Top 100 Garrison's Quotes
#1. Madeleine was enraptured by Garrison's tan complexion, which greatly differed from the pale boys of London. It wasn't actually the boys' fault, as the whole of the United Kingdom was under a cloud for much of the year. But at that moment, Madeleine decided that boys, like bread, were better toasted.
Gitty Daneshvari
#2. That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life. - Garrison Keillor In
Gavin De Becker
#3. Canada has, at times, represented itself as a country in a valiant struggle against powerful and menacing agents that are indifferent to its special practices and sensibilities - most especially American culture. It's the old, outdated garrison mentality.
Miriam Toews
#4. Do you think it's right for Christians to use the names of pagan gods for the days of the week?
Garrison Keillor
#6. By God, no matter what Republicans say, the people of this country really do care about each other. We are not a cold people. By God, when John F. Kennedy said, "Ask what you can do for your country," he spoke to this country's heart and conscience.
Garrison Keillor
#7. It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of.
Garrison Keillor
#8. Free enterprise runs on self interest. This is socialism and it runs on loyalty ... if people were going to live by comparison shopping, the town would go bust ... If you live there you have to take it as a whole. That's loyalty.
Garrison Keillor
#10. Worry is not the symptom of a problematic life; it's the problem. Situations pass that make our life difficult, it's the worry that stay's with us that makes us ultimately unhappy.
Garrison Wynn
#12. Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.
Garrison Keillor
#13. I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
Garrison Keillor
#14. Mr. Garrison glanced at Daemon, frowning. "It's the fact that the energy was so strong it disrupted a satellite's signal and they weren't able to snap any pictures of the event. Nothing like that has ever happened before."
Daemon kept his expression blank. "I guess I'm just that awesome.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#15. Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
Garrison Keillor
#16. That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor
#17. The drag queen walks into a Catholic church as the priest is coming down the aisle swinging the incense pot. And he says to the priest, Oh, honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag's on fire?
Garrison Keillor
#20. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
#21. If you speak to anyone who's ever done time, the fact that you make it out of there alive is a miracle.
Lane Garrison
#22. tragic Powell, the Company Man Who Could Have Been Great, who was offered the mantle by all the polls but deferred to the Boss's Callow Son and vouched for him,
Garrison Keillor
#23. The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
#24. Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.
Garrison Keillor
#25. A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.
Garrison Keillor
#26. If Berlin fell, the US would lose Europe, and if Europe fell into the hands of the Soviet Union and thus added its great industrial plant to the USSR's already great industrial plant, the United States would be reduced to the character of a garrison state if it were to survive at all.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
#27. Over the next 20 to 30 years, we are going to end up with world government. It's inevitable ... There's going to be conflict, coercion and consensus. That's part of what will be required as we give birth to the first global civilization.
Jim Garrison
#28. Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
Garrison Keillor
#29. Peace begins in each person's heart and then is passed on to the people they love most. Then they pass it on until everyone has peace in their heart.
Jennifer Garrison
#30. I derive no pleasure from prosecuting a man, even though I know he's guilty; do you think I could sleep at night or look at myself in the mirror in the morning if I hounded an innocent man?
Jim Garrison
#31. It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
#32. I am a cheerful man, even in the dark, and it's all thanks to a good Lutheran mother ... Mother was well composed, a true Lutheran, and taught me to Cheer up, Make yourself useful, Mind your manners, and above all, Don't feel sorry for yourself.
Garrison Keillor
#33. Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
#34. I did honest television. Real, live, honest television. That's what I did best.
Greg Garrison
#35. One of the things about jail that's weird is that you're sent to a place where you're supposed to sit there and think about your actions and their consequences and why you're there. And I think now, it turns more into - the minute you go there, it's just survival.
Lane Garrison
#36. A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor
#37. VOREN'S BRUSHSTROKES BEAT a steady cadence against the canvas, pausing only to dip into globs of vibrant paint to be renewed in color, in life, in power. Power to translate reality into dream, dream into emotion, and emotion - transcending comprehension - into its own newly expressed reality.
Nathan Garrison
#38. It?s a beautiful descent in a 737, into the Bitterroot Valley, following the Clark Fork River, on a perfect golden autumn day .
Garrison Keillor
#39. Not everyone has a Life's Work. Some people simply have a Life.
Garrison Keillor
#40. Have interesting failures ... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve ... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
#41. I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
#42. I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
Garrison Keillor
#43. There's no mastery to be had. You love the attempt. You don't master a story any more than you master a river. You feel lucky to canoe down it.
Garrison Keillor
#44. There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
#45. The fundamental religion of most of mankind is the faith that God has revealed Himself to us and not to the barbarians. Our tribe is the one God chose and so if we vanquish the other tribes and rain fire and destruction on them, we're only carrying out God's Will.
Garrison Keillor
#47. For some people, you know, Garrison Keillor, Rush Limbaugh, really the stars, they've got a passion. They eat, drink and breathe radio, and I'm not like that. I used to think I wanted to be. But I need to be away from it, too, and that's the difference, I think.
Tom Bodett
#48. Never say anything bad about a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. By then he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever you want to.
Garrison Keillor
#49. It's better to be burnished with use than rusty with principle.
Garrison Keillor
#50. Garrison Keillor read several of my poems on 'The Writer's Almanac' and I've heard from listeners nationally and internationally. That's one of the great gifts of email.
Ellen Bass
#51. Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Garrison Keillor
#52. Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
#54. I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
#55. To those who don't want the truth about Kennedy's assassination to become known, the very repetition of a charge lends it a certain credibility, since people have a tendency to believe that where there's smoke, there's fire.
Jim Garrison
#56. All the charges you enumerate have been made with one purpose in mind-to place our office on the defensive and make us waste valuable time answering allegations that have no basis in fact.
Jim Garrison
#57. Satisfaction may be the goal of the common man; but it is the enemy of greatness
Garrison Wynn
#58. Bravery and adventure! That's the ticket! Don't sit and gather moss. Get up, get out, do what you dream of doing, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and you don't need to made that particular mistake again, but at least you won't get old wondering what if you had.
Garrison Keillor
#59. In proportion as we perceive and embrace the truth do we become just, heroic, magnanimous, divine.
William Lloyd Garrison
#60. I feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison Keillor
#61. When you're in your 20s, your 30s, even, you have - at least, I had - vast ambitions, and you sit around mooning about these things, and you're depressed, because you haven't done them. And it takes you a long time to come to the realization that if you can't be John Updike, well, then, you can't.
Garrison Keillor
#62. There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.
Garrison Keillor
#63. Wal-Mart is going in and slaughtering [small towns] just as we once killed the buffalo.
Garrison Keillor
#64. Bonnie and Clyde were almost like a modern-day Robin Hood, stealing 'the government's money.' I think that's a bit of why they were glorified.
Lane Garrison
#65. We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
#66. Eople (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison Keillor
#68. Hospitality is the act of making people feel at home - when you wish they were.
Renee Garrison
#69. With reasonable men, I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost.
William Lloyd Garrison
#70. A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
#71. Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.
Garrison Keillor
#72. We writers don't really think about whether what we write is good or not. It's too much to worry about. We just put the words down, trying to get them right, operating by some inner sense of pitch and proportion, and from time to time, we stick the stuff in an envelope and ship it to an editor.
Garrison Keillor
#73. Too many of my fellow Christians voted for selfishness and for degradation of the beautiful world God created. I guess they figured that by the time the planet was a smoky wasteland, they'd be nice and comfy in heaven, so wotthehell.
Garrison Keillor
#74. The minimalist path is not about getting rid of everything and owning nothing, it is about living an integrated life in which everything has meaning and value because it is about your way of being.
Ela Garrison
#75. One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
Garrison Keillor
#76. Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
#77. There was no way to lock down, or tighten up, or Fail-Safe into Security Theater a race that covers 26.2 miles, a race that travels from town to town, a race that travels past people's houses. There was no way to garrison the Boston Marathon. Now there will be.
Charlie Pierce
#78. As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
#79. It's confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison Keillor
#80. I longed for the pitter-patter of little feet, so I got a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Garrison Keillor
#81. The CIA could not face up to the American people and admit that its former employees had conspired to assassinate the President; so from the moment Kennedy's heart stopped beating, the Agency attempted to sweep the whole conspiracy under the rug.
Jim Garrison
#82. Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
#83. It's rather naive, apart from being ethically objectionable, to assume that our investigators travel around the country with bags of money trying to bribe witnesses to lie on the witness stand. We just don't operate that way.
Jim Garrison
#84. Beauty isn't worth thinking about. What's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor, American humorist
Habib Sadeghi
#85. Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
#86. God writes a lot of comedy ... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
#87. Ralph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of classic folk songs is one of his best.
Garrison Keillor
#88. You learn this great lesson of life: it's not about me. It's just not. The matter of talent-which seemed so important to you when you were young-is not of great importance. We're simply a conduit. We take things out of the air into us and put them in the form of stories. That's pretty much it.
Garrison Keillor
#89. Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
Garrison Keillor
#90. The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.
Garrison Keillor
#91. What would people think?'
Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats. Constant motion. That's why you have to look at the heart.
'Oh,' said Grandpa.
Garrison Keillor
#92. It [slavery] has exercised absolute mastery over the American Church ... With the Bible in their hands, her priesthood have attempted to prove that slavery came down from God out of heaven. They have become slaveholders and dealers in human flesh.
William Lloyd Garrison
#93. I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
Garrison Keillor
#94. Republicans are all about Old Glory and school prayer and the sanctity of marriage and the Fatherhood of God but when it comes to actually needing help from them, you shouldn't get your hopes up. They might send an ambulance or they might just send a Get Well card.
Garrison Keillor
#95. Thy key to being able to communicate and benefit from each other is to truly see you own value. That will allow you to see it more clearly in others.
Garrison Wynn
#96. That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor
#97. You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
Garrison Keillor
#98. Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
#99. It's not how you to come to Christ but how close you walk with him thereafter that is paramount.
Lakya M Garrison
#100. I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
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