Graduation Humor Quotes

#1. Pg. 231-232: They'd given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around my neck! You mark of Cain! You wretched beast high ceilings and few horsepower!

John Green

#2. When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

Bill Cosby

#3. I was also going to give a graduation speech in Arizona this weekend. But with my accent, I was afraid they would try to deport me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#4. Don't be afraid to make an ass of yourself. I do it all the time, and look what I got. (Spoken at a graduation ceremony while holding aloft an honorary doctoral degree from McGill University)

William Shatner

#5. I had received a t-shirt from my best friend Veronica at my police academy graduation. It reads, 'Throw your donut in the opposite direction and the cops won't get you.' I love wearing that t-shirt.

Suzie Ivy

#6. Just about a month from now I'm set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars.

Richard Halliburton