Top 100 Greiman Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Greiman

#1. In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice.

Lois Greiman

#2. If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

Lois Greiman

#3. If you don't scare the neighbors while copulating, I'm afraid you're doing something terribly wrong.

Lois Greiman

#4. Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life.

Lois Greiman

#5. Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Lois Greiman

#6. You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

Lois Greiman

#7. What if there's no such thing as PMS and this is just my personality?

Lois Greiman

#8. There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.

Lois Greiman

#9. Not surprisingly, the kitchen was the most interesting, but only because I discovered a package of Oreos in the cupboard.

Lois Greiman

#10. Friends disregard your failures and endure your successes.

Lois Greiman

#11. A person without regrets is called a corpse.

Lois Greiman

#12. Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Lois Greiman

#13. There is no feature as attractive as a well exercised intellect.

Lois Greiman

#14. Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.

Lois Greiman

#15. If you don't like your teeth; keep your mouth shut.

Lois Greiman

#16. There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

Lois Greiman

#17. In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

Lois Greiman

#18. You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

Lois Greiman

#19. Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen

Lois Greiman

#20. There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

Lois Greiman

#21. Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

Lois Greiman

#22. He looked from His heavens and saw it was good, the toes and the crows all looked like they should. The bunny was quick, the finch bright as a daisy, the owl flew at night, and the tortoise was lazy.

Lois Greiman

#23. And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.

Lois Greiman

#24. A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Lois Greiman

#25. Men, they have the two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, you fix him the burrito. - Rosita Rivera, who was well acquainted with politicians and men

Lois Greiman

#26. There isn't much a pan of warm Brownies and a glass of milk will fix. In less it's low grain prices. Or poverty. Or the national debt. I guess there are a few things, but nothing you have to worry about right this minute.

Lois Greiman

#27. He's just a flash in the pants.

Lois Greiman

#28. Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.

Lois Greiman

#29. No civilized being lived in North Dakota.

Lois Greiman

#30. Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.

Lois Greiman

#31. I'd love to go out with you, but I'd hate to deprive some village of its idiot.

Lois Greiman

#32. When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.

Lois Greiman

#33. Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

Lois Greiman

#34. False hope is better than no hope at all.

Lois Greiman

#35. Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair.

Lois Greiman

#36. In 50 years it won't matter if he's handsome, ugly, or dumb as a post, just try to find someone who don't make you want to shove a pitchfork up his nose.

Lois Greiman

#37. I'm a fan of balance and order, but I like to put that extra layer on top. It makes it more dynamic.

April Greiman

#38. Teachers of design should help a student to find their own voice. In other words, not be a templated version of the teacher, but rather to help them [the students] unfold what they already know and can bring to the table.

April Greiman

#39. In the beginning God made the seas, the mountains, the heavens, and buffalo knees. He made lilies, and dew drops, and snail shells, and roses, and dippers, and yappers, and snappers, and noses.

Lois Greiman

#40. Solberg; nature's greatest argument against cloning.

Lois Greiman

#41. Men are like beer. Some are bold and some are smooth. But every damn one of 'em has a big-ass head full of air.

Lois Greiman

#42. He's an undersized pissant with delusions of adequacy.

Lois Greiman

#43. A guy's got to get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.

Lois Greiman

#44. Sometimes stupid is crime enough.

Lois Greiman

#45. There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

Lois Greiman

#46. It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

Lois Greiman

#47. It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

Lois Greiman

#48. Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.

Lois Greiman

#49. The trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.

Lois Greiman

#50. Beauty is only skin deep, but who gives a shit what's under their skin anyway?

Lois Greiman

#51. Sex is all right, but a hot fudge sundae don't never ask if the baby's really his.

Lois Greiman

#52. Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.

Lois Greiman

#53. Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing.

Lois Greiman

#54. Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.

Lois Greiman

#55. He who laughs loudest has a high probability of being extremely inebriated.

Lois Greiman

#56. All's well so long-as you don't get shot in the hind end with a twenty gauge.

Lois Greiman

#57. In the movie business, the ones we call Lucky are usually those idiots who are just too damn stubborn to take no for an answer. Come to think of it, the movie business is kind of like life.

Lois Greiman

#58. Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Lois Greiman

#59. You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.

Lois Greiman

#60. Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier.

Lois Greiman

#61. Expect stupid. It's everywhere.

Lois Greiman

#62. A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

Lois Greiman

#63. Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.

Lois Greiman

#64. A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.

Lois Greiman

#65. The boy who had stood with such grace after the storm had become the storm, and all that was beautiful within him was swept away in a deluge of his own making.

Clayton Kinnelon Greiman

#66. I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.

Lois Greiman

#67. It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

Lois Greiman

#68. Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.

Lois Greiman

#69. There is no surer road to perdition than the ledger glands dictate your direction.

Lois Greiman

#70. Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

Lois Greiman

#71. Friends are nice. You can tell' 'em stuff, but you can swear like a gangster at an enemy. And that's all right, too.

Lois Greiman

#72. I don't trust nobody that don't have my name tattooed on her ass, and then it's iffy.

Lois Greiman

#73. I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

Lois Greiman

#74. When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Lois Greiman

#75. There is none so troubled as one who thinks himself perfectly sane.

Lois Greiman

#76. Love is like skydiving without a parachute.

Lois Greiman

#77. If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?

Lois Greiman

#78. Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Lois Greiman

#79. Maybe in fairytales you're only as old as you feel, but here in L. A. you're every second as old as your pores.

Lois Greiman

#80. The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.

Lois Greiman

#81. Maybe there's no such thing as happily ever after. Maybe okay for now is the best you get.

Lois Greiman

#82. Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.

Lois Greiman

#83. I froze like a startled bunny. Fumbling the disk into my purse, I cut my eyes toward the hallway.

Had I locked the front door?

Of course I had. Only a moron would break into someone's house and forget to lock the door.

Damn it! I'd forgotten to lock the door.

Lois Greiman

#84. When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all.

Lois Greiman

#85. It ate a party till someone ends up naked.

Lois Greiman

#86. Breaking up is hard to do. But, bustin him in the head ain't that easy, either.

Lois Greiman

#87. You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Lois Greiman

#88. I don't care what Cosmo says about exercise improving sex. Some things aren't worth the cost.

Lois Greiman

#89. Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.

Lois Greiman

#90. Design must seduce, shape, and perhaps more importantly, evoke an emotional response.

April Greiman

#91. If at 1st you don't succeed, stretch out on your La-Z-Boy with a six-pack and a porn flick. Y' still won't succeed, but you sure as hell won't give a shift.

Lois Greiman