibal Buress

#2. When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

Hannibal Buress

#3. The more you progress, the more you learn. I try to pay attention to ticket counts, draws, guarantees and bonuses. I look at my deals closely these days and try to come up with other projects and ideas, since this business [comedy] is about creating content.

Hannibal Buress

#4. Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment ... Thank me.

Hannibal Buress

#5. I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

Hannibal Buress

#6. I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

Hannibal Buress

#7. There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'

Hannibal Buress

#8. I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation.

Hannibal Buress

#9. I could maybe coach kids' basketball. I know enough about basketball where I feel like I could coach 12-year-olds pretty effectively.

Hannibal Buress

#10. I remember 'Def Comedy Jam' being a big deal and kids talking about it in school, but it was never, 'I want to do that.'

Hannibal Buress

#11. I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music - so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.

Hannibal Buress

#12. For me ... you know, the most I've paid for a haircut was in Australia. Usually I go to a black barber or a Latino barber. I can't just go into Supercuts.

Hannibal Buress

#13. I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.

Hannibal Buress

#14. The ultimate thing is creating your own stuff and making projects for yourself. That's what Seth Rogen does. He's writing and producing a lot of the movies that he's the lead in.

Hannibal Buress

#15. I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope?

Hannibal Buress

#16. I go to a lot of rap shows and sometimes take what they do from a performer's aspect, how they interact with the crowd. I always have a DJ with me on the road, as well as some dancers.

Hannibal Buress

#17. I don't even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that's not a person I want to work with anyway. And that's how you weed people out of your life.

Hannibal Buress

#18. My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

Hannibal Buress

#19. I like getting 'Times' articles online. But the actual paper just has too many words.

Hannibal Buress

#20. I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines. I'd kill it.

Hannibal Buress

#21. 'SNL' is the first real job I've held for more than a month and a half.

Hannibal Buress

#22. There's no room for failure performing [stand-up] for a black audience. If you don't get them right away it's tough winning them back even if you're doing top-notch material. If you didn't win them right when you walked out there, it's tough.

Hannibal Buress

#23. We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.

Hannibal Buress

#24. I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.

Hannibal Buress

#25. When I'm doing shows I don't need much from a city. All I'm looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.

Hannibal Buress

#26. I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.

Hannibal Buress

#27. I'm a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.

Hannibal Buress

#28. I had a sketch called 'Fedora Basketball,' which was about basketball players having to wear hats; in addition to scoring points, they have to make sure their fedoras don't fall off.

Hannibal Buress

#29. I skipped kindergarten because I was reading at a pretty high level. That's a weird and cocky thing to say, but I was real sharp, and I knew that early on.

Hannibal Buress

#30. I did not move to New York with a plan. The first time I moved to New York, I just popped up. My sister was living here in New York. I just popped up. She had her baby and a husband, and I just popped up. 'Hey, what's up? I got $200 and dreams. Let's do this.'

Hannibal Buress

#31. I play myself on everything I do.

Hannibal Buress

#32. I took an improv class in 2005 in Chicago at ComedySportz, which was short-form, more of a games-based improv. I remember it being real fun and helping with my stand-up. If I did an improv class, and then I did stand-up later, I felt looser on stage and more comfortable.

Hannibal Buress