Top 100 Gleason Quotes
#1. Things that make me laugh range from a wonderful stand-up like Jerry Seinfeld, Louis C.K. and Chris Rock to my son Gabe, who does great improv work. I also look backwards to the great comedic actors like Jackie Gleason, Paul Lynde and Phil Silvers.
Jason Alexander
#2. It's a mixed crowd at the dogs - black, white, hispanic - but to Walt they all look like Jackie Gleason. Heavyset guys with big plans and polyester souls.
John Sayles
#3. In terms of comedians, I loved, growing up, Jonathan Winters, Sid Caesar, Jackie Gleason, Phil Silvers, Carol Burnett, all those people.
Ed O'Neill
#4. Styles be fat like Jackie Gleason, the rest be Art Carney.
Phife Dawg
#5. Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous.
George Thorogood
#6. What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics.
Buddy Hackett
#7. I did the Ed Sullivan show four times. I did the Steve Allen show. I did the Jackie Gleason show.
Elvis Presley
#8. In 1965, as Ralph Gleason has reported, when Martin Luther King's march on Selma, Alabama, was brutally attacked by local and state constabulary, Louis Armstrong, then in Copenhagen, said after watching the carnage on television, "They would beat Jesus if he was black and marched.
Nat Hentoff
#9. Jackie Gleason said that comedy is the most exacting form of dramatic art, because it has an instant critic: laughter.
Chuck Jones
#10. Gleason became like a mentor of mine. I had Gleason helping me on television, Godfrey on radio.
Larry King
#12. I was training in Gleason's Gym on 30th and 8th Avenue, where it was the Mecca of boxing, and a guy walked in who couldn't rub two quarters together and said, 'Did you ever think of being on TV?' And somehow I ended up in 'Taxi,' which is the craziest thing of all.
Tony Danza
#13. I loved when my dad was home. He liked to sit in the living room and watch boxing and baseball on TV. Or he'd be tinkering around or listening to records by his musician buddies - George Shearing, Oscar Peterson and the Jackie Gleason Orchestra.
Natalie Cole
#14. Ralph Kramden, as played by Jackie Gleason, was this big bumbling New York City bus driver who was kind of mean and crass and a little bit egotistical. But underneath it all, he was a big heart looking for a place to land I think.
George Saunders
#15. I wound up signing to RCA Victor as a trumpeter, guesting on shows like Jackie Gleason's Honeymooners.
Frankie Avalon
#16. Gleason used to rack balls for me when he was a kid in Brooklyn and in Long Island.
Minnesota Fats
#17. Oh, sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole.
Daniel Palladino
#18. The only thing predictable about you is that you consistently appear when you suppose I least expect it. Perhaps that will be your undoing; for now I shall expect to see you every time I turn around.
Colleen Gleason
#19. That was Chas. Furious and black-hearted one minute, ready to crack a wry joke the next.
Colleen Gleason
#20. I just didn't know where he'd come from.
Or, as Mina would no doubt say, from where he'd come.
Colleen Gleason
#21. Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.
Paul Gleason
#22. Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
Jackie Gleason
#23. I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.
Jackie Gleason
#24. Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
Jackie Gleason
#25. The increased rate of brain disease in the NFL population is caused by the way the game is played within the rules.
Steve Gleason
#27. We have all made mistakes in this life. How we learn from our mistakes is the measure of who we are.
Steve Gleason
#28. I look at the human life like an experiment. Every new moment, every new experience, tragic or otherwise, is an opportunity to gain a more accurate perspective and helps lead me to clarity.
Steve Gleason
#29. How could they be on opposite sides when it came to protecting the planet that hosted all of them?
Colleen Gleason
#30. Why did God allow Jephthah's foolish vow to run its course? (D*)
Gleason Archer
#32. To cure ALS medically is not economical. The realities are that it's difficult to find funding for research for a medical cure. I believe in developing technology as opposed to medical research. Technology can be economical.
Steve Gleason
#33. If I make a decision it is a possession. I take pride in it, I tend to defend it and not listen to those who question it. If I make sense, then this is more dynamic, and I listen and I can change it. A decision is something you polish. Sensemaking is a direction for the next period.
Paul Gleason
#34. ALS does not affect cognitive process. Stephen Hawking, one of smartest people on the planet, has ALS. It rarely affects the eyes. It doesn't affect senses like hearing, taste and touch.
Steve Gleason
#35. When a holy was is declared, the end justifies any means to those crusaders.
Colleen Gleason
#36. I'm happy to scrap with you, Macey darling, but we might do a little too much damage in this small space.
Colleen Gleason
#37. And then she was looking up into the deep-set, dark eyes of the Marquess of Rockley.
Colleen Gleason
#38. Confidence, knowing for certain that the person making the call has your safety foremost in their mind. And knowing that the job you are about to take on is the right thing to do, that it makes sense.
Paul Gleason
#39. I always knew our first time would be in a carriage. - Sebastian
Colleen Gleason
#40. Why do you have a picture of my mentor, Siri, on the shelf above your fireplace? - Evaline.
...
That's not your mentor... That's my mother, Desiree. - Mina
Colleen Gleason
#41. Colin could have been offended or irked by her presumptive attitude, but sharp women didn't threaten him. In fact, he enjoyed watching them work. And, of course, there was the fact that he'd married one.
Colleen Gleason
#42. The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
Jackie Gleason
#43. Human beings are able to reflect on their existencefor now that distinguishes us from other creatures.
Jean Berko Gleason
#44. Your brain is not formed when you're born, you have to build your brain.
Jean Berko Gleason
#45. Kids will use their own system at the stage that they are, they're not (learning merely by) imitating you.
Jean Berko Gleason
#47. That ability to take in your surroundings and sort out the important stuff, to be aware, to be vigilant. Then take all that information, put it together, and see if it makes sense to you.
Paul Gleason
#48. A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
Jackie Gleason
#50. Literacy, written language is a very late acquisition in terms of human evolution.
Jean Berko Gleason
#51. Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
Jackie Gleason
#52. How does one address ... the master of the vampire executioners? My lord? Your grace? Your stakeness?
Colleen Gleason
#53. Language develops by interacting with other people talking to you.
Jean Berko Gleason
#54. Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.
Jackie Gleason
#55. I think people should be brave and take a chance and do what excites them.
Jean Berko Gleason
#56. Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.
Jackie Gleason
#57. I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.
Jackie Gleason
#58. Oh. Really? Smith? The most common, boring name in the world? - Evaline, to Pix
Colleen Gleason
#59. That would be a fine day ... one that I needed a girl to save my life. From a vampire.
Colleen Gleason
#60. We have this enormous connection to the living world that is reflected in our language.
Jean Berko Gleason
#61. We all face adversity and tragedy and need inspiration and motivation to Keep Rolling.
Steve Gleason
#62. If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.
Jackie Gleason
#63. Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.
Jackie Gleason
#64. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be awesome. Awesome Ain't Easy.
Steve Gleason
#65. Of the top 30 words that parents are calling kids' attention to ('look at the'), 12 are animals.
Jean Berko Gleason
#66. The only thing worse than a liar is a betrayer. Both are killers, for they kill both truth and trust.
Dennis Gleason
#68. If we have a purpose in life beyond being a cog in the human machine, mine is to help inspire people and that's pretty cool. I would like to motivate the world.
Steve Gleason
#69. Typing with your fingers or thumbs is sooooo 2012. I tweeted that earlier in the year. I type with my eyes. Not only that, I navigate my computer, create and play music, keep a calendar, conference call, lead web X meetings, text and, obviously, tweet with my eyes.
Steve Gleason
#70. We all have a timeline. Most of us don't live like we have a timeline.
Steve Gleason
#71. Wha--huh? You've made a mistake? You? Wait... The world isn't ending. Big Ben's Infinity Day Clock has stopped. You can't have made a mistake. It's simply not... possible. It's a day just like any other day. - Evaline, to Mina
Colleen Gleason
#72. I've changed my mind, and when we're finished, Victoria, you won't remember your own name... let alone Viogets." ~ Max
Colleen Gleason
#73. Hello, Miss Adler. Irene Adler. Wow," he said, his voice hushed. "This is so weird.
Colleen Gleason
#74. I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them.
Jackie Gleason
#75. It's better to star in Oshkosh than to starve on Broadway.
James Gleason
#76. Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
Jackie Gleason
#77. One of these days ... One of these days ... Pow! Right in the kisser!
Jackie Gleason
#79. Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.
Jackie Gleason
#80. Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
Jackie Gleason
#81. Many ALS patients end up fading away quietly and dying. For me, this was not OK. I did not want to fade away quietly.
Steve Gleason
#82. I have moments where I miss my old self. But I think anyone can get caught up in what we used to have. But at the same time, we can choose to focus on the beauty of now.
Steve Gleason
#83. I didn't want to love you, but I can't help it. I don't want to be without you, but I bloody well will. - Max
Colleen Gleason
#84. I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
Jackie Gleason
#85. Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.
Jackie Gleason
#86. Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged,
Jackie Gleason
#87. I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality ... So I knew that I had to create some characters.
Jackie Gleason
#88. The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
Jackie Gleason
#89. It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.
Jackie Gleason
#90. To have a statue of you up 100 years from now at the Superdome, I think that's amazing.
Steve Gleason
#92. I think about death all the time. I think that's a good thing because we're all going to die, and the only thing we can control is how we are and what we're doing in the meantime.
Steve Gleason
#94. The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world.
Jackie Gleason
#95. I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
Jackie Gleason
#96. Life is difficult. Not just for me or other ALS patients. Life is difficult for everyone. Finding ways to make life meaningful and purposeful and rewarding, doing the activities that you love and spending time with the people that you love - I think that's the meaning of this human experience.
Steve Gleason
#97. I don't plan to be a gentleman about this Victoria. He doesn't want you - he doesn't want anyone - an I do." ~ Sebastian
Colleen Gleason
#98. Hurry up, Mina. There's a dead body here for you! - Evaline
Colleen Gleason
#99. Because ALS is underfunded, patients have had no option but to fade away and die. That is not OK.
Steve Gleason
#100. Integrity- What you would do if you knew you would never be found out
Chuck Gleason
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