Top 59 Hannibal Buress Quotes
#1. I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.
Hannibal Buress
#3. I took an improv class in 2005 in Chicago at ComedySportz, which was short-form, more of a games-based improv. I remember it being real fun and helping with my stand-up. If I did an improv class, and then I did stand-up later, I felt looser on stage and more comfortable.
Hannibal Buress
#6. Even on TV appearances or big shows, I don't know if I've ever been as nervous as I was my first time doing stand-up. I just remember getting offstage and sitting down, and my right knee was just shaking from the adrenaline.
Hannibal Buress
#7. I don't know if I have a 'Greatest Album Ever.' I really liked 'The Blueprint' by Jay-Z. The production on that album was really great. 'All I Need' was the first song I used for walk-on music in 2002 for my second time ever on stage, so that means a lot to me.
Hannibal Buress
#9. The jokes now, it's just more stories and personal experiences. And just talking about things that really happened. It's just becoming more comfortable as a performer, sharing my opinions on things, or things that've happened to me. That's where it's really going.
Hannibal Buress
#11. I haven't really tried to write a movie. It's tough to get into that mode.
Hannibal Buress
#12. I like to drive nice cars; since I live in New York, and I don't drive there, it's a novelty to be on the road and drive and listen to my music.
Hannibal Buress
#13. Social media is interesting. It helps me connect with fans. It's immediate. It's a big part of my touring business - getting the word out via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Hannibal Buress
#14. People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he's like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.
Hannibal Buress
#15. I need to have something else going on. I'm able to write a lot if I have an episode of 'Friday Night Lights' going on my computer.
Hannibal Buress
#16. I did not move to New York with a plan. The first time I moved to New York, I just popped up. My sister was living here in New York. I just popped up. She had her baby and a husband, and I just popped up. 'Hey, what's up? I got $200 and dreams. Let's do this.'
Hannibal Buress
#17. I'm in awful shape. I'm trying to get in better shape. My girlfriend, she's in good shape. She gives me health tips sometimes, like, 'Hannibal, you're going to die.' Stuff like that.
Hannibal Buress
#18. I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.
Hannibal Buress
#19. My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.
Hannibal Buress
#20. I think one of my first jokes - in the black community, there's people who have jokes about skin tone. People like, 'You so black, you purple.' 'You so black, you gotta smile so we can see you at night.'
Hannibal Buress
#22. When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.
Hannibal Buress
#24. Gibberish rap is - I freestyle all the time, just hangin' out with friends. And sometimes when I'm freestyling, I'll lose my flow, you know, but I'll still wanna - I don't wanna just stop rapping because I lose my flow. So I'll just put in nonsense words till I can bring in regular words again.
Hannibal Buress
#25. I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.
Hannibal Buress
#26. Actors, you have to wait for people to give you work, or you have to make your own stuff. But standup, I could just say, 'I want to do standup in 30 minutes,' and I can go do standup. Or I could just say, 'I want to do standup in a few weeks in this city.'
Hannibal Buress
#27. Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.
Hannibal Buress
#28. I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant ... because I believe in myself.
Hannibal Buress
#29. If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.
Hannibal Buress
#30. I like smoking at home. I like it to be one of the last things I do that day. I don't wake and bake at all; I couldn't do that. If I'm waking and baking, then I'm staying inside my place the rest of the day. I can't start my day off high.
Hannibal Buress
#31. I go to a lot of rap shows and sometimes take what they do from a performer's aspect, how they interact with the crowd. I always have a DJ with me on the road, as well as some dancers.
Hannibal Buress
#32. When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.
Hannibal Buress
#33. The more you progress, the more you learn. I try to pay attention to ticket counts, draws, guarantees and bonuses. I look at my deals closely these days and try to come up with other projects and ideas, since this business [comedy] is about creating content.
Hannibal Buress
#34. Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment ... Thank me.
Hannibal Buress
#35. I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.
Hannibal Buress
#36. I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.
Hannibal Buress
#37. There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'
Hannibal Buress
#38. I'd like to be remembered as good person and as one of the best comedians of my generation.
Hannibal Buress
#39. I could maybe coach kids' basketball. I know enough about basketball where I feel like I could coach 12-year-olds pretty effectively.
Hannibal Buress
#40. I remember 'Def Comedy Jam' being a big deal and kids talking about it in school, but it was never, 'I want to do that.'
Hannibal Buress
#41. I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music - so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.
Hannibal Buress
#42. For me ... you know, the most I've paid for a haircut was in Australia. Usually I go to a black barber or a Latino barber. I can't just go into Supercuts.
Hannibal Buress
#43. I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
Hannibal Buress
#44. The ultimate thing is creating your own stuff and making projects for yourself. That's what Seth Rogen does. He's writing and producing a lot of the movies that he's the lead in.
Hannibal Buress
#45. I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope?
Hannibal Buress
#46. There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.
Hannibal Buress
#47. I don't even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that's not a person I want to work with anyway. And that's how you weed people out of your life.
Hannibal Buress
#48. My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.
Hannibal Buress
#49. I like getting 'Times' articles online. But the actual paper just has too many words.
Hannibal Buress
#50. I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines. I'd kill it.
Hannibal Buress
#51. 'SNL' is the first real job I've held for more than a month and a half.
Hannibal Buress
#52. There's no room for failure performing [stand-up] for a black audience. If you don't get them right away it's tough winning them back even if you're doing top-notch material. If you didn't win them right when you walked out there, it's tough.
Hannibal Buress
#53. We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
Hannibal Buress
#54. I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.
Hannibal Buress
#55. When I'm doing shows I don't need much from a city. All I'm looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.
Hannibal Buress
#56. I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.
Hannibal Buress
#58. I had a sketch called 'Fedora Basketball,' which was about basketball players having to wear hats; in addition to scoring points, they have to make sure their fedoras don't fall off.
Hannibal Buress
#59. I skipped kindergarten because I was reading at a pretty high level. That's a weird and cocky thing to say, but I was real sharp, and I knew that early on.
Hannibal Buress
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