Funny Small Town Quotes

#1. Ideas go booming through the world louder than cannon. Thoughts are mightier than armies. Principles have achieved more victories than horsemen or chariots.

William McGregor Paxton

#2. 'A Tuna Christmas' is the second in a series of plays created by Joe Sears and Jaston Williams featuring the fictional town of Greater Tuna, the third-smallest town in Texas. What makes these plays so hysterically funny is the accurate portrayal of small-town life in the Lone Star State.

Lori Wilde

#3. He was the most handsome nightmare she had ever met.

Jamie Farrell

#4. I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the witch.

Kathy Lette

#5. Heaven's Bakery help them all.

Jamie Farrell

#6. You don't get inspiration sitting at a drawing board or in front of your computer.

James Dyson

#7. Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since.

Dave Beard

#8. Movement is vital. Whether it's running, cross training, hiking with the dogs, or walking the streets of New York, I am constantly active.

Theo Rossi

#9. I try to speak of a love that not necessarily romantic. I think there is so much love between people and so much love people want to give but it's harder and harder these days to show that, to celebrate that, you know?

Emeli Sande

#10. And so, in the end, the question of markets is really a question about how we want to live together. Do we want a society where everything is up for sale? Or are there certain moral and civic goods that markets do not honor and money cannot buy?

Michael J. Sandel

#11. Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

T. S. Eliot

#12. San Francisco has a flowers-in-your-hair kind of vibe, while Chicago's got this very funny, big-city/small-town coolness to it.

Dave Matthews

#13. It was a small town: Ferguson, Ohio. When you entered there was a big sign and it said, "Welcome to Ferguson. Beware of the Dog." The all-night drugstore closed at noon.

Jackie Vernon

#14. She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked hot in four-inch heels. He wondered how long she'd last in this town, and he decided he wanted to sleep with her before she left.

Tami Lund

#15. That's what heroic stories do for us. They show us the way. They remind us of the good we are capable of.

Sam Raimi

#16. You're doing this for Kimmie for free."
"I'd do anything for Kimmie."
"Including bury a body?"
"Especially bury a body.

Jamie Farrell

#17. Music was not so very different from mathematics. It was all just patterns and sequences. The only difference was that they hung in the air instead of on a piece of paper. Dancing was a grand equation. One side was sound, the other movement. The dancer's job was to make them equal.

Julia Quinn

#18. Stop going to the zoos! Don't take your children to the zoos! No creature ever deserves captivity without any crime!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

#19. I looked around the tiny bathroom, at the three of us crammed in. A billionaire, a movie star, and a small town girl. It was some sick lesbian twist on Gilligan's Island. I would have laughed but none of it was funny.

Giselle Fox

#20. My town's quite small and you kinda recognize everyone when you see them, so I definitely get funny looks from people.

Birdy

#21. Right on time, sugar." Josh draped his arm around her shoulders and steered her through the lobby. "Traffic okay?"
"Yeah, except when that alien spaceship landed on I-90 and then all those crickets jumped out to perform Beethoven's Fifth on kazoos. Otherwise, clear sailing.

Jamie Farrell

#22. Josh squeezed her arm. "I'll behave," he murmured. "For now."
She's going to pickle your cucumbers."
"He has more than one?" Natalie whispered.
"That's between me and Kimmie," Josh replied.

Jamie Farrell

#23. Well sue me for staring. I'd be willing to scrub away my shame on his washboard abs.

Tia Giacalone

#24. If my mom sees you here, she'll ---"
"Paper the walls with my innards while the innocents watch?

Jamie Farrell