Funny Lesbian Quotes

#1. I have collected all the writings of the Empire and burnt those which were of no use.

Qin Shi Huang

#2. I'm twenty-four, a first grade teacher, have a Yorkie named Pedro, a goldfish named Fish, have never had sex, or a serious boyfriend, and I'm the town lesbian who pukes when she sees a pussy. Nothing really to be jealous of at all.

H.J. Bellus

#3. Olduvai Gorge gives us one of the most remarkable stories of the past-the last chapter of the Earth's history, starting at the present day, right away back 2 million years.

Louis Leakey

#4. It's not wrong, pal," he said to her back. "You've been brought up to think so. Most of us have. But who are they hurting? Nobody. They're just making each other happy. And you want their heads to roll because it makes you feel funny.

Ann Bannon

#5. Something gurgled in his throat. It took a moment before he realized it was a scream bottled in his innards, a blast of misery trying to force its way out.

Tad Williams

#6. There is no control and perfection is arrogant. Practice messiness, letting go, and doing things badly.

SARK

#7. If cheese was a woman, I'd marry her. I'd come home and eat her every night.

Solange Nicole

#8. If I could give you one special ability in life it would be the gift of seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you - Then you would realise just how amazing you truly are.

Steven Aitchison

#9. Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

Adam Carolla

#10. Travel is the ultimate inspiration.

Michael Kors

#11. Christ, they'd be getting a cat next. He mentally recoiled from the idea: the day they did that, he'd cut off his dick and call himself a lesbian.

Kate Aaron

#12. Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities.

Robyn Carr

#13. It's funny when people ask if I'm a lesbian. I played a real estate agent in 'Father of the Bride, Part II,' but no one has asked me if I sell real estate.

Nora Dunn

#14. She was supportive, didn't pry or expect anything from me, and sensed when I needed my space. If she were a guy, I'd probably date her. Or, if I were a lesbian. And if she were a lesbian. I guess we'd both have to be lesbians for that to work. Regardless, she made a pretty great friend.

Temple West

#15. Any of you who have members of your family in the lifestyle, we have a member of our family that is [lesbian]. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay.

Michele Bachmann

#16. I looked around the tiny bathroom, at the three of us crammed in. A billionaire, a movie star, and a small town girl. It was some sick lesbian twist on Gilligan's Island. I would have laughed but none of it was funny.

Giselle Fox

#17. We see only what we have names for.

Garrett Hardin

#18. Before my mom decided she was a lesbian, I thought lesbians were all these really nice, earthy, crunchy, let's smother you with our twenty extra pounds of lady love and fight the power people.

Alison Umminger

#19. An unpeaceful mind cannot operate normally.

Watchman Nee